Coming Soon to Late Night . . . North Korea infomercial

BaliBabyDoc

Lifer
Jan 20, 2001
10,737
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Yahoo . . . NK wonder jewel kicks Q-ray derriere
SEOUL, South Korea - North Korea (news - web sites) claimed Friday that it has developed a wearable device that uses a "jewel" to convert the sun's rays into a photo-electromagnetic field to purify blood and heal a range of serious diseases.

The device, worn as a wristband or ring, was tested on more than 500 patients, the state-run Korean Central News Agency reported Friday.

Within hours, it cured 98.8 percent of the patients of a range of conditions, including blood clots in the brain, heart attacks, blocked arteries, the report said. It didn't elaborate.

"It is much better than medicinal therapy, dietary and exercise remedies," KCNA said.

The country remains the world's most isolated country. Its claims cannot be independently verified.

North Korea's communist government is cash-strapped and has been accused of resorting to selling narcotics and missiles to raise money. Alternative health remedies are believed to be popular in the country as health care is poor.




I guess I can retire now since there's nothing left for me to do.


 

glenn1

Lifer
Sep 6, 2000
25,383
1,013
126
I'm telling ya, that Kim Jong Il is a freakin' genius. The man is a combination of Einstein and MacGyver rolled into one. A jewel which cures blood ailments. Now that is one smart motherf***er to invent something like that.
 

BaliBabyDoc

Lifer
Jan 20, 2001
10,737
0
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I hope he has a good patent law firm (not to mention security features) . . . if not this bad boy will be on the Hong Kong street market by next week.
 

glenn1

Lifer
Sep 6, 2000
25,383
1,013
126
I hope he has a good patent law firm (not to mention security features) . . . if not this bad boy will be on the Hong Kong street market by next week.

I'm sure he does. Maybe ol' Jong il and Steven Jobs can make a deal... Jobs will market the jewel in the west under the Apple banner, and in turn will give fatboy lessons on how to fine-tune his RDF.
 

Dari

Lifer
Oct 25, 2002
17,134
38
91
Isn't this the same Kim Jong Il that has the largest library of Looney Tunes videos outside of AOL Time Warner?
 

jackschmittusa

Diamond Member
Apr 16, 2003
5,972
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Now this is an item that Bush and co. could probably market successfuly using techniques they are already familiar with.
 

BarneyFife

Diamond Member
Aug 12, 2001
3,875
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Originally posted by: Zrom999
I wonder how much that thing cost.

19.95 and if you call within an hour you'll get the home repair jewel that you can attach to your computer and it will fix it.
 

AnImuS

Senior member
Sep 28, 2001
939
0
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Originally posted by: Dari
Isn't this the same Kim Jong Il that has the largest library of Looney Tunes videos outside of AOL Time Warner?

ha! now thats funny if true

:D
 

sandorski

No Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
70,100
5,640
126
Originally posted by: Zrom999
I wonder how much that thing cost.

hehe, Barney beat me to it! He forgot to mention though that the first 500 callers get 2 more jewels for free!