changing small habits for your s/o...

[Semidevil]

I mean, when you are with a girl, and you plan to live w/ her for the rest of your life, to what extent would you change your habit for her?

i.e,

-brushing teeth in the morning, AFTER breakfast(I always brush right when I wake up)
-eating dinner with a spoon and choptsticks, so 2 hands(I am chinese, so I always eat with only chopsticks)

ofcourse, small habits are nothing.....it's no big deal to me, but just want to know how you guys feel. To me, it's no big deal, but just wondering.........

this is not a YAGT at all...i'm not having any problems, but this just came to my mind.........like, when your in a relationship, do you guys both do what you please, or usually, does the girl change for guy, or guy change for girl?

sup.

 

[Pliablemoose]

Just ignore what she wants you to change & she'll be screaming about all of it in a couple of years.:|

 

[AdamSnow]

I changed a few small stupid habits I had, she changed a few she had...

Relationships are a give/take thing... both of you have to meet each other 1/2 way or it wont work. (Well, it might... but one of you wont be happy at all)

 

[spidey07]

I'm all up for changing a few small things.

But if she critiques my grooming habits, that's just wrong.

Tell her "gee honey, you really should douche more often and preferably before we go to bed"

see how that flies.

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Small changes? Bullshit. You're fvcking WHIPPED!

- M4H

 

[iamwiz82]

Wait, she wants you to change when you brush your teeth?

I seem doom...

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

-brushing teeth in the morning, AFTER breakfast(I always brush right when I wake up)
Why should you have to change this? Is it a big deal? Personally, I'm brushing before breakfast whether they like it or not

-eating dinner with a spoon and choptsticks, so 2 hands(I am chinese, so I always eat with only chopsticks)
damn, it's food, just eat it how you like it

 

[intogamer]

Chopsticks are the shizznit. I eat my hoy seen fann with it :laugh:

 

[mwtgg]

Originally posted by: spidey07
I'm all up for changing a few small things.

But if she critiques my grooming habits, that's just wrong.

Tell her "gee honey, you really should douche more often and preferably before we go to bed"

see how that flies.

haha, so true.

 

[aplefka]

The habits you mention aren't too big of changes. If you have to start changing personality or other things that change you as a person, kick her the fvck out.

 

[iamme]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Small changes? Bullshit. You're fvcking WHIPPED!

- M4H

and the plot thickens.....*dramatic music*

 

[Lola]

Originally posted by: aplefka
The habits you mention aren't too big of changes. If you have to start changing personality or other things that change you as a person, kick her the fvck out.

are you kidding? that small, insignificant change will only lead to much MUCH larger changes... it starts small and then.... BANG!

 

[Yossarian]

Originally posted by: iamme

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Small changes? Bullshit. You're fvcking WHIPPED!

- M4H

and the plot thickens.....*dramatic music*

sofaking whipped!

 

[bootymac]

Originally posted by: Lola

Originally posted by: aplefka
The habits you mention aren't too big of changes. If you have to start changing personality or other things that change you as a person, kick her the fvck out.

are you kidding? that small, insignificant change will only lead to much MUCH larger changes... it starts small and then.... BANG!

Exactly. If she cares so much about the minor stuff.. then that really shows how "princess like" she is

 

[jemcam]

Give them an inch and they'll take a mile is my motto.

Just kidding, both sides have to compromise on different things.

 

[aplefka]

Originally posted by: Lola

Originally posted by: aplefka
The habits you mention aren't too big of changes. If you have to start changing personality or other things that change you as a person, kick her the fvck out.

are you kidding? that small, insignificant change will only lead to much MUCH larger changes... it starts small and then.... BANG!

It's not like she's telling him (or I hope not) "You need to change this." He's just doing it cuz he's trying to make her happier. Obviously there's a certain point where enough's enough, but 2 small changes aren't going to kill you.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: Lola

Originally posted by: aplefka
The habits you mention aren't too big of changes. If you have to start changing personality or other things that change you as a person, kick her the fvck out.

are you kidding? that small, insignificant change will only lead to much MUCH larger changes... it starts small and then.... BANG!

yep and then BANG!!!!

"you're holding your fork wrong", "you don't put the soap in the right place", "you're back forking again", "you're napking isn't right - OMGWTFISWRONG WITH YOU!!"

avoid like the plague.

 

[dullard]

The best thing is to do whatever you can that is small. But never do any of the big things. If you have to completely change your life, then she isn't for you. When you do make a change, make it better for both of you. Lets look at brushing your teeth as an example.

Brushing when you first get up has 2 problems: (1) the paste taste often ruins the breakfast taste and (2) after eating breakfast you have bad breath again for the rest of the day. Of course, there is one benefit: no one notices your morning breath. So make a compromise. If you are going to eat breakfast right away, brush after breakfast. If you are going out in public for breakfast, brush before so that the waitress doesn't faint from you awful breath.

My wife and I had a similar problem at first. I like to squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom so I get every last drop in the correct proportion. She likes to squeeze from the middle/top so that over half goes to waste and she tosses it in the trash. Solution? Two tubes. One for me, one for her.

That is what relationships are about. Doing something to make BOTH people happier.

 

[Semidevil]

you know, this thread wasn't about me...really....

just kind of a question on where you guys stand on changing "small habits"

 

[Pepsi90919]

Tell her "gee honey, you really should douche more often and preferably before we go to bed"

hahahahahahahahahaha

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Originally posted by: Semidevil
you know, this thread wasn't about me...really....

just kind of a question on where you guys stand on changing "small habits"

If it's a small habit I'd change on my own anyways (eg: picking my teeth) or something else for "politeness" then by all means she can bring it up.

"M4H, you really should try not to drop the F-Bomb in front of my family so much."

I wouldn't assert my right to cuss like a sailor as a Part Of Who I Am - I'd realise that under certain circumstances I should curb the crassness a smidgen.

"M4H, you need to use the salad fork / use conditioner in your hair / give up computers entirely."

Hell fvcking no.

- M4H

 

[meltdown75]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Small changes? Bullshit. You're fvcking WHIPPED!

- M4H

ahhaha... I didn't look closely enough at the nick.. well helloooOoOo again Semidevil the plot thickens yes. heheh

Whether or not the girl changes for the guy / guy changes for the girl will always vary depending on who is involved... I'm sure you will find varying levels of people bending over backwards for each other on both sides. As far as little habits, IMHO couples become so symbiotic and used to each other that the 'little habits' go unnoticed after a while...

So, did you get out of the dog house since the last incident?

 

[Semidevil]

Originally posted by: meltdown75

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Small changes? Bullshit. You're fvcking WHIPPED!

- M4H

ahhaha... I didn't look closely enough at the nick.. well helloooOoOo again Semidevil the plot thickens yes. heheh

Whether or not the girl changes for the guy / guy changes for the girl will always vary depending on who is involved... I'm sure you will find varying levels of people bending over backwards for each other on both sides. As far as little habits, IMHO couples become so symbiotic and used to each other that the 'little habits' go unnoticed after a while...

So, did you get out of the dog house since the last incident?

she said sorry for getting mad like that, and now, she is uploading the pictures.....so...yea...

 

Originally posted by: Semidevil
I mean, when you are with a girl, and you plan to live w/ her for the rest of your life, to what extent would you change your habit for her?

i.e,

-brushing teeth in the morning, AFTER breakfast(I always brush right when I wake up)
-eating dinner with a spoon and choptsticks, so 2 hands(I am chinese, so I always eat with only chopsticks)

ofcourse, small habits are nothing.....it's no big deal to me, but just want to know how you guys feel. To me, it's no big deal, but just wondering.........

this is not a YAGT at all...i'm not having any problems, but this just came to my mind.........like, when your in a relationship, do you guys both do what you please, or usually, does the girl change for guy, or guy change for girl?

sup.

But I would suppose that if they were habits, they weren't so easy to change in the first place! I'm not in the business of people changing habits for me or vice versa. If they were insignificant habits, then why would they warrant changes? I would never marry someone in the first place if his habits were not acceptable. If he were to change, it would have to be before I ever married him, and on his accordance--not mine.

 

[xirtam]

Depends. Are you changing them for you or for her?

If you're changing them because you want to anyway, more power to you. The fact that somebody you care about wants you to change them is a plus, but isn't the primary motivation.

If you're changing them for her and for her alone, then it won't last and she'll just get all pissed off when you revert, accusing you of a bait-and-switch.

You really can't win with girls. You just kind of have to go with the flow and kinda take an average of their monthly roller coaster cycles to try to cope with the fact that they belong on another planet, but they're beautiful in their own special way, so that's why you kinda want them around sometimes and kinda don't other times. And as an interesting but unrelated tidbit, the average girl will tell you that she's not the average girl, so if you ever hear that. When situations come up like this that you disagree about but it's not tactful to be direct about it, be happy with the averageness or irony of the situation, and smile and nod, but for amusement rather than agreement. She won't know the difference. Skills like this need to be developed and refined over time. They're a way to fight becoming whipped without losing all the good stuff that goes along with the world of women.