Corrupt A Wish

[CaptainKahuna]

This is a game that I played for a while at another board, and shamelessly stole. Note that reality is not a constraint.

For example:

The guy above me says "I wish for a box of girl scout cookies."
I say: "You get one. It appears ~1 km above you and accelerates at 9.8 meters per second per second. Ouch."

Another:

He says: "I wish that dinosaurs suddenly appered everywhere."
I say: "They do, but they are all barney the purple dinosaurs that drive you insane with incessant singing, dancing, and hugging."

Or:

He says: "I wish for an endless chocolate bar."
I say: "You get one. Unfortunately, excessive consumption of chocolate gives you the shits...and you can't stop eating it because its so tasty. Eventually your condition gets progressively worse and you begin to defeceate blood and bits of intestine...eventually you die from dehydration."

If you ruin a wish you must make one yourself. Have fun :evil:

I'll start:

I wish for a monkey.

 

[Platypus]

stop posting

 

[UglyCasanova]

What a stupid idea for a thread. Sorry, but damn. What were you thinking?!

 

[Platypus]

Originally posted by: UglyCasanova
Yo Quincy, whydontcha break out dat weeeed man!

WE NEED TO TALK - MOM.

 

[Gnurb]

The monkey eats you.

I wish for that blonde girl on the old navy ads to come over to my apt and get naked.

 

[Pepsi90919]

Originally posted by: CorporateRecreation

Originally posted by: UglyCasanova
Yo Quincy, whydontcha break out dat weeeed man!

WE NEED TO TALK - MOM.

[crossed out]

WE NEED TO TALK - GRANDMA

 

[TheLonelyPhoenix]

Originally posted by: Gnurb
I wish for that blonde girl on the old navy ads to come over to my apt and get naked.

She does so, then you see that her penis is twice the length of yours.

I wish the OP would STFU.

 

Originally posted by: Gnurb
The monkey eats you.

I wish for that blonde girl on the old navy ads to come over to my apt and get naked.

Unfortunately, she's contractually bound to sing annoying Christmas carols the whole time you're having wild sex.

I wish that my 9 page paper were finished already.

 

[Black88GTA]

Originally posted by: Gnurb
The monkey eats you.

I wish for that blonde girl on the old navy ads to come over to my apt and get naked.

She comes over, gets naked, but it turns out she has a pen!s. She has her way with you anyway. :Q

I wish I had a Lamborghini Murcielago.

**EDIT: Damn, beaten to it. :beer: TheLonelyPhoenix

 

[CaptainKahuna]

Originally posted by: TheLonelyPhoenix
I wish the OP would STFU.

I do, and you are denied the pleasure of my future posts.

I wish ATOT would lighten up.

 

[CaptainKahuna]

Originally posted by: Black88GTA
I wish I had a Lamborghini Murcielago.

You get one, but you coworkers become madly jealous, burn your car, and kill you.

I wish I had a sub sandwich.

 

[anxi80]

Originally posted by: Gnurb
The monkey eats you.

I wish for that blonde girl on the old navy ads to come over to my apt and get naked.

she shows up naked, but then you suddenly remember that they film these commercials months in advance and now she is extremely overweight causing you to go as limp as a wet noodle. the only way it can be brought back up is by her yelling 'haaaaaarrrrrrr'. while she is doing this you run into the other room to get your robe and wizard hat on. you then pour hot caramel over her head and make her look like a caramel apple. then you kick her in the face. there, now you're spent.

 

[CrackRabbit]

Originally posted by: CaptainKahuna

Originally posted by: Black88GTA
I wish I had a Lamborghini Murcielago.

You get one, but you coworkers become madly jealous, burn your car, and kill you.

I wish I had a sub sandwich.

Unfortuneatly the person who made it hasnt washed thier hands in 3 weeks and has a serious case of the runs.

I wish this thread would die.

 

[CaptainKahuna]

Originally posted by: anxi80

Originally posted by: Gnurb
The monkey eats you.

I wish for that blonde girl on the old navy ads to come over to my apt and get naked.

she shows up naked, but then you suddenly remember that they film these commercials months in advance and now she is extremely overweight causing you to go as limp as a wet noodle. the only way it can be brought back up is by her yelling 'haaaaaarrrrrrr'. while she is doing this you run into the other room to get your robe and wizard hat on. you then pour hot caramel over her head and make her look like a caramel apple. then you kick her in the face. there, now you're spent.

ROFLMAO

 

[CaptainKahuna]

Originally posted by: CrackRabbit
I wish this thread would die.

It does, but as soon as it does, you remember a really witty remark you could have made and wish the thread were not dead. However it is too late and you become depressed because you cannot share your comment.

 

[venk]

Originally posted by: CrackRabbit

Originally posted by: CaptainKahuna

Originally posted by: Black88GTA
I wish I had a Lamborghini Murcielago.

You get one, but you coworkers become madly jealous, burn your car, and kill you.

I wish I had a sub sandwich.

Unfortuneatly the person who made it hasnt washed thier hands in 3 weeks and has a serious case of the runs.

I wish this thread would die.

In Soviet Russia, Thread Kills You!


I wish my penis was exactly 11.2" long and 2" in diameter.

 

[Schrodinger]

Originally posted by: venk

Originally posted by: CrackRabbit

Originally posted by: CaptainKahuna

Originally posted by: Black88GTA
I wish I had a Lamborghini Murcielago.

You get one, but you coworkers become madly jealous, burn your car, and kill you.

I wish I had a sub sandwich.

Unfortuneatly the person who made it hasnt washed thier hands in 3 weeks and has a serious case of the runs.

I wish this thread would die.

In Soviet Russia, Thread Kills You!


I wish my penis was exactly 11.2" long and 2" in diameter.

Your wish is granted but you forever find it impossible to find a woman who will jump you and die a lonely virgin death.

 

[anxi80]

Originally posted by: venk
I wish my penis was exactly 11.2" long and 2" in diameter.

you develop a terrible smegma build-up that modern medicine cant even cure you of.

 

[badmouse]

[q I wish my penis was exactly 11.2" long and 2" in diameter.[/quote]
It is, but you are wrongfully sent to prison and your roommate's name is Bubba.

I wish I hadn't said that.