College students who are still single

[bignateyk]

Get yourself 4 or 5 pairs of stylish jeans and some polo shirts for starters. Puma style shoes are also a plus, especially coming into fall/winter. Turtlenecks and sweaters are also good. But yeah, if you know someone fashion inclined, take them shopping with you.

edit: but yeah, be prepared to spend some $$. I spent over $1000 getting stuff like egyptian wool sweaters, cologne, polos, etc...

 

[zerocool1]

here's my issue-
I'm a well dressed, not terribly bad looking guy, that's in shape. I'm not super awkward or anti-social.So how is it that my friends that are the complete opposite actually have girlfriends? Then they have the nerve to bug me about not having a gf, as if its some sort of problem or just assume that I'm gay. WTH I guess they're willing to put themselves out there, and I don't think I have the time for a relationship.

 

[ViviTheMage]

i dont have an issue and im not ugly!

woowoo

 

[PrinceofWands]

I have to counter all these shallow choice posters. You don't HAVE to go shallow to get girls, especially not if you want non-shallow girls. If you want girls that are into fashion and such, then that's fine. But I've probably only spent at most $100-200/yr on clothes in my entire life (and never worn anything 'fashionable'), and never had trouble finding people. Yeah, the materialists and social climbers weren't interested, but neither was I so it was a good deal for all.

I'm not saying don't try it, especially if you base your confidence on your appearance. A new wardrobe is great for those situations. I'm just saying you don't 'HAVE' to.

 

[JS80]

dude...you don't want a gf in college...

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: zerocool1
here's my issue-
I'm a well dressed, not terribly bad looking guy, that's in shape. I'm not super awkward or anti-social.So how is it that my friends that are the complete opposite actually have girlfriends? Then they have the nerve to bug me about not having a gf, as if its some sort of problem or just assume that I'm gay. WTH I guess they're willing to put themselves out there, and I don't think I have the time for a relationship.

r u hooking up? if you are getting some satisfaction then who cares if you have a gf.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: PrinceofWands
I have to counter all these shallow choice posters. You don't HAVE to go shallow to get girls, especially not if you want non-shallow girls. If you want girls that are into fashion and such, then that's fine. But I've probably only spent at most $100-200/yr on clothes in my entire life (and never worn anything 'fashionable'), and never had trouble finding people. Yeah, the materialists and social climbers weren't interested, but neither was I so it was a good deal for all.

I'm not saying don't try it, especially if you base your confidence on your appearance. A new wardrobe is great for those situations. I'm just saying you don't 'HAVE' to.

its college so I assume he just wants a hot piece of tail every now and again so he has to dress the part to land a hot piece of tail.

 

[Pepsei]

if you guys want, i can hook you up.

this takes a serious commitment if you want to change your life.

 

[MetalMat]

Its a numbers game. Just keep trying and eventually something will happen. Dont fear rejection.

 

[krunchykrome]

Originally posted by: UncleWai
Just want to talk about this topic with fellow loners around the world.

For me, I don't know if I am afraid of commiting into a relationship or I am just plain ugly, I just can't find a girl that I think can be my girlfriend.
I am really anti-norm and reserved. I don't use myspace/xanga/friendster. I don't go to church. I keep any acquaintances away from my IM list.
I've given myself a nice half a year break. During this time I just do very recluse thing such as working out, practising guitar, and studying to better myself.

Contrary to popular beliefs, I bet a lot of you single people are not ugly people myself included, but there's something that keeps us from getting into a relationship.
I personally think too much about the consequences . I am afraid of spending a lot of time and money with someone that might not be the one. I am afraid I will get dumped and get hurt. I am afraid I would come across another girl during another girl. And most importantly, I think I am looking for qualities in a girl that is not around my age range. I really like independent woman who is in the upper 20s range who has a sense of responsibility.

The dilemma for me is whether to continue a loner for another few years or should I give a try at the dating world this coming year.

Anyone shares my thinking and want to tell their story?

It's called game. Get some.

 

[CptObvious]

I felt the same way when I was in school, and let me tell you it doesn't really change after you get out and start working either. I'm still single but there's a few things I've observed about myself that may or may not apply to you. For one, I spend a lot of time alone trying to improve myself mentally and physically also. While that's important, I started spending too much time alone and began overanalyzing people and became standoffish.

If there's a type of woman you're looking for, you have to be at the social situations when they tend to be, and not make yourself invisible. I have a feeling for you and I, it's not going to be at a bar or club. I go there occasionally but not to try to meet a nice girl anymore. Even if you feel uncomfortable about it, you might want to join a church or community service program. I guess you're Asian like me, so you may want to look for a church with the same ethnicity and a decent-sized young adult group.

Finally, I think my expectations were too unrealistic. Not as to the type of women I was looking for (I'm attracted to down-to-earth and intelligent women, not necessarily lookers) but as to the type of relationship I was seeking. The women I'm seeking tend to want someone older with an established career. I'm only 26 and just started working less than a year ago. I think I still have about 5 years until I get close to there. In the meantime, I guess my plan is to just meet as many possible candidates as I can for the future

 

[shadow9d9]

Originally posted by: bignateyk

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim


IME many people will rationalize why they dont have dates and girlfriends until the cows come home but at the end of the day most are just lazy cowards and/or social rejects unfit for reproduction

++


I'll admit it. I spent four years in college without getting so much as laid. I was a complete loser. During those four years, I always told myself that it was my choice.

Starting about a year ago, I decided I needed to change. I put on 40 pounds of muscle, and re-worked my wardrobe. Believe it or not, women dont like scrawny geeks who wear cargo pants.

In the last year, ive been out with dozens of women, and for the last two months, ive been dating a VERY attractive girl (shes 23 and is a teacher).

Its all about confidence. If you lack confidence in yourself, forget about it.

Sorry, but spending money on clothing just shows that you and the people you are dating are superficial. And while muscles are nice, they have pretty much no bearing on finding a quality woman to date. It is again something superficial.

I am 24 and have been married for over 2 years to a girl I met in college... and I had long relationships before her. I am not muscular. My entire wardrobe pretty much consists of jeans, khakis, and Phish/otherbands/sci-fi shirts. All that stuff is superficial. If they only become interested in your because of your clothing or muscles and you need those to attract women, you are either going about things completely wrong or you have a lame personality.

Additionally, "going out with dozens of women" isn't anything to brag about. Anyone could casually date. Finding someone worthy of being serious with is something to be proud of.

Advice would be to work on your personality. Work on being open, personable, enjoyable to be around, upbeat, interesting, etc. Be social and try to be friendly with everyone you come accross. College is the best time to meet people. Look at things completely different. You have nothign to lose in college. You will likely not see 99% of the peopel there again. If you meet someone and act foolishly, you could learn from your mistakes and move on with no harm done. Use this to your advantage.

P.S. I have never had a drink in my life, and outside of a few visits to bars to play darts/socialize with friends, I do not go to bars. Point being, you are surrounded by so many people in college that: college is the time/chance of your lifetime to meet people!

 

[bignateyk]

Originally posted by: shadow9d9

Originally posted by: bignateyk

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim


IME many people will rationalize why they dont have dates and girlfriends until the cows come home but at the end of the day most are just lazy cowards and/or social rejects unfit for reproduction

++


I'll admit it. I spent four years in college without getting so much as laid. I was a complete loser. During those four years, I always told myself that it was my choice.

Starting about a year ago, I decided I needed to change. I put on 40 pounds of muscle, and re-worked my wardrobe. Believe it or not, women dont like scrawny geeks who wear cargo pants.

In the last year, ive been out with dozens of women, and for the last two months, ive been dating a VERY attractive girl (shes 23 and is a teacher).

Its all about confidence. If you lack confidence in yourself, forget about it.

Sorry, but spending money on clothing just shows that you and the people you are dating are superficial. And while muscles are nice, they have pretty much no bearing on finding a quality woman to date. It is again something superficial.

I am 24 and have been married for over 2 years to a girl I met in college... and I had long relationships before her. I am not muscular. My entire wardrobe pretty much consists of jeans, khakis, and Phish/otherbands/sci-fi shirts. All that stuff is superficial. If they only become interested in your because of your clothing or muscles and you need those to attract women, you are either going about things completely wrong or you have a lame personality.

Additionally, "going out with dozens of women" isn't anything to brag about. Anyone could casually date. Finding someone worthy of being serious with is something to be proud of.

Advice would be to work on your personality. Work on being open, personable, enjoyable to be around, upbeat, interesting, etc. Be social and try to be friendly with everyone you come accross. College is the best time to meet people. Look at things completely different. You have nothign to lose in college. You will likely not see 99% of the peopel there again. If you meet someone and act foolishly, you could learn from your mistakes and move on with no harm done. Use this to your advantage.

P.S. I have never had a drink in my life, and outside of a few visits to bars to play darts/socialize with friends, I do not go to bars. Point being, you are surrounded by so many people in college that: college is the time/chance of your lifetime to meet people!

My point is that most people here HAVE the personality. They just lack the self confidence. For me, getting in shape and looking good was for my OWN confidence. Not to attract shallow women.

I disagree with your statement about casual dating as well. Many even lack the confidence to get simple dates, which is a necessary starting point to finding a meaningful relationship.

 

[shadow9d9]

Originally posted by: bignateyk

Originally posted by: shadow9d9

Originally posted by: bignateyk

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim


IME many people will rationalize why they dont have dates and girlfriends until the cows come home but at the end of the day most are just lazy cowards and/or social rejects unfit for reproduction

++


I'll admit it. I spent four years in college without getting so much as laid. I was a complete loser. During those four years, I always told myself that it was my choice.

Starting about a year ago, I decided I needed to change. I put on 40 pounds of muscle, and re-worked my wardrobe. Believe it or not, women dont like scrawny geeks who wear cargo pants.

In the last year, ive been out with dozens of women, and for the last two months, ive been dating a VERY attractive girl (shes 23 and is a teacher).

Its all about confidence. If you lack confidence in yourself, forget about it.

Sorry, but spending money on clothing just shows that you and the people you are dating are superficial. And while muscles are nice, they have pretty much no bearing on finding a quality woman to date. It is again something superficial.

I am 24 and have been married for over 2 years to a girl I met in college... and I had long relationships before her. I am not muscular. My entire wardrobe pretty much consists of jeans, khakis, and Phish/otherbands/sci-fi shirts. All that stuff is superficial. If they only become interested in your because of your clothing or muscles and you need those to attract women, you are either going about things completely wrong or you have a lame personality.

Additionally, "going out with dozens of women" isn't anything to brag about. Anyone could casually date. Finding someone worthy of being serious with is something to be proud of.

Advice would be to work on your personality. Work on being open, personable, enjoyable to be around, upbeat, interesting, etc. Be social and try to be friendly with everyone you come accross. College is the best time to meet people. Look at things completely different. You have nothign to lose in college. You will likely not see 99% of the peopel there again. If you meet someone and act foolishly, you could learn from your mistakes and move on with no harm done. Use this to your advantage.

P.S. I have never had a drink in my life, and outside of a few visits to bars to play darts/socialize with friends, I do not go to bars. Point being, you are surrounded by so many people in college that: college is the time/chance of your lifetime to meet people!

My point is that most people here HAVE the personality. They just lack the self confidence. For me, getting in shape and looking good was for my OWN confidence. Not to attract shallow women.

I disagree with your statement about casual dating as well. Many even lack the confidence to get simple dates, which is a necessary starting point to finding a meaningful relationship.

Maybe and maybe not. I guess it all depends on the person. Be careful about assuming that most people here have personality. Forums do not equal real life. It takes a lot to have a good personality in real life, and unfortunately most people do NOT have a good personality. Most people are miserable people.

And your comment "Believe it or not, women dont like scrawny geeks who wear cargo pants. " did not imply you were doing it for your own self confidence. Additionally, it is not true. There is nothing wrong with "geeks" in "cargo pants." That is all superficial garbage.

 

[blackangst1]

IMHO at this point in your life you shouldnt be looking for a serious relationship. You need to be getting laid as much as possible with the least amount of money. This may sound shallow but you will develop valuable skills when it finally comes time to commit.

Youre too freakin young to be in a relationship.

 

[shadow9d9]

Originally posted by: blackangst1
IMHO at this point in your life you shouldnt be looking for a serious relationship. You need to be getting laid as much as possible with the least amount of money. This may sound shallow but you will develop valuable skills when it finally comes time to commit.

Youre too freakin young to be in a relationship.

Keep in mind, his post is coming from a bona-fide kiddie. He should know what is important for you. Follow his advice! No one should be in a long term relationship if some punk with anger issues like blackangst cannot find someone! :thumbsup:

It is actually pretty funny. The fools with that attitude in college are the same ones all alone the following years! Yeah, don't use the 1000s of people surrounding you in college to find one right for you. Wait until you are working for a living and exposed to only a handful.

 

[magomago]

I don't think getting into a relationship is the best thing in College. You should relax, meet as many people as possible and make friends. Just try to meet as many girls as possible but keep any relationship platonic for now. Ultimately you will slowly find out the personality that you are interested in, and the type of person you want to find later on.

I agree that you do need more confidence...but at the same time it is apparant that you are interested in something SERIOUS~ and in college most people aren't looking for a serious relationship until they are atleast getting near done to graduating (or so I've seen). Don't sell yourself and your emotions short for "quick thrills" if you really are interested in caring for a person for the long term. Having a GF or getting into a relationship is not just about sex, although people regretfully see it as such

 

[shadow9d9]

Originally posted by: magomago
I don't think getting into a relationship is the best thing in College. You should relax, meet as many people as possible and make friends. Just try to meet as many girls as possible but keep any relationship platonic for now. Ultimately you will slowly find out the personality that you are interested in, and the type of person you want to find later on.

I agree that you do need more confidence...but at the same time it is apparant that you are interested in something SERIOUS~ and in college most people aren't looking for a serious relationship until they are atleast getting near done to graduating (or so I've seen). Don't sell yourself and your emotions short for "quick thrills" if you really are interested in caring for a person for the long term. Having a GF or getting into a relationship is not just about sex, although people regretfully see it as such

"Ultimately you will slowly find out the personality that you are interested in, and the type of person you want to find later on."

Umm, isn't that done in high school? Were you not exposed to girls there or something?

 

[bignateyk]

Originally posted by: shadow9d9


And your comment "Believe it or not, women dont like scrawny geeks who wear cargo pants. " did not imply you were doing it for your own self confidence. Additionally, it is not true. There is nothing wrong with "geeks" in "cargo pants." That is all superficial garbage.

I never said there is anything wrong with geeks in cargo pants. I just implied that its not going to get you laid. As superficial as it may seem, almost all women DO care about fashion and looks whether they say so or not. Just because someone cares about looks doesnt mean they are superficial. I'm certainly not willing to date a 200lb girl with no fashion sense. I dont think thats superficial at all. There has to be SOME physical attraction in a relationship, in both directions.

Additionally, having a good fashion sense will help you in plenty of other areas of your life, especially in business environments. It just opens doors that wouldnt have been there. Obviously not ideal, but thats life.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: bignateyk

Originally posted by: shadow9d9


And your comment "Believe it or not, women dont like scrawny geeks who wear cargo pants. " did not imply you were doing it for your own self confidence. Additionally, it is not true. There is nothing wrong with "geeks" in "cargo pants." That is all superficial garbage.

I never said there is anything wrong with geeks in cargo pants. I just implied that its not going to get you laid. As superficial as it may seem, almost all women DO care about fashion and looks whether they say so or not. Just because someone cares about looks doesnt mean they are superficial. I'm certainly not willing to date a 200lb girl with no fashion sense. I dont think thats superficial at all. There has to be SOME physical attraction in a relationship, in both directions.

Additionally, having a good fashion sense will help you in plenty of other areas of your life, especially in business environments. It just opens doors that wouldnt have been there. Obviously not ideal, but thats life.

A white tshirt and jeans is fashionable if you can pull it off.
But yeah, dressing nice occassionally is good.

 

[shadow9d9]

Originally posted by: bignateyk

Originally posted by: shadow9d9


And your comment "Believe it or not, women dont like scrawny geeks who wear cargo pants. " did not imply you were doing it for your own self confidence. Additionally, it is not true. There is nothing wrong with "geeks" in "cargo pants." That is all superficial garbage.

I never said there is anything wrong with geeks in cargo pants. I just implied that its not going to get you laid. As superficial as it may seem, almost all women DO care about fashion and looks whether they say so or not. Just because someone cares about looks doesnt mean they are superficial. I'm certainly not willing to date a 200lb girl with no fashion sense. I dont think thats superficial at all. There has to be SOME physical attraction in a relationship, in both directions.

Additionally, having a good fashion sense will help you in plenty of other areas of your life, especially in business environments. It just opens doors that wouldnt have been there. Obviously not ideal, but thats life.

Yeah, except it isn't true. Maybe on tv shows and in movies it is true. None of my friends in highschool/college dressed with anything special and they/I had/have some pretty hot girlfriends. Sorry, but the only women that would look down on men wearing jeans/khakis are superficial fools. A majority of women care 1000x more about the guys' personalities than the fact that the guy might be wearing jeans. This is ESPECIALLY THE CASE IN COLLEGE, where most people are struggling for money.

Perpetuating false stereotypes isn't going to help anyone. It may make you feel better, but that's about it.

The 200 pound girl comment is so preposterous I cannot even bring myself to respond to it.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: shadow9d9

Originally posted by: blackangst1
IMHO at this point in your life you shouldnt be looking for a serious relationship. You need to be getting laid as much as possible with the least amount of money. This may sound shallow but you will develop valuable skills when it finally comes time to commit.

Youre too freakin young to be in a relationship.

Keep in mind, his post is coming from a bona-fide kiddie. He should know what is important for you. Follow his advice! No one should be in a long term relationship if some punk with anger issues like blackangst cannot find someone! :thumbsup:

It is actually pretty funny. The fools with that attitude in college are the same ones all alone the following years! Yeah, don't use the 1000s of people surrounding you in college to find one right for you. Wait until you are working for a living and exposed to only a handful.

:roll:

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: shadow9d9

Originally posted by: magomago
I don't think getting into a relationship is the best thing in College. You should relax, meet as many people as possible and make friends. Just try to meet as many girls as possible but keep any relationship platonic for now. Ultimately you will slowly find out the personality that you are interested in, and the type of person you want to find later on.

I agree that you do need more confidence...but at the same time it is apparant that you are interested in something SERIOUS~ and in college most people aren't looking for a serious relationship until they are atleast getting near done to graduating (or so I've seen). Don't sell yourself and your emotions short for "quick thrills" if you really are interested in caring for a person for the long term. Having a GF or getting into a relationship is not just about sex, although people regretfully see it as such

"Ultimately you will slowly find out the personality that you are interested in, and the type of person you want to find later on."

Umm, isn't that done in high school? Were you not exposed to girls there or something?

:roll:

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: shadow9d9


Yeah, except it isn't true. Maybe on tv shows and in movies it is true. None of my friends in highschool/college dressed with anything special and they/I had/have some pretty hot girlfriends. Sorry, but the only women that would look down on men wearing jeans/khakis are superficial fools. A majority of women care 1000x more about the guys' personalities than the fact that the guy might be wearing jeans. This is ESPECIALLY THE CASE IN COLLEGE, where most people are struggling for money.

Perpetuating false stereotypes isn't going to help anyone. It may make you feel better, but that's about it.

The 200 pound girl comment is so preposterous I cannot even bring myself to respond to it.

wtf fantasy land do you exist in? sseriously you are so off base its preposterous!

 

[Reckoner]

Flash some cash, that's what the majority of women care about anyways