Come in and share non-sequiturs

[kranky]

What is it about non-sequiturs that make me laugh? I suspect it's the childproof cap. Seeing as there's even an active Usenet group on the topic, there must be quite a few people who enjoy them.

For me, driving got things started, but the beaches caused the rest. I used to think it was words with a "k" in them because they are innately funny (like chicken and kook) but over time they morphed. Sometimes it's the jarring ending to what appears to be a familiar poem:

I shall be telling this with a sigh, somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less traveled by
And that was stupid as hell. Not a restaurant for miles.

Sometimes it is the attractive coloration that accompanies a party as confections whirl in the static. And yet, I must find respite from the inane functions of the Faversham in the adjacent cubicle.

Join me, won't you?

 

[nakedfrog]

That chicken was already stabbed when I got here. No doubt the work of tissue paper miners. They get cranky without their daily dose of dryer lint.

 

[nakedfrog]

I can tell by the orientation of your protractor that you're not a man to play gypsum board with. I'll dig straight to the conch shell then. It is true that although bananas may not appear sentient, their offspring can often be more sensitive to barnacles than the leading soft drink.

 

[Safeway]

The speaker is equatable to a watch. The tick of the clock creates frequencies that drive a tomato wild. Why, then, does the animal kingdom visit the great owl upside down?

 

[kranky]

Now that's knurling! The fruit focus is a concern, though.

The reference to time is reminiscent of a neighborhood organza in B minor, even without adding in the influence of technology. Ah, sweet Polysorbate 80! Your peptide complex soothes all that initiates recycling.

 

[venk]

This thread sucks. I must pee.

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: venk
This thread sucks. I must pee.

The pulchritude of this thread must surely be measured in Megajoules, for though a philistine may approximate the ubiquitousness of mulch-based footwear, the anterior ventricle of the seventh moon of Jupiter cares not a whit. Why, you don't ask?
Simple.
To exceed the tangential ouvre of a salival dripping, one must defenestrate all preconceived notions about irascible thoats. This has the outward effect of injecting salmon with the inner joy that can be obtained through retinal transsubstantiation.

 

[GasX]

It's the cans. They hate the cans!

 

[Horus]

See, I like to think I'm pretty smart. But I'm gonna go ahead and say that I have NO FVCKING CLUE what you weirdos are talking about.

 

[GasX]

Can I mambo dogface in the banana patch?

 

[blakeatwork]

Originally posted by: Horus
See, I like to think I'm pretty smart. But I'm gonna go ahead and say that I have NO FVCKING CLUE what you weirdos are talking about.

www.ctrlaltdelete-online.com

Look for the Chef Brian Strips...

 

[ProviaFan]

Unfortunately, so much time has been wasted that the pears must be harvested prematurely with dual Xeons and 600W over four channels. The flat lighting due to the overcast conditions today will require an extra 8 channels on the mixer, and we should be drilling the holes for the car by 4:00 P.M. to prepare for the installation of the X2. Extenuating circumstances and lack of batteries will require the horses to be developed for an extra 30 seconds in the first solution to reduce the range of the shoe's impact. Evidently, there has been a malfunction of the late warning system, but the antivirus software has cleared the layer of dust with no problems.

 

[chuckywang]

The sailors bring the apples to the computer have not placed the debts at ease. They tried and tried to dust the candles, but the beauty always increases. It hasn't happened for a thousand years, they say, but I can't see how it affects the way the books have aged. My gosh, don't they know right from left? Or light from brown? It goes to show that we can't always have the same attitude in the stock market that we have in water bottles. But, hey, at least the cat didn't step on the razor, right? RIGHT??

 

[JoLLyRoGer]

Originally posted by: Horus
See, I like to think I'm pretty smart. But I'm gonna go ahead and say that I have NO FVCKING CLUE what you weirdos are talking about.

Don't feel bad. I'm sure they will tell you this:
"If we have to explain, then you wouldn't understand"

It that about the sum of it folks? Cause I can damn sure say I don't get it either.. Furthermore, I doubt any of this mindless nonsense would make sense even if someone did try to explain it to me so please.... carry on.

Cheers!
JR

Originally posted by: chuckywang
The sailors bring the apples to the computer have not placed the debts at ease....

WTF is that supposed to mean??

 

[jman19]

Originally posted by: Horus
See, I like to think I'm pretty smart. But I'm gonna go ahead and say that I have NO FVCKING CLUE what you weirdos are talking about.

Well do you know what non-sequitur means, or how it is used to create humor?

 

[kranky]

I'm weeping with joy at some of the craftsmanship here. It reminds me very little of the time Grandpa Bonomo tuned his fiddle by using sound effects from the film "Shearing Yaks".

 

[Triumph]

Originally posted by: jman19

Originally posted by: Horus
See, I like to think I'm pretty smart. But I'm gonna go ahead and say that I have NO FVCKING CLUE what you weirdos are talking about.

Well do you know what non-sequitur means, or how it is used to create humor?

i don't.

 

[Ikonomi]

"Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown."

 

[nakedfrog]

I may play fast and loose with the idea of the non-sequitur, but that's only because the mime across the street doesn't eat oranges. He does eat giraffes, though. It's quite a sight to behold, like watching a coal miner composing a symphony using pennies.

 

[Mrvile]

My calculator catches on bees trying to destroy something to post for this thread. I try to pick it up but the lamp is ten and the pumpkins ripe, must head back foward to my cord on high calorie box. Thank you.

 

[GasX]

Originally posted by: blakeatwork

Originally posted by: Horus
See, I like to think I'm pretty smart. But I'm gonna go ahead and say that I have NO FVCKING CLUE what you weirdos are talking about.

www.ctrlaltdelete-online.com

Look for the Chef Brian Strips...

I wasted quite a bit of time reading their strips, but I did not come accross anything related to Chef Brian. Care to find and link?

Oh, and my dog's breath smels like dog food.

 

[Mrvile]

Originally posted by: Mwilding

Originally posted by: blakeatwork

Originally posted by: Horus
See, I like to think I'm pretty smart. But I'm gonna go ahead and say that I have NO FVCKING CLUE what you weirdos are talking about.

www.ctrlaltdelete-online.com

Look for the Chef Brian Strips...

I wasted quite a bit of time reading their strips, but I did not come accross anything related to Chef Brian. Care to find and link?

Oh, and my dog's breath smels like dog food.

Mm hmm nice try young lad.

 

[everman]

And now for something completely different:

"There once was a boy named Tim
Who's dad never taught him to swim.
He swam by the dock and sank like rock
and that was the end of Tim."

 

[cKGunslinger]

Realistically, the plum-colored bricks of confusion often become irrate when forced to face thier own natural limitations. Like sands in the gears of wormwood cellphones, so must I seek to become one of the chosen lords of cream corn foundations!

 

[GasX]

Originally posted by: Mrvile

Originally posted by: Mwilding

Originally posted by: blakeatwork

Originally posted by: Horus
See, I like to think I'm pretty smart. But I'm gonna go ahead and say that I have NO FVCKING CLUE what you weirdos are talking about.

www.ctrlaltdelete-online.com

Look for the Chef Brian Strips...

I wasted quite a bit of time reading their strips, but I did not come accross anything related to Chef Brian. Care to find and link?

Oh, and my dog's breath smels like dog food.

Mm hmm nice try young lad.

If I had a cat, my reference would be made accordingly. Besides, I have a cucumber in my pants.