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THE WIS-DUMB OF YOGI
Lawrence Peter "Yogi" Berra was born on May 12, 1925 in St. Louis, Mo. and grew up on Elizabeth Street in a neighborhood called "The Hill". Yogi went on to become a Fifteen-time All Star, winning the AL MVP three times, in 1951, 54 and 55. He played in 14 World Series and holds numerous World Series records including most games by a catcher (63), hits (71), and times on a winning team (10), first in at bats, first in doubles, second in RBI's, third in home runs and BOB's. Yogi also hit the first pinch hit home run in World Series history in 1947. Yogi was elected the the National Baseball Hall of Fame in 1972.
But he's really best known for saying things like this:
"Surprise me."
- on where his wife should have him buried.
"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."
"If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else."
"If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."
"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."
"Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."
"Do you mean now?"
- when asked for the time.
"If you come to a fork in the road, take it."
"I made a wrong mistake."
THE IMMORTAL BILL PETERSON
From 1960-1979, "Coach Pete" Bill Peterson coached football at Florida State. His teams compiled a record of 62-42-11, and a winning percentage of .587. In the process, "Coach Pete" also became one of the greatest characters in American sports:
"I'm the football coach around here and don't you remember it."
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
"I used to have this slight speech implement and couldn't remember things before I took the Sam Carnegie course."
"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
"Just remember the words of Patrick Henry - 'Kill me or let me live.'"
"The greatest thing just happened to me. I just got indicted into the Florida Sports Hall of Fame. They had a standing observation for me."
FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY, STING LIKE A BEE, BUT PLEASE KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT MUHAMMAD ALI.
"What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips."
-Muhammad Ali, at the premiere party for the biographical movie "Ali," before a crowd of politicians and Hollywood figures at the Cafe Milano in Washington, D.C.
"No, no, no, don't..."
-Ali's wife, Lonnie, pleading for him not to tell the next joke.
"A black, a Puerto Rican and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The police."
-Muhammad Ali's next joke.
"Unfortunate, given the champ's long-standing commitment to causes of multiculturalism."
- The Anti-Defamation League in a statement expressing "disappointment" at the remarks Ali made (according to the Washington Post).
TYSON MEAT-HEAD
"[He] called me a 'rapist' and a 'recluse'. I'm not a recluse."
-Mike Tyson, on writer Wallace Matthews
"I am many things. I am an animal. I am a convicted rapist, a hell-raiser, a loving father, a semi-good husband. You don't really know me."
-Mike Tyson at a news conference where he cursed, jumped on a table, stripped off his shirt, complained about medication hurting his sex life and threatened to put "a (expletive) bullet" through the head of Lennox Lewis.
"I have some pain I'm gonna have for the rest of my life. So every now and then I kick your fucking ass"
"I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."
"If I take this camera and put it in your face for 20 years, I don't know what you might be. You might be a homosexual if I put that camera on you since you were 13 years old. I've been on that camera since I was 13 years old."
"I am the most ruthless, brutal champion ever. There is no one who can match me. I want your heart. I want to eat your children."
- Mike Tyson. (I guess ears just weren't filling enough...)
"I am not sweating it at all."
-Mike Tyson, on allegations that he raped a 50-year-old woman at a rented house in Big Bear City, 70 miles east of Los Angeles, where he was training. (Source: KTVK-TV in Phoenix)
"I'm just a dark guy from a den of iniquity. A dark shadowy figure from the bowels of iniquity"
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