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Colonoscopy Comments... Once again, truth beats out fiction. (Brought to you by Brutuskend)

B

Brutuskend

Lifer
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their Colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before?

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Oh boy! That was sphincterrific!"

5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

6. "You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."

7. "Any sign of the trapped miners Chief?"

8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"

11. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

12. "You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"

And the best one of them all...

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not up there.
 
Odd............I've had one done and the sedative used during mine, Versed, really takes away a lot of idle chatter from a person. Since the person having a colonoscopy is sedated, I tend to believe this is a case of an MD making "funnies". I've used Versed on patients and they really don't have that much "on the ball", mentally or verbally or physically, after the drug takes effect.
 
Originally posted by: rubix
you are not sedated unless they go in deep, which is not always necessary.
Click to expand...

and you know this how? How do they know they don't need to go in deep unless they go in deep? I've never heard of a colonoscopy done w/o a sedative.
 
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their Colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before?

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Oh boy! That was sphincterrific!"

5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

6. "You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."

7. "Any sign of the trapped miners Chief?"

8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"

11. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

12. "You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"

And the best one of them all...

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not up there.
Click to expand...

BTW, I've heard all of these but they weren't used when getting 'the finger'
 
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their Colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before?

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Oh boy! That was sphincterrific!"

5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

6. "You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."

7. "Any sign of the trapped miners Chief?"

8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"

11. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

12. "You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"

And the best one of them all...

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not up there.
Click to expand...

LMAO
 
I wasn't sedated for mine.

I do recall making a wisecrack about the television monitor and VCR (both turned off) positioned where the patient could see them. I asked if this was coming out on home video.

He apparently didn't grasp the sarcasm in my voice, because his response was, "oh, you should have told me before we started and I would have put a tape in the VCR!"
 
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