Church people parking in my yard.

[JDawg1536]

What church is it?

 

[chubbyfatazn]

Smear glue on their windshields

forums.anandtech.com/showthread.php?t=9728

 

[SolMiester]

There are no curbs in my neighborhood. The Church people next door are constantly having some "events" and filling up the road. Their "guests" typically like to park in front of my house, half in the road, half in my yard. Well, several years of this has made a big rut in the yard. So, next week I have made some time to go get fill dirt, and sod, to fix the damage. How can I keep these people from doing this? Trust me - they cannot be reasoned with, any attempt - no matter how nice, to ask them to stop will result in attidude and finger snapping.

Put some sticks in the ground and police tape or something connecting them, surely they arent that stupid!

 

[master_shake_]

landmines are effective but terribly lethal...

perhaps a rotating gun turret?

 

[DrPizza]

If there is damage to your lawn due to people parking there, why not talk to the pastor of the church about it? "It's going to cost me $xxx for fill, seed, not to mention my time, as a result of your parishioners illegally parking on my lawn. Any chance you could see to it that they stop parking on the lawns? I'd hate to spend this time and money, just to have the lawn damaged again.

<--- I would prefer to try to be as civil about it as possible... at first.


If that doesn't succeed, then some sort of passive-aggressive assholish move while they are parked there.

 

[DrPizza]

I think big rocks is the clear winner for ease of installation and sureness of results. They should be at least 2.5 to 3 feet tall, that will make them about bumper height and too heavy to move.

They don't have to be anywhere near that height. Just fairly heavy, say, 250 pounds. Don't just roll them into place - dig a hole about 6" deep for them to roll into. Once in the hole, you're not rolling them out of there; and you're not lifting them up, since you can't get your hands underneath. Remember to do this *while* the cars are parked there, to help you identify the proper spacing for such rocks: 1 car length.

Oh, and OP, before you do *anything*, you might want to call the number on here for clarification as to whether they're allowed to park on "your" lawn. Sometimes the right of way on paved roads includes enough room on the edge of the road to count as the "shoulder" of the road. I doubt this is the case in your situation, but you never know.

 

[Ruptga]

They don't have to be anywhere near that height. Just fairly heavy, say, 250 pounds. Don't just roll them into place - dig a hole about 6" deep for them to roll into. Once in the hole, you're not rolling them out of there; and you're not lifting them up, since you can't get your hands underneath. Remember to do this *while* the cars are parked there, to help you identify the proper spacing for such rocks: 1 car length.

That's true, but I figure he could make them somewhat decorative too, not just stone posts in the ground. How big would a 250lb stone would be? I probably underestimated their density.

 

[MongGrel]

This is what I was going to post put up a sign or two. Put flyers under their wipers stating not to park there. After a couple weeks of this, start having them towed.

I would put up "NO PARKING" signs and have the tow company number ready.

"no parking, violators will be towed."

and have a tow company ready to call (or the cops)

Yep like I said earlier.

Do that a few times you'd probably be surprised how fast no one will park anywhere near you're property, once they come out with their cars gone and the towing bills come in.

A few signs are cheaper, and you bet if you tow a few they will stop.

 

[MongGrel]

If there is damage to your lawn due to people parking there, why not talk to the pastor of the church about it? "It's going to cost me $xxx for fill, seed, not to mention my time, as a result of your parishioners illegally parking on my lawn. Any chance you could see to it that they stop parking on the lawns? I'd hate to spend this time and money, just to have the lawn damaged again.

<--- I would prefer to try to be as civil about it as possible... at first.


If that doesn't succeed, then some sort of passive-aggressive assholish move while they are parked there.

Not sure is he has talked to the pastor, but it sounds to me they have been blowing him off awhile now.

 

[DrPizza]

That's true, but I figure he could make them somewhat decorative too, not just stone posts in the ground. How big would a 250lb stone would be? I probably underestimated their density.

A 1 cubic foot granite stone would be about 165 pounds. A cubic foot of dense concrete, about 150 pounds. Cement that's set, about 170 pounds per cubic foot. A block that's 2'x2'x2' would have 8 times the volume - 1000+ pounds.

250 pounds would be about 1.5 cubic feet. Assuming a round rock, let's see... 4/3 pi r^3...
17" diameter.

Here's a list of some densities, given as pounds per cubic foot.

 

[KlokWyze]

these people would KNOW about 4.3 seconds after they parked on my lawn to get the fuck out. QUICK.

if i wanted to be civil i would talk to the church and then the local responsible legal authorities.

jesus. lol

 

[DrPizza]

Oh, since some of us are brainstorming clever revenge, how about digging a trench about a foot deep, filling with sand. Then, when cars are parked on it, use water from the hose to wash away the sand, allowing the car to sink.

 

[SteveGrabowski]

Put Pro Choice flyers on their windshields talking about how sometimes abortion is the only humane option.

 

[Ancalagon44]

Put Pro Choice flyers on their windshields talking about how sometimes abortion is the only humane option.

"Get your abortion for free when you purchase any book by Charles Darwin or Richard Dawkins."

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

What does the law say about driving a monstertruck around in your own yard?

 

[MongGrel]

What does the law say about driving a monstertruck around in your own yard?

:hmm:

:sneaky:

 

[Carson Dyle]

Bollards. How much frontage do you have to protect? Placed every 6-8 feet works well.

 

[Newbian]

Put satanic statues on the yard so the church ladies know to stay away.

 

[highland145]

The boulder idea is the best, just determine where the property line is based on a survey.

In my Seattle neighborhood the DOT right of way is 70 feet, so 35 feet from the middle of the street. At my residence that translates into the road, the curb, the 8' parking strip, the sidewalk, and about 2 feet of lawn on my side of the sidewalk.

I'd hate to see you put rocks out there and have someone hit them and sue you because they were placed in the public right of way.

You should do this 1st. It might not be your property. Otherwise, the rocks or a trench.

Could start with a keep off the grass sign and progress if that doesn't work. Whores park for free of some such.

 

[Reynod]

Bollards or Rocks painted white.

Friends have a similar issue as they live across the road from a primary school and people kept parking on their lawn busting the popup sprinklers.

Since we are not allowed to train our kangaroos to attack people who park on our lawns (hey there are kids in these cars guys) we just got the rocks ... I wanted popup mines but again ... they reminded me about the kids <sigh>.

After a while he went to using bollards as he got sick of moving the rocks to mow ... hey ... that's why I use the kangaroos here in the first place ...

Hope you get the Christians off your lawns ... but look on the bright side ... they only snapped their finger at you ... they didn't send their 10 year old over with a suicide jacket bomb on?

 

[soulcougher73]

The standard go to in tire slashing. I thought everyone knew this.

 

[SteveGrabowski]

"Get your abortion for free when you purchase any book by Charles Darwin or Richard Dawkins."

The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all of fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully. Those of us schooled from infancy in his ways can become desensitized to their horror. A naif blessed with the perspective of innocence has a clearer perception. Winston Churchill's son Randolph somehow contrived to remain ignorant of scripture until Evelyn Waugh and a brother officer, in a vain attempt to keep Churchill quiet when they were posted together during the war, bet him he couldn't read the entire bible in a fortnight: 'Unhappily it has not had the result we hoped. He has never read any of it before and is hideously excited; keeps reading quotations aloud "I say I bet you didn't know this came in the bible ..." or merely slapping his side and chortling "God, isn't God a shit!" Thomas Jefferson - better read - was of a similar opinion: 'The Christian God is a being of terrific character - cruel, vindictive, capricious, and unjust.'

-- Love, Richard Dawkins

 

[Newell Steamer]

Send a weekly invoice to the church: Sunday parking charges. Figure about,.. oh, I don't know, $50 per car?

When they refuse to pay or refuse to tell their flock to stay off of you land, get a towing company to tow them away. Put up a sign or something stating they will be towed.

 

[McLovin]

Learn a lesson from the French, those things don't really stop Panzers. The tanks just take a detour through Belgium.

lol :thumbsup:

A detour into the neighbors yard sounds like what the OP is wanting.

 

[Ancalagon44]

The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all of fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully. Those of us schooled from infancy in his ways can become desensitized to their horror. A naif blessed with the perspective of innocence has a clearer perception. Winston Churchill's son Randolph somehow contrived to remain ignorant of scripture until Evelyn Waugh and a brother officer, in a vain attempt to keep Churchill quiet when they were posted together during the war, bet him he couldn't read the entire bible in a fortnight: 'Unhappily it has not had the result we hoped. He has never read any of it before and is hideously excited; keeps reading quotations aloud "I say I bet you didn't know this came in the bible ..." or merely slapping his side and chortling "God, isn't God a shit!" Thomas Jefferson - better read - was of a similar opinion: 'The Christian God is a being of terrific character - cruel, vindictive, capricious, and unjust.'

-- Love, Richard Dawkins

<--- Been an atheist for 15 years.