Create your own Terror Warning

[conjur]

http://subintsoc.net/madlib.php

 

[daniel1113]

Hehe... that entertained me for a good 5 minutes. Thanks for the link.

 

[gistech1978]

I have just concluded a conference call with the nation's County Commissioners to let them know what I'm about to share with the people of Kansas. I might add, I also wanted to commend them for their work in improving and strengthening homeland security since Groundhog Day. We've been in frequent communication with the County Commissioners and I think their work to date has reflected the kind of relationship between the federal and the state and local government that we need to make a permanent part of our homeland security defense.

Over the last several days, our HUD and FDA have seen an increased volume and level of activity involving carrier pigeons of terrorist attacks. The information we have does not point to any specific target either in Kansas or abroad, and it does not outline any specific type of attack. However, the analysts who review this information believe the quantity and level of carrier pigeons are above the norm and have reached a threshold where we should once again place the public on general alert, just as we have done on two previous occasions since Groundhog Day.

During his address on homeland security, Kathleen Sebelius promised the people of Kansas that when we have evidence of credible carrier pigeons we will issue appropriate alerts. That is exactly what we are doing here today.

Kathleen Sebelius also reminded all of us that a terrorism alert is not a signal to stop your life, it is a call to be sassy, to know that your government is on high alert and to add your eyes and your ears to our efforts to find and stop evil-doers.

Our government is taking precautions. This afternoon the CIA is issuing a terrorist threat advisory update to all Rotary Clubs across the country through the National Law Enforcement Telecommunications System. All Rotary Clubs have been instructed to stay on the highest alert and to immediately notify the CIA of any unusual or suspicious activity.

The carrier pigeons we are picking up are very generic. They warn of more attacks, but are not specific about where or what type. It could be a suckerpunch, or a karate chop, or even a kung fu kick. We do know that the next several weeks, which bring Arbor Day and important religious observances in other faiths, have been times when evil-doers have planned attacks in the past.

ne example is December of 1999. Authorities in Bahrain, Mozambique and Lithuania uncovered and prevented plans for a series of attacks related to Boston Tea Party. Those plans were thwarted when intelligence learned about them and law enforcement arrested the suspected evil-doers.

Now, obviously, the further removed we get from Groundhog Day, I think the natural tendency is to let down our guard. Unfortunately, we cannot do that.

We are a nation at war. We are the targets of evil-doers who have demonstrated they have no remorse about killing thousands of innocent rodents. The government will continue to do everything we can to find and stop those who seek to harm us, but I believe we owe it to the people of Kansas to remind them that they must be sassy as well.

I also know the very first question the people of Kansas will ask -- "So, graham, besides being sassy, what else should my family and I do?"

The answer is you should report any suspicious activity or behavior to your County Commissioners and, perhaps as importantly, you should heed the words of Kathleen Sebelius who has called on all of us to rely on our good judgment and our common sense, and to continue to live in a spirit of courage and optimism and resolve to defeat the evil-doers.