crazy people (like me) renting apartments

[eakers]

Okay so over the next few months I am going to be looking to move out of my parents house.

The thing is that I get some pretty bad anxiety and that there are certain times of the day when I need it to be (what I would consider reasonably) quiet. These times are pretty random, typically when I come home from work or shopping or long car rides I need a good half hour to an hour of quiet time. During this time if there is any loud noises (especially loud music) I will freak out. By freak out I mean start crying hysterically, pulling my hair out and scratching my arms until they bleed. My family is really good about this and so they won't yell or play the tv loud or music loud if i ask them not to. Small amounts of noise are fine, it doesn't have to be a library but the one thing that triggers it really bad is bass from stereos and computers.

I am just really scared about moving into an apartment and having a neighbour who will like to turn up the bass on their tv, computer, stereo and be really angry about having to turn it down. I mean, it doesn't have to be quiet 24/7 but I need quiet most of the time. Part of me also feels like they should be able to play their music however they want too.

I know I can't have a roommate because of this and I am not considering it. I also will not consider anti-anxiety medications because its not an issue if i get my quiet time.

My questions are:

1) is it unreasonable to break a lease (and take my landlord to tribunal if necessary) if I am promised a quiet apartment and it is not?

2) is it unreasonable to ask for a clause in the lease saying if it is too loud I can break my lease

3) how on earth can i protect myself from getting into a situation where I am living in a place I simply can't live?

 

[KarenMarie]

1) no i dont think there is a quiet clause in standard leases.
2) no the landlord cannot promise to keep things quiet.
3) stay home with your parents.

i understand how you feel... i own this house and it drives me nuts...

the house next door was sold to someone who turned it into a two family house. he doesnt live here.. he rents it out. the ppl downstairs are white trash... they have ppl coming and going at all hours of the day and night. we canno keep count of the ppl coming and going. they have a habit of stringing an extension cord out the front window so they can sit on the stoop until all hours listening to C Rap music. They have fights all the time.. usually at 3AM.

upstairs .. hahaha. he rented to ppl from Newark NJ and they love to play the hispanc music. Not that I have a problem with their wanting to listen to thier music.. but... i am forced to close all my windows and doors and am STILL forced to listen along with them.

Nope... if i did not own this place. i would move. most of the other ppl on the block feel the same.

Stay with your parents until you can get a house in the middle of no where... i wish i could.

 

[Mo0o]

Are you/ can you get therapy for something like this? WHat if you have one of these attacks while in public or if you are at work? Seems like something that can be hard to accomodate as "noise level" is pretty arbitrary and all the horror stories of noisy neighbors makes me think you can't break a lease just for that.

The best bet to find an expensive place to live where the people who can afford the rent will tend to be older and more mature. They will likely be more reasonable and accomodating. THe last place you want is the cheapest place you can find where the people living there probably dropped out ot junior college and popping out the 7th kid.

 

[Yossarian]

yes, yes, buy a house.

 

[FoBoT]

Originally posted by: eakers
My questions are:

1) is it unreasonable to break a lease (and take my landlord to tribunal if necessary) if I am promised a quiet apartment and it is not?

2) is it unreasonable to ask for a clause in the lease saying if it is too loud I can break my lease

3) how on earth can i protect myself from getting into a situation where I am living in a place I simply can't live?

you can't just break a lease because its noisy, you'll end up in court

you need to find a house or find a retirement community (just old people) type apartment that will grant you an exception to thier age requirement

 

[BCYL]

Ever thought of buying some ear-plugs or noise cancelling headphones?

 

You say you won't consider medication, but if you want to be independent and live on your own, you'll need to medicate, or you'll be a wreck. I've seen it happen before, and it's not pretty.

If you've already got a therapist, get a referral to a psychiatrist. If you're already seeing a doctor, ask him/her to prescribe something.

I'm never one to suggest over-medication, but you'll not get better unless your emotions are under control.

 

[CRXican]

ear plugs?

 

[MetalMat]

Man you need some help if you freak out that bad. I would annoy you with all the guitar I play and heavy metal I listen to. Ever tried ear plugs?

 

[LordMorpheus]

You could find an apartment near a quiet park. There are some great parks in Stl with hardly anybody in them. Hard to find a better "quiet spot" than that.

 

[imported_Pablo]

You could rent a house, or rent a room above a nice older family's garage or something!

My house/neighborhood is quiet, but I'm not renting...

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: BCYL
Ever thought of buying...noise cancelling headphones?

Sounds like a must have for your situation, Eakers. If I was in your shoes, I'd try them out before I make any further plans. If they work, you're golden.

 

[yllus]

Renting in Ontario

It's not unreasonable to have that written into a lease as far as I was just able to look up. To clarify, if you can get a noise condition quantified and written into a lease that you both sign, it should stick.

In Ontario there seems to be a few types of terms of rental periods: Typically one-year, but there's also month-to-month, or week-to-week. Your best bet might be to do a week-to-week lease early on and if everything looks kosher, switch to month-to-month. ("The tenant can terminate daily or weekly tenancies with 28 days written notice. Otherwise tenants must give 60 days notice when moving.")

Realistically it's probably best for you to live in a single, unattached dwelling that's got a bit of distance between you and your neighbours, and is far from a main road. Also make sure to inquire with the landlord to see if they're planning on doing construction on the property anytime soon. That could make anyone lose it.

For information about your rights and obligations under the Tenant Protection Act of Ontario, you can contact the tribunal responsible for it at 416-645-8080 or toll-free 1-888-332-3234.

You can get information from these numbers 24 hours a day. You can talk to a Customer Service Representative Monday to Friday, from 8:30 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.

 

[cjgallen]

Originally posted by: CRXican
ear plugs?

or therapy.

 

[Phoenix86]

This will likely not appear in the contract, but your cities ordinaces.

Bass through walls loud enough to feel at just about any hour = me at your doorstep, and I know where you live. ^.^

I also will not consider anti-anxiety medications because its not an issue if i get my quiet time.

You can make everyone in the world deal with you, or you can deal with all of them. Don't let that feeling of "I'm not taking meds if I don't need them" blind you from the fact you may actually need them. Good luck.

edit: ear plugs/headphones do not stop bass.

 

[thirdlegstump]

If you're that crazy, I don't think you should be doing this as you'll just be a nuisance to the rest of the community.

 

[Muadib]

Originally posted by: Yossarian
yes, yes, buy a house.

This is the only answer. You should continue to stay a home, and save for a down payment. Renting would be a crap shoot.
You should see a psychiatrist. They would really help you. Trust me, you are not alone.
Good luck!!

 

[Landroval]

I would not rely on ordinances. We have deranged dogs barking at night that wake us up, and have had home construction on three sides of our house. Even when they started before the allowed time there was nothing we could do but ask them not to (ignored) or call police (who did nothing but tell them to start later, which they ignored). Now we have a teenage "band" that rehearses next door. The only safe thing is to look for a quiet place AND deal with your issue by getting headphones or learning to manage it better. On that note, I almost passed out when my new neighbor knocked on my door at 2 pm last saturday and told me to turn the music down. I was playing classical music on my tiny computer speakers (with no bass, at level 4) and could barely hear it sitting at my desk allof two feet away, but it somehow ruined her beauty sleep below me :Q

 

[notfred]

Buy a house in the middle of a forest.

 

[CocoGdog]

Get whatever apartment you can to get started. Moving out of your parent's house is the 1st in the long line of life decissions. My first apartment was a studio in a crappy neighborhood. Kids used to vandalize my car and egg my door. Eventually, I brought a house - but you have to get started somewhere right?

 

[imported_malcontent]

I doubt you could get out of a lease, due to noise, unless it was well documented and even then, you would most likely have to go to court.

The best thing to do would be to visit the place later at night, and on the weekend nights to see what it is really like. Talk to people that live there and see what they have to say. In an apartment, you have to remember that others are living in the same building with you, so, there will be some noise. Even in a house in the 'burbs, there is noise to deal with as others have mentioned.

 

[Bryophyte]

If you have so little control over yourself that you tantrum to the point that you harm yourself just because you hear someone shout or the TV is on, you probably are not in any condition to live by yourself. You seem like a nice person, but you obviously need some professional help. Don't be so quick to dismiss the possibility of using medication if a professional determines you need it to function normally.

Have you been diagnosed with a specific disorder? Schizophrenia? Autism?

 

[eakers]

i think i am making this sound worse than it is. i am okay with the tv being on but if there is pulsating music coming from the room beside me or people screaming at eachother i can't handle it.

i am fine at work and in public. these attacks are rare but they do happen, especially when I am tired and trying to sleep.. I have spent the weekend at other peoples apartments and have never had a problem or noticed excessive noise coming from other apartments. i can handle noise every so often but not every single day, all hours of the day.

for the most part it is not an issue, right now I live in a townhouse and my neighbours are normal people who make normal noise and its never been an issue with them but I am thinking that apartments don't have the same kind of sound insulation that houses do.

i'll probabley end up buying or renting a townhouse or something and hope for the best.

 

[Antisocial Virge]

Townhouse in a nicer neighbourhood. I lived in one that had firewalls between the units and you can set bombs off and the neighbours can't here you. Plus having a townhouse you don't have people up or below you to hear moving around all hours of the night.

 

[Rainsford]

Here is the advice I have for apartments. First, renting an apartment that shares walls with 1 bedroom places usually makes it quieter since there aren't a lot of people there most of the time. More importantly, rent a good apartment, even if it means spending more than you wanted to. People who spend a lot of money on an apartment will generally be better neighbors, you won't get lowlifes, college students, or a lot of others groups.