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Check out my new short film

S

slackerinabox

Lifer
This is a rought cut - the cuts aren't perfect, color correction isn't done, and our sound guy hasn't given it the pro-tools treatment still... But let me know what you guys think.


Kenny, the white guy, is NOT an actor... He's our producer and filled in at the last second. His performance is terrible but, hey, at least he tried.

http://s95421908.onlinehome.us/mint.wmv

warning: the dialogue is a little risque
 
I'm trying really hard not to tell you it sucks... but you aren't giving me much to work with.

PS - It sucks

You should go watch the Ghostbusters film posted earlier. It's well made AND entertaining... you should go for that.
 
you're giving back a little hatred now to the world
cause it treated you bad
cause you couldn't keep the great unknown from making you mad
 
Heh I was going to comment on the white guy not being a very good actor... but you've got that covered.
 
Originally posted by: Drizzy
Heh I was going to comment on the white guy not being a very good actor... but you've got that covered.
Click to expand...

You can still comment on everybody else not being good actors.
 
Is that a scene or the whole thing?

Why does the girl seem disgusted at the thought of them being gay?

I have to ask this again. Do you ever finish anything? With all the things you post, you NEVER post a finish project.
 
Originally posted by: MacBaine
Originally posted by: TheShiz
hey, i made a film recently too, check this out, and yep we found that rap on the internet, so we did the remix!

Rap we found on the web, did a remix and video, about 18 megs

I think it came out pretty good, if the first part is too slow for you, skip to around 4 minutes.
Click to expand...

Eh, somewhat amusing.
Click to expand...

i don't really care too much what anybody thinks, i had a ball making it, you should hear the original rap:

original song
 
Originally posted by: pulse8
Is that a scene or the whole thing?

Why does the girl seem disgusted at the thought of them being gay?

I have to ask this again. Do you ever finish anything? With all the things you post, you NEVER post a finish project.
Click to expand...

this is the full short.. it's somethig we threw together after our lead actor for another short canceled on us.
 
pretty wack man, i watch bad student films every day. ive seen a lot worse, but this still looks like an average bad DV short.

The white guy is really, really bad, you already know that, but still. like it or not, actors are 80% of what the audience will notice and remember, so you cant settle for less. I thought the black guy was kind of funny, but its hard to look bad compared to him. the problem with your film is that it builds up to this one joke, which really isnt even funny in the first place. i think most people actually get pissed off due to its homophobic undertones. but then again, what do i know, ive kinda been brainwashed and densensitized living in west hollywood 😉

the cinematography sucked. it looked like hi-8 or something. the white guy was blown out and sweaty, while his friend you could barley see, very uneven lighting for them and even the girl. lighting for dark skinned people is a very different game and takes practice if you are not used to it.

it was 2 minutes and 46 seconds, but it felt like 5 or 6...obviously thats bad.

um...it cut together ok, i mean, there was nothing jarring in continuity or editing...which is good. then again, you only had 4 shots..


sorry, im not trying to just hate, im just telling you what i think. if you shot that in half an hour or something i guess it might be ok, but otherwise, keep practicing.

edit: that music video was kinda funny...washing dishes...lol

😉
 
Originally posted by: gUEv
pretty wack man, i watch bad student films every day. ive seen a lot worse, but this still looks like an average bad DV short.

The white guy is really, really bad, you already know that, but still. like it or not, actors are 80% of what the audience will notice and remember, so you cant settle for less. I thought the black guy was kind of funny, but its hard to look bad compared to him. the problem with your film is that it builds up to this one joke, which really isnt even funny in the first place. i think most people actually get pissed off due to its homophobic undertones. but then again, what do i know, ive kinda been brainwashed and densensitized living in west hollywood 😉

the cinematography sucked. it looked like hi-8 or something. the white guy was blown out and sweaty, while his friend you could barley see, very uneven lighting for them and even the girl. lighting for dark skinned people is a very different game and takes practice if you are not used to it.

it was 2 minutes and 46 seconds, but it felt like 5 or 6...obviously thats bad.

um...it cut together ok, i mean, there was nothing jarring in continuity or editing...which is good. then again, you only had 4 shots..


sorry, im not trying to just hate, im just telling you what i think. if you shot that in half an hour or something i guess it might be ok, but otherwise, keep practicing.

edit: that music video was kinda funny...washing dishes...lol

😉
Click to expand...

yeah, we had to put something else stupid in the video, i figured washing dishes would be good, when do you see that in a rap video?
 
Love the black dude at the end, especially with his toodles line.
That was the best part, the rest was kinda bad.

Get more black guys in it 😉 (When I did work experience at HP there was a black dude who had a tuna and mushroom sadwich on toast, it was sick
<- hates fish)

Make it about 1 min long by cutting all the crap, and it might be OK.
 
Heh, it was cute, I liked it.

The black guy and the girl acted okay, but the white guy (your producer) was horrible. Luckily he is only a replacement.
 
Originally posted by: TheShiz
Originally posted by: MacBaine
Originally posted by: TheShiz
hey, i made a film recently too, check this out, and yep we found that rap on the internet, so we did the remix!

Rap we found on the web, did a remix and video, about 18 megs

I think it came out pretty good, if the first part is too slow for you, skip to around 4 minutes.
Click to expand...

Eh, somewhat amusing.
Click to expand...

i don't really care too much what anybody thinks, i had a ball making it, you should hear the original rap:

original song
Click to expand...

That's the right attitude, man! Glad you had a good time making your film... We had a blast... No matter what those losers from Perdue say, my people are cooler than their's.
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: TheShiz
Originally posted by: MacBaine
Originally posted by: TheShiz
hey, i made a film recently too, check this out, and yep we found that rap on the internet, so we did the remix!

Rap we found on the web, did a remix and video, about 18 megs

I think it came out pretty good, if the first part is too slow for you, skip to around 4 minutes.
Click to expand...

Eh, somewhat amusing.
Click to expand...

i don't really care too much what anybody thinks, i had a ball making it, you should hear the original rap:

original song
Click to expand...

That's the right attitude, man! Glad you had a good time making your film... We had a blast... No matter what those losers from Perdue say, my people are cooler than their's.
Click to expand...

LOL! Sweet 'Krew' you got there... looks like you really showed me up!
 
Originally posted by: Lonyo
Love the black dude at the end, especially with his toodles line.
That was the best part, the rest was kinda bad.

Get more black guys in it 😉 (When I did work experience at HP there was a black dude who had a tuna and mushroom sadwich on toast, it was sick
<- hates fish)

Make it about 1 min long by cutting all the crap, and it might be OK.
Click to expand...

yeah, the legnth of it really takes away from it.
i mean, its a joke.
but a 2:46 second joke.
its good to have a balance between set-up and punchline.
if i have to invest the first 2:25 seconds in build up only to have a 20 second payoff...

its not a "rule" necessarily. its just that when working with a joke like this (ie: predictable) delivery becomes all the more important.

also: get new actors. the woman worked pretty well...but both guys were just being sloppy.
 
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