Cleansing the vermin of the Internet

[EyeMWing]

A friend and I were just discussing how fricking stupid people who don't patch Windows even when prompted to do so by the auto updater or system administrator. The conversation naturally turned to 'how the heck can we get rid of these idiots?'

We were able to come up with one bulletproof theory (ignoring the legal ramifications of course) - BIOS killing virii. Many new motherboards, and likely soon prefabs can be BIOS flashed from within Windows. Pick a few Windows security holes that were patched up months ago, code a virus that spreads through them, checks the version of Windows to make sure that it's either WinXP, 2k3 or 2k SP4 (As these are the ones with auto-update) and then attempts to flash some crap to the BIOS using the mechanisms of a few major manufacturers.

Kind of frightening, eh? Hopefully the only people with that kind of skill know better.

Other ideas for cleansing the idiocy from the Internet (Or at least starting to chip away at it)

- And yes, I know "STOP POSTING". I'll get around to it, eventually. I promise.

 

[Avatar26]

Brilliant. Have you ever thought about running for office?

 

[Anubis]

killing all thoes that use AOL will help also

 

[DainBramaged]

He might be able to help

 

[Siddhartha]

Originally posted by: EyeMWing
A friend and I were just discussing how fricking stupid people who don't patch Windows even when prompted to do so by the auto updater or system administrator. The conversation naturally turned to 'how the heck can we get rid of these idiots?'

We were able to come up with one bulletproof theory (ignoring the legal ramifications of course) - BIOS killing virii. Many new motherboards, and likely soon prefabs can be BIOS flashed from within Windows. Pick a few Windows security holes that were patched up months ago, code a virus that spreads through them, checks the version of Windows to make sure that it's either WinXP, 2k3 or 2k SP4 (As these are the ones with auto-update) and then attempts to flash some crap to the BIOS using the mechanisms of a few major manufacturers.

Kind of frightening, eh? Hopefully the only people with that kind of skill know better.

Other ideas for cleansing the idiocy from the Internet (Or at least starting to chip away at it)

- And yes, I know "STOP POSTING". I'll get around to it, eventually. I promise.

Are you older than 12 years old?

 

[Ameesh]

terrorist.

 

[iwearnosox]

So after battling cancer in the hospital for a couple of months I come home, turn on my computer to tell others of my miraculous recovery and get hit with your "retarded justice."

Dumbest idea, ever.

 

[amcdonald]

Originally posted by: Dr Smooth

Originally posted by: EyeMWing
A friend and I were just discussing how fricking stupid people who don't patch Windows even when prompted to do so by the auto updater or system administrator. The conversation naturally turned to 'how the heck can we get rid of these idiots?'

We were able to come up with one bulletproof theory (ignoring the legal ramifications of course) - BIOS killing virii. Many new motherboards, and likely soon prefabs can be BIOS flashed from within Windows. Pick a few Windows security holes that were patched up months ago, code a virus that spreads through them, checks the version of Windows to make sure that it's either WinXP, 2k3 or 2k SP4 (As these are the ones with auto-update) and then attempts to flash some crap to the BIOS using the mechanisms of a few major manufacturers.

Kind of frightening, eh? Hopefully the only people with that kind of skill know better.

Other ideas for cleansing the idiocy from the Internet (Or at least starting to chip away at it)

- And yes, I know "STOP POSTING". I'll get around to it, eventually. I promise.

Are you older than 12 years old?

Seriously... I hope the answer is no.

 

[DainBramaged]

Originally posted by: iwearnosox
So after battling cancer in the hospital for a couple of months I come home, turn on my computer to tell others of my miraculous recovery and get hit with your "retarded justice."

Dumbest idea, ever.

Yes.

 

[MacBaine]

Why go through all that hassle just to kill yourself?

 

[MacBaine]

- And yes, I know "KILL YOURSELF". I'll get around to it, eventually. I promise.

 

[PowerMac4Ever]

Originally posted by: EyeMWing
A friend and I were just discussing how fricking awesome it would be if they made computers that would kill the users. Then, I should buy the only one!

Hey, I totally agree!

 

[FeathersMcGraw]

Or, you could just write a worm which uses the exploit, installs the appropriate patch, and then goes away.

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: iwearnosox
So after battling cancer in the hospital for a couple of months I come home, turn on my computer to tell others of my miraculous recovery and get hit with your "retarded justice."

Dumbest idea, ever.

The virus must propagate to succeed - which takes time - several days would be a good start for being inconspicuous and low profile. Perhaps monitor for connections to Windows update during that time?

 

[Geekbabe]

I'd say even contemplating ruining other people's computers makes you the vermin of the internet.

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: FeathersMcGraw
Or, you could just write a worm which uses the exploit, installs the appropriate patch, and then goes away.

Not very feasible due to the amount of data that needs to be transmitted. A flash ROM writer could be made to be very low profile, while many major patches are rather large.

That, and nobody learns anything.

 

[Maleficus]

Originally posted by: FeathersMcGraw
Or, you could just write a worm which uses the exploit, installs the appropriate patch, and then goes away.

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: DainBramaged

Originally posted by: iwearnosox
So after battling cancer in the hospital for a couple of months I come home, turn on my computer to tell others of my miraculous recovery and get hit with your "retarded justice."

Dumbest idea, ever.

Yes.

No. The dumbest is that guy who says there's no such thing as an Athiest. This, however, qualifies for a close second.

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I'd say even contemplating ruining other people's computers makes you the vermin of the internet.

Or someone that's fscking tired of doing tech support for computers infected with everything known to mankind running SP0 with no patches. If people would learn to fvcking click "YES" this wouldn't be a problem.

 

[BooGiMaN]

what exactly makes you any better than people that dont patch their OS...all we need is for other professions to catch on to your novel idea....

well mr. eyewing...you did not change the oil in your car at exactly 3000 miles so i have taken it upon myself to make it so your car ceases to run in a week....permanently..so get your affairs in order....you have a week.

well mr. eyewing...you did not adhere to the diet i set for you so as your doctor i have injected a poison into your body to kill you within a week ..so get your affairs in order and bid your family and freinds a heart farewell.

Just because you and i are tech saavy does not mean everyone else is or should be....

 

[FeathersMcGraw]

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Or, you could just write a worm which uses the exploit, installs the appropriate patch, and then goes away.

Not very feasible due to the amount of data that needs to be transmitted. A flash ROM writer could be made to be very low profile, while many major patches are rather large.

That, and nobody learns anything.

Except self-propagating fixes mean there are less access points for hackers to exploit in the future, which makes the Internet as a whole better and doesn't destroy anyone's hardware in the process.

But I guess that doesn't really give you the same smug holier-than-thou satisfaction.

 

[MacBaine]

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I'd say even contemplating ruining other people's computers makes you the vermin of the internet.

Or someone that's fscking tired of doing tech support for computers infected with everything known to mankind running SP0 with no patches. If people would learn to fvcking click "YES" this wouldn't be a problem.

It's... NICK BURNS... Your company's computer guy!

Why don't you just go to Canada where they don't have stupid people?

 

[ViRGE]

Read up on CIH, EyeMWing; it wasn't an "anti-retard" device like what you're proposing, but it could try to flash the BIOS, and this was half a decade ago.

 

[hjo3]

Pointy-haired Boss: We're going to start marketing antivirus software. What does that tell you?
Catbert: That you're already working on viruses that only your software will be able to eliminate?
Pointy-haired Boss: You're spooky.

 

[BillGates]

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I'd say even contemplating ruining other people's computers makes you the vermin of the internet.

Or someone that's fscking tired of doing tech support for computers infected with everything known to mankind running SP0 with no patches. If people would learn to fvcking click "YES" this wouldn't be a problem.

They know how to click Yes to all of the spyware installers that pop up on the moronic sites they visit. I will donate money to this cause.