could use some general girl "shoots you down" advice

warpigeon

Senior member
Dec 5, 2004
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" I'm not ready to date anyone at this point". Or something like that (referring to a messy breakup she recently had). Christ, this girl sent me all types of messages that she was interested (although not blatant ones). Anyway time to move on, right?

Would love to get her out of my mind.
 

warpigeon

Senior member
Dec 5, 2004
263
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76
Originally posted by: ironwing
I'll bite.

What kinds of messages did she send, specifically?


Thanks for the interest: going to reply in brief

One night we went out to the city (sf) to meet friends, I pick her up. (Makes sense in a location sort of way.) She makes a point that she'll drive home if i drink too much (to her place). On the way home (I drove, didnt dink too much) she's interested in me and invites me up for water or whatever. I know I pussed out.

Next day calls me to pick her up at her friends and go watch ncaa at bar and then take care of dogs at friends house who were leaving that afternoon for tahoe (after the game). we walk dogs, get back to the house, she seems nervous, i puss out and leave (well her car was there), i didnt abandon her.

Last weekend at friends condo in sf she more or less gives me a lap dance (that I asked for). grinds me pretty good. i could tell she liked doing it.

Invited me to sub on her softball tonight (and now I'm on the team- christ!), we have drinks afterwards, get along well, I call her on my drive home. she alludes to messy breakup we talked about over drinks. shot down.


 

neegotiator

Golden Member
Jan 19, 2006
1,117
1
0
Originally posted by: warpigeon
Originally posted by: ironwing
I'll bite.

What kinds of messages did she send, specifically?


Thanks for the interest: going to reply in brief

One night we went out to the city (sf) to meet friends, I pick her up. (Makes sense in a location sort of way.) She makes a point that she'll drive home if i drink too much (to her place). On the way home (I drove, didnt dink too much) she's interested in me and invites me up for water or whatever. I know I pussed out.

Next day calls me to pick her up at her friends and go watch ncaa at bar and then take care of dogs at friends house who were leaving that afternoon for tahoe (after the game). we walk dogs, get back to the house, she seems nervous, i puss out and leave (well her car was there), i didnt abandon her.

Last weekend at friends condo in sf she more or less gives me a lap dance (that I asked for). grinds me pretty good. i could tell she liked doing it.

Invited me to sub on her softball tonight (and now I'm on the team- christ!), we have drinks afterwards, get along well, I call her on my drive home. she alludes to messy breakup we talked about over drinks. shot down.

sounds like you should move on IMO, may be conflicted and possibly use you as rebound, especially after recent breakup
 

Tig Ol Bitties

Senior member
Feb 16, 2006
305
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Sounds to me that she is attention hungry, since she no longer gets it from that ex, she looks for it somewhere else and it turned out to be you. Its kind of like a reminder to herself that she is wanted somehow, so yea...she probably got issues that you probably wont want to deal with...move on and away from the mess
 

warpigeon

Senior member
Dec 5, 2004
263
0
76
Originally posted by: neegotiator
Originally posted by: warpigeon
Originally posted by: ironwing
I'll bite.

What kinds of messages did she send, specifically?


Thanks for the interest: going to reply in brief

One night we went out to the city (sf) to meet friends, I pick her up. (Makes sense in a location sort of way.) She makes a point that she'll drive home if i drink too much (to her place). On the way home (I drove, didnt dink too much) she's interested in me and invites me up for water or whatever. I know I pussed out.

Next day calls me to pick her up at her friends and go watch ncaa at bar and then take care of dogs at friends house who were leaving that afternoon for tahoe (after the game). we walk dogs, get back to the house, she seems nervous, i puss out and leave (well her car was there), i didnt abandon her.

Last weekend at friends condo in sf she more or less gives me a lap dance (that I asked for). grinds me pretty good. i could tell she liked doing it.

Invited me to sub on her softball tonight (and now I'm on the team- christ!), we have drinks afterwards, get along well, I call her on my drive home. she alludes to messy breakup we talked about over drinks. shot down.

sounds like you should move on IMO, may be conflicted and possibly use you as rebound, especially after recent breakup


Agreed. (Of course I'd be happy to be her rebound though because i like it her.) The point is how to "move on". I've got no interests besides her. Maybe I'll be a monk for a while.
 

warpigeon

Senior member
Dec 5, 2004
263
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76
Originally posted by: Tig Ol Bitties
Sounds to me that she is attention hungry, since she no longer gets it from that ex, she looks for it somewhere else and it turned out to be you. Its kind of like a reminder to herself that she is wanted somehow, so yea...she probably got issues that you probably wont want to deal with...move on and away from the mess


Nice incite and good advice. I'm tempted to use that but I can't because after all... I'm moving on! Right? (Damn tempted to use that though... )
 

warpigeon

Senior member
Dec 5, 2004
263
0
76
Originally posted by: Tig Ol Bitties
Sounds to me that she is attention hungry, since she no longer gets it from that ex, she looks for it somewhere else and it turned out to be you. Its kind of like a reminder to herself that she is wanted somehow, so yea...she probably got issues that you probably wont want to deal with...move on and away from the mess

Sorry to bring this up again but this point may be right on the mark. Why am i tempted to save face by using this nugget? Why do i feel the need to save face at all? I should just let it all go, more fish in the sea etc.... right? I admire guys that can be shot down and get up, unscathed, to go after the next one.

 

TreyRandom

Diamond Member
Jun 29, 2001
3,346
0
76
She may not be "ready to date"... but it sounds like she's "ready for a bunch of something else". ;)
 

SViper

Senior member
Feb 17, 2005
828
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76
Originally posted by: warpigeon
Originally posted by: ironwing
I'll bite.

What kinds of messages did she send, specifically?


Thanks for the interest: going to reply in brief

One night we went out to the city (sf) to meet friends, I pick her up. (Makes sense in a location sort of way.) She makes a point that she'll drive home if i drink too much (to her place). On the way home (I drove, didnt dink too much) she's interested in me and invites me up for water or whatever. I know I pussed out.

Next day calls me to pick her up at her friends and go watch ncaa at bar and then take care of dogs at friends house who were leaving that afternoon for tahoe (after the game). we walk dogs, get back to the house, she seems nervous, i puss out and leave (well her car was there), i didnt abandon her.

Last weekend at friends condo in sf she more or less gives me a lap dance (that I asked for). grinds me pretty good. i could tell she liked doing it.

Invited me to sub on her softball tonight (and now I'm on the team- christ!), we have drinks afterwards, get along well, I call her on my drive home. she alludes to messy breakup we talked about over drinks. shot down.

I think she might have gotten mixed signals from you also. You said you "pussed out" in your first two examples. Think about how you would feel if the same thing happened to you.
 

lytalbayre

Senior member
Apr 28, 2005
842
2
81
Sounds to me like she was giving you all the right signals the first three times you went out, and you shot-her down. She probably got the message you weren't interested. As to what her motives were, maybe they are rebound actions, or maybe she likes you but doesn't know how to express it so she is playing games (girls...).

Anyway, we don't know the whole story. If you really like her, I would say call her up and tell her that you thought everything was going fine, your feelings are sincere, you like hanging out with her, and you can take it slow... if you get shot down again, it's definately time to move on. I have a feeling though that if you're straight with her, you will get a positive response.

Life is too short to play games and to not go after what and who you want. Stop "pussin out" and step-up... if you can't do this, then you aren't ready.
 

Glavinsolo

Platinum Member
Sep 2, 2004
2,946
0
0
If you act like you have a girlfriend or if you go out with a friend that is a girl to any location doesn't matter where... Girls flock to you. What does he have that she is with him? If a girl thinks he is worthy of being her boyfriend and I'm single then I want him! This sh.t drives my fiancee nuts when we go to the supermarket etc. Girls automatically think its ok to flirt with a guy in a relationship.
 

ggnl

Diamond Member
Jul 2, 2004
5,095
1
0
Originally posted by: Shawn
Sounds like she just wants sex and you want a relationship.

Best case scenario...

Worst case scenario is that she just wants attention and he want's a relationship. Cuddlebitch ftl!
 

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
Originally posted by: warpigeon
Originally posted by: ironwing
I'll bite.

What kinds of messages did she send, specifically?


Thanks for the interest: going to reply in brief

One night we went out to the city (sf) to meet friends, I pick her up. (Makes sense in a location sort of way.) She makes a point that she'll drive home if i drink too much (to her place). On the way home (I drove, didnt dink too much) she's interested in me and invites me up for water or whatever. I know I pussed out.

Next day calls me to pick her up at her friends and go watch ncaa at bar and then take care of dogs at friends house who were leaving that afternoon for tahoe (after the game). we walk dogs, get back to the house, she seems nervous, i puss out and leave (well her car was there), i didnt abandon her.

Last weekend at friends condo in sf she more or less gives me a lap dance (that I asked for). grinds me pretty good. i could tell she liked doing it.

Invited me to sub on her softball tonight (and now I'm on the team- christ!), we have drinks afterwards, get along well, I call her on my drive home. she alludes to messy breakup we talked about over drinks. shot down.

I'll bite...

You should have made your move on the first "date". She invited you up for some action and you blew it.

She most likely lost interest in you because you wussed out.

You don't tell a girl you like her or any of that nonsense.