JDub02
Diamond Member
this past weekend, after much nagging from the wife, i decided i would be a good husband and wash and detail her car. i proceeded to gather the necessary supplies from the garage. hose - check, nozzle - check, car wash - check, wheel cleaner - check, bucket and wash mitt - ........ i pick up the bucket and wash mitt from the garage floor, to finish up gathering my supplies. i take the mitt out of the bucket and see this brown arachnid, maybe a little bigger than a silver dollar, staring back at me.
for a little back story, i hate spiders. i think it all stems from my childhood when my dad decided he would "help" me overcome my dislike of the critters by asking me to hold something for him and then giving me a handful of dead spiders he found while cleaning out a storage area in our house. i had an impulse reaction and threw the spiders across the room. i hate spiders.
so back to the present. there's me, a bucket, and a brown spider staring back at me. this is an unfamiliar spider to me and, in that second, my brain is scanning my memory trying to decide what it is. all of a sudden it locks in on pictures i've seen on the intarwebs of the brown "if it bites you, your flesh falls off your bones" recluse spider.
i set the bucket back down and consider my options ... shotgun? effective, but i doubt my neighbors would appreciate it and i don't want to patch a hole in the driveway. gasoline + fire? also effective, but the bucket is plastic and i rather like it. knock it out of the bucket then squish? hmm, what if the ah heck can run fast? and i'm wearing flip flops. what if it bites my toe? scratch that one, too. aha! there's Raid under the sink! i run into the house, grab the Raid, and silently and swiftly approach the enemy position. he's right where i left him, oblivious to his looming death.
so i hit him with a shot of Raid. what's this? he shrugs it off as a minor disturbance. this guy is tough. he did, after all, manage to get past my rather hefty layer of Home Defense bug spray that I put down a few weeks before.
so i hit him with another shot ... this one much longer ... i must have looked crazy as i shot about a 10 second blast of bug killer into the bucket.
again, nothing ... a few seconds pass as i contemplate this nearly invincible spider.
then, suddenly, the once fluid leg motion becomes jerky. the movement in the bucket turns almost spasmic. and then the legs curl up .... tango down. jdub has a confirmed kill.
i then proceed to tell my wife how i saved her from nearly certain death from a spider as big as a golf...no, baseba.....no SOFTBALL!! IT WAS HUGE, i tell her. might have even swallowed the dog whole. i swoop in for my reward as her knight in shining armor. jdub, the spider slayer!
she smacks me, tells me i smell like bug spray and to get back outside and finish washing the car. 😕
women. :roll:
for a little back story, i hate spiders. i think it all stems from my childhood when my dad decided he would "help" me overcome my dislike of the critters by asking me to hold something for him and then giving me a handful of dead spiders he found while cleaning out a storage area in our house. i had an impulse reaction and threw the spiders across the room. i hate spiders.
so back to the present. there's me, a bucket, and a brown spider staring back at me. this is an unfamiliar spider to me and, in that second, my brain is scanning my memory trying to decide what it is. all of a sudden it locks in on pictures i've seen on the intarwebs of the brown "if it bites you, your flesh falls off your bones" recluse spider.
i set the bucket back down and consider my options ... shotgun? effective, but i doubt my neighbors would appreciate it and i don't want to patch a hole in the driveway. gasoline + fire? also effective, but the bucket is plastic and i rather like it. knock it out of the bucket then squish? hmm, what if the ah heck can run fast? and i'm wearing flip flops. what if it bites my toe? scratch that one, too. aha! there's Raid under the sink! i run into the house, grab the Raid, and silently and swiftly approach the enemy position. he's right where i left him, oblivious to his looming death.
so i hit him with a shot of Raid. what's this? he shrugs it off as a minor disturbance. this guy is tough. he did, after all, manage to get past my rather hefty layer of Home Defense bug spray that I put down a few weeks before.
so i hit him with another shot ... this one much longer ... i must have looked crazy as i shot about a 10 second blast of bug killer into the bucket.
again, nothing ... a few seconds pass as i contemplate this nearly invincible spider.
then, suddenly, the once fluid leg motion becomes jerky. the movement in the bucket turns almost spasmic. and then the legs curl up .... tango down. jdub has a confirmed kill.
i then proceed to tell my wife how i saved her from nearly certain death from a spider as big as a golf...no, baseba.....no SOFTBALL!! IT WAS HUGE, i tell her. might have even swallowed the dog whole. i swoop in for my reward as her knight in shining armor. jdub, the spider slayer!
she smacks me, tells me i smell like bug spray and to get back outside and finish washing the car. 😕
women. :roll:
