Quoted from the Congressional web site. Pretty messed up I think...
"Due to the increased need for dollars to support our government, we (The IRS) are implementing a new 'Butt Tax'. To see if you qualify for a refund, or need to pay your due amount, please look at the following scale...
Add the numbers up to see your 'Butt Tax' status
If you are single ----------------------- You can claim one butt
If you are married without kids --------- You can claim two butts
If you have one kid --------------------- You can claim above plus one more butt
If you have more than one kid ----------- Count their butts to arrive at a total
If you have a dog ----------------------- After it quits licking it, add one butt
If you are named 'Ralph' ---------------- Find your butt total and remove one
If you live in a trailer park ----------- You have -4318 butts
If you are named anything but (ha) Ralph -- You have 82 butts
Now, take your estimated butt number, and multiply it by seven. Divide the remainder by the number of fingers you have on your left hand, and add two. If you have a negative number, you owe $20. If you have a positive number, you owe that amount. If you have a number of butts that equal zero, you are qualified to receive $5,000!
For billing, please send the amount in Money Orders, Cashiers check, gold bullion, or Cash. Please omit payment to the following address by March 20th....
Monel Funkawitz, IRS butt tax director
C/O Chris Thomas
RD#2 Box 23
Pulaski, PA 16143"
Man, I got hit hard this year for butt tax
"Due to the increased need for dollars to support our government, we (The IRS) are implementing a new 'Butt Tax'. To see if you qualify for a refund, or need to pay your due amount, please look at the following scale...
Add the numbers up to see your 'Butt Tax' status
If you are single ----------------------- You can claim one butt
If you are married without kids --------- You can claim two butts
If you have one kid --------------------- You can claim above plus one more butt
If you have more than one kid ----------- Count their butts to arrive at a total
If you have a dog ----------------------- After it quits licking it, add one butt
If you are named 'Ralph' ---------------- Find your butt total and remove one
If you live in a trailer park ----------- You have -4318 butts
If you are named anything but (ha) Ralph -- You have 82 butts
Now, take your estimated butt number, and multiply it by seven. Divide the remainder by the number of fingers you have on your left hand, and add two. If you have a negative number, you owe $20. If you have a positive number, you owe that amount. If you have a number of butts that equal zero, you are qualified to receive $5,000!
For billing, please send the amount in Money Orders, Cashiers check, gold bullion, or Cash. Please omit payment to the following address by March 20th....
Monel Funkawitz, IRS butt tax director
C/O Chris Thomas
RD#2 Box 23
Pulaski, PA 16143"
Man, I got hit hard this year for butt tax
Facebook
Twitter