Country/Western Songs

[Rastus]

I never went to bed with an ugly girl, but I sure have woke up with a few.


She broke my heart, so I busted her jaw.


I'm kissing her mouth goodbye, but I'm leaving her behind for you.

 

[ctracyw]

How bout the classic "I have ex's of both sexes"?

 

[Raduque]

Hey, rastus, I'm going to send you a fecalgram.

 

[meltdown75]

Kris Kristofferson: "Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down"

Well I woke up sunday morning
With no way to hold my head, that didn?t hurt
And the beer I had for breakfast
Wasn?t bad so I had one more for dessert
Then I fumbled through my closet for my clothes
And found my cleanest dirty shirt
It?s the one I?m wearin?
And I shaved my face and combed my hair
And stumbled down the stairs to meet the day

I?d smoked my brain the night before
Or I smoked so much the night before
With cigarettes and songs that I?ve been pickin?
My mouth was like an ashtray I?d been lickin?
But I lit my first and watched a small kid
Cussin? at a can that he was kicking
Then I crossed the empty street
And caught the sunday smell of someone fryin? chicken
And it took me back to somethin?
That I?d lost somehow somewhere along the way

Chorus:
On the sunday morning sidewalks
Wishing lord that I was stoned
?cause there is something in a sunday
That makes a body feel alone
And there?s nothin? short of dyin?
Half as lonesome as the sound
On the sleepin? city side walks
Sunday mornin? comin? down