Tonight is the Mormon in laws Christmas party. Suddenly I became ill. 5 minutes after my wife left I felt better. It was like a miracle. I might have to enjoy an adult beverage or 10 while she at the 'party'. I feel so good I probably just nef here for awhile.
Christmas miracles do happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Thread starter Jhill
- Start date
Hey, as long as there aren't any Mormon Christmas parties there, It's good.
Trust me, you haven't felt hell until you've been to a 3 hr long Mormon Christmas party. Serious the best thing there was a dog that dry humped my leg last year. I let him keep going just to feel normal.
Trust me. It doesn't get much worse. When they talked about the 1984 byu nation championship (that was total bullshit) for 2 straight hours I seriously considered grabbing the Jello salad a suffocating myself in it. Serious, I almost died. Then when the Jello salad was eaten and they ranted and raved about how good Jello was, well that was the day I became an alcoholic.
No, they sit around and talk about how good byu was, is, and will be in football. Then they bash their rival, The University of Utah to no end. (keep in mind the U of U is a fine University that is cleaner than 90% of Universities out there) Then they talk about how good they are and how blessed they are to belong to the "true church of god". Then They talk about how every member of the byu football team is blessed with gods grace. Then they talk about University of Utah Graduates pumping gas for a living. Then they talk about how if the refs didn't hate mormons they would win the National Championship in football and basketball year in and year out. Then they toot their own horns to feel better about the cult they belong to.
Then comes the food................................
I don't want to type that much.
If I was forced to go, I would engage in conversation asking them why they think that belonging to the cult of Joseph Smith makes them think that someday they will be the god of their own planet.
Oh they probably haven't been told about that stuff yet.
Oh they probably haven't been told about that stuff yet.
WEll confuckinggradulalitions. You made it out, but I'm still here. Trust me if there is anyone out there reading this NEVER FUCKING move to Utah county under any circumstances. If you can count your balls twice and come up with the same number you won't fit in well in this cult driven community. I swear if I can't get out soon I'm going to fucking lose it in a bad way.
DJed a strict Baptist wedding, ceremony & "reception" were held at the church. Other than Frank Sinatra I was not allowed to play any music with lyrics. It was so boring the THE MF AMISH GUESTS LEFT EARLY.....
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