Craving for human interaction

[Chryso]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: Chryso

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Sweet just as always pontifex has come up with a rebuttal for why he CANNOT take on any of the suggestions. The root of your problems are right their buddy..... your a "cannot" thinker. You need to get rid of that mentality entirely and become a "how can I" thinker.

and as always, you're here to tell me about it. man, what would i do without you?

same shit different day man. We had this conversation about a year ago....and here you are today no different. You obviously don't really want to change, you enjoy the misery on some masochistic level.

Nah, it isn't that. Some people are just born more socially challenged.
I would guess that he is really shy. I can understand it. I have been there.
You have to learn how to overcome it.
I have two daughters. One is 8 and the other is 5. The 5 year old never meets a stranger. She will walk up to other kids and immediately start talking to them and ask them to play and will almost immediately be right in the middle of everything. (she takes after her mother)
The 8 year old, on the other hand, hangs back. (she takes after me, or at least how I was when I was younger) She won't start playing with other kids unless/until she is invited. Because other kids are typically oblivious to this they may invite her or they may not even notice her. This absolutely kills me because I know EXACTLY what she is doing and why she is doing it and would do anything to help her get past this and be more social. I remember doing what she does and how much I wanted to start playing but I didn't know how to start.
I never would have thought it was something you are born with as much as it is if I didn't see how different my two girls are.

I am guessing this is how Pontifex is. He just needs to learn how to get past the fear and get out there and talk to people. Start with something small like saying Hi to someone you work with but don't really know. You already have an in with them so it should be easier than a complete stranger. It will get easier with practice, trust me on this.

yeah, that is pretty much how i am. I've been shy all my life. I've gotten better at it, but its never totally gone away. I used to be so shy I wouldn't even talk to my grandparents. this was when i was a lot younger, like early elementary school age, but it shows how bad it was.

even now, when i'm with a group of people, i tend to keep quiet unless someone speaks directly to me. I also never seem to have anything to add to a conversation because I have no insight to the topic or haven't experienced this or that.

I couldn't say exactly how I came out of it but it does get easier with practice.
Start with small things. Nothing that happens will be worse than being bored to death by yourself.

 

[HammerCurl]

Originally posted by: Chryso

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: Chryso

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Sweet just as always pontifex has come up with a rebuttal for why he CANNOT take on any of the suggestions. The root of your problems are right their buddy..... your a "cannot" thinker. You need to get rid of that mentality entirely and become a "how can I" thinker.

and as always, you're here to tell me about it. man, what would i do without you?

same shit different day man. We had this conversation about a year ago....and here you are today no different. You obviously don't really want to change, you enjoy the misery on some masochistic level.

Nah, it isn't that. Some people are just born more socially challenged.
I would guess that he is really shy. I can understand it. I have been there.
You have to learn how to overcome it.
I have two daughters. One is 8 and the other is 5. The 5 year old never meets a stranger. She will walk up to other kids and immediately start talking to them and ask them to play and will almost immediately be right in the middle of everything. (she takes after her mother)
The 8 year old, on the other hand, hangs back. (she takes after me, or at least how I was when I was younger) She won't start playing with other kids unless/until she is invited. Because other kids are typically oblivious to this they may invite her or they may not even notice her. This absolutely kills me because I know EXACTLY what she is doing and why she is doing it and would do anything to help her get past this and be more social. I remember doing what she does and how much I wanted to start playing but I didn't know how to start.
I never would have thought it was something you are born with as much as it is if I didn't see how different my two girls are.

I am guessing this is how Pontifex is. He just needs to learn how to get past the fear and get out there and talk to people. Start with something small like saying Hi to someone you work with but don't really know. You already have an in with them so it should be easier than a complete stranger. It will get easier with practice, trust me on this.

yeah, that is pretty much how i am. I've been shy all my life. I've gotten better at it, but its never totally gone away. I used to be so shy I wouldn't even talk to my grandparents. this was when i was a lot younger, like early elementary school age, but it shows how bad it was.

even now, when i'm with a group of people, i tend to keep quiet unless someone speaks directly to me. I also never seem to have anything to add to a conversation because I have no insight to the topic or haven't experienced this or that.

I couldn't say exactly how I came out of it but it does get easier with practice.
Start with small things. Nothing that happens will be worse than being bored to death by yourself.

This is true, I mean I remember my friend senior year of college had no game whatsoever (like 2 years ago), and I was embarassed around him whenever I'd hear any conversation he'd try to strike up. Maybe not extremely shy, but definitely awkward. He got his shit together since then and now he's slaying random whores. It takes time, just put yourself out there because chances are you will come off as that shy weirdo when you start but the more you do it the better you get. It's all just practice.

 

[xboxist]

Starting an exercise routine does WONDERS for self-esteem and confidence, and your overall outlook on things. At least that was the case for me. You literally "feel" 10x better. It's hard to explain if you aren't physically active. You get to a point where you hate missing a workout because you've missed how that workout makes you feel afterwards (as opposed to looking forward to missing a workout).

It's a simple little thing that most people deprive themselves of.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: Skacer

Originally posted by: zinfamous
I have a solution, then.

every 4th of July, one of my good friend's neighbors drinks himself silly, walks out to his front yard (this is the thick of the suburbs, mind you), and fires his pistol into the air. No one seems to care b/c he's never a threat to anyone and never has any ill intentions. Not sure how long this has been going on (if indeed it still is--this story is at least 10 years old).

clearly, it seems possible to shoot at night. maybe it helps that it's the 4th, with gunfire easily mistaken for fireworks...but why not just assume every night is the 4th, run outside after work, and start shooting wildly into the air? can't hurt, right? I bet it feels damn good.

(Ummm, this works in the South. not sure about PA)

I hope nobody pays you to come up with solutions.

hey, you think I would post a gem like that if I were expecting payment?

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Sweet just as always pontifex has come up with a rebuttal for why he CANNOT take on any of the suggestions. The root of your problems are right their buddy..... your a "cannot" thinker. You need to get rid of that mentality entirely and become a "how can I" thinker.

and as always, you're here to tell me about it. man, what would i do without you?

he's actually right, you know. remember all of the excuses you had for not going back to school?

 

[Special K]

Originally posted by: zinfamous

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Sweet just as always pontifex has come up with a rebuttal for why he CANNOT take on any of the suggestions. The root of your problems are right their buddy..... your a "cannot" thinker. You need to get rid of that mentality entirely and become a "how can I" thinker.

and as always, you're here to tell me about it. man, what would i do without you?

he's actually right, you know. remember all of the excuses you had for not going back to school?

Yeah, I was just about to ask about that. What is the status about you returning to school? I remember you posting about that quite awhile back.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: Special K

Originally posted by: zinfamous

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Sweet just as always pontifex has come up with a rebuttal for why he CANNOT take on any of the suggestions. The root of your problems are right their buddy..... your a "cannot" thinker. You need to get rid of that mentality entirely and become a "how can I" thinker.

and as always, you're here to tell me about it. man, what would i do without you?

he's actually right, you know. remember all of the excuses you had for not going back to school?

Yeah, I was just about to ask about that. What is the status about you returning to school? I remember you posting about that quite awhile back.

I went to the CC and talked with a counselor, which really didn't help all that much. I still really have no idea what I want to do, all I can think I might like is an English degree.
I keep thinking about going, get hyped up and tell myself "i'm gong!", a few days pass and I think about it more, think about how much time its going to take, how much time and homework i'll have, working full time, travel, etc., and then i'm like, "i can't do it"

every now and then i'll pull up the CC's site and look at stuff. the last thing I did was send myself info about a "going back to school for adults" but tonight was the night for the meeting or whatever and i never called or anything. i know they have more scheduled though.

i want things to change but i'm either too lazy to do anything or too worried or scared to try. I don't like frustration and i get frustrated very easily. i know it's not going to change by itself and i know i need to do the work, but i don't seem to want to.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: Special K

Originally posted by: zinfamous

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Sweet just as always pontifex has come up with a rebuttal for why he CANNOT take on any of the suggestions. The root of your problems are right their buddy..... your a "cannot" thinker. You need to get rid of that mentality entirely and become a "how can I" thinker.

and as always, you're here to tell me about it. man, what would i do without you?

he's actually right, you know. remember all of the excuses you had for not going back to school?

Yeah, I was just about to ask about that. What is the status about you returning to school? I remember you posting about that quite awhile back.

I went to the CC and talked with a counselor, which really didn't help all that much. I still really have no idea what I want to do, all I can think I might like is an English degree.
I keep thinking about going, get hyped up and tell myself "i'm gong!", a few days pass and I think about it more, think about how much time its going to take, how much time and homework i'll have, working full time, travel, etc., and then i'm like, "i can't do it"

every now and then i'll pull up the CC's site and look at stuff. the last thing I did was send myself info about a "going back to school for adults" but tonight was the night for the meeting or whatever and i never called or anything. i know they have more scheduled though.

i want things to change but i'm either too lazy to do anything or too worried or scared to try. I don't like frustration and i get frustrated very easily. i know it's not going to change by itself and i know i need to do the work, but i don't seem to want to.

well, the first step is admitting it! now, the only thing you really can do abou it is just to sign up and give it a shot. most community colleges have decent creative-writing seminars at night. that oculd be a start.

Remember, you don't have to fully enroll in a college. Just take a course or two, here or there, and see how you like it. UNiversities do the same thing through branch campuses. look up local lifetime education offerings, and register for a course.

This way, you wouldn't feel like you got all invested in some major undertaking, feel like you copped out, and wasted time and energy on the whole thing. Creative seminar-based courses are a good way to go, I think. Particularly at night (I took several while in school and afterwards) It's mostly older people, a few younger here and there. The important thing is that everyone is pretty receptive to everyone else. It's more open, discussion based.

It's a damn good way to meet people. seroiusly...complimenting someone on their work is a good "in" if ever you need one

 

[Special K]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: Special K

Originally posted by: zinfamous

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Sweet just as always pontifex has come up with a rebuttal for why he CANNOT take on any of the suggestions. The root of your problems are right their buddy..... your a "cannot" thinker. You need to get rid of that mentality entirely and become a "how can I" thinker.

and as always, you're here to tell me about it. man, what would i do without you?

he's actually right, you know. remember all of the excuses you had for not going back to school?

Yeah, I was just about to ask about that. What is the status about you returning to school? I remember you posting about that quite awhile back.

I went to the CC and talked with a counselor, which really didn't help all that much. I still really have no idea what I want to do, all I can think I might like is an English degree.
I keep thinking about going, get hyped up and tell myself "i'm gong!", a few days pass and I think about it more, think about how much time its going to take, how much time and homework i'll have, working full time, travel, etc., and then i'm like, "i can't do it"

every now and then i'll pull up the CC's site and look at stuff. the last thing I did was send myself info about a "going back to school for adults" but tonight was the night for the meeting or whatever and i never called or anything. i know they have more scheduled though.

i want things to change but i'm either too lazy to do anything or too worried or scared to try. I don't like frustration and i get frustrated very easily. i know it's not going to change by itself and i know i need to do the work, but i don't seem to want to.

You are in PA, right? Can you move somewhere else that has a full time college/university? Surely you could find a job in one of those cities that pays at least as much as you are making now, right?

You could probably also get student loans to cover the rest, if necessary.