Care to help out with my first paragraph of a paper?

[SarcasticDwarf]

I have a final due in a few hours, and this is all that I have for my first paragraph. My intro paragraphs tend to be weak (there tends to be no flow to my paragraph), and I don't think this one is any exception. I have to leave in about 40 minutes, so any replies should be before then. If anyone makes this sound a lot better, $5 (hey, i'm a college student) will be sent.

Over the past few years, Wendell Berry, a farmer living in the Kentucky River Valley, has made a few recommendations for bioregional living. As a farmer, Berry?s recommendations focus on agricultural and consumer reform. Berry?s recommendations are unique among the bioregionalist authors in that they emphasize more moderate changes over the short term.


edit: Someone got it

 

[Zysoclaplem]

Looks good.

You can send the $5 through pay-pal

 

[SarcasticDwarf]

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Looks good.

You can send the $5 through pay-pal

lemme think about that...












um, no

 

[Zysoclaplem]

Originally posted by: SarcasticDwarf

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Looks good.

You can send the $5 through pay-pal

lemme think about that...












um, no

 

[Tylanner]

Interchange one of the "berry's" with "his".

Thats $5 + the 1.6759% paypal fee..

 

[DevilsAdvocate]

Originally posted by: SarcasticDwarf
I have a final due in a few hours, and this is all that I have for my first paragraph. My intro paragraphs tend to be weak (there tends to be no flow to my paragraph), and I don't think this one is any exception. I have to leave in about 40 minutes, so any replies should be before then. If anyone makes this sound a lot better, $5 (hey, i'm a college student) will be sent.

Over the past few years, Wendell Berry, a farmer living in the Kentucky River Valley, has made a few recommendations for bioregional living. As a farmer, Berry?s recommendations focus on agricultural and consumer reform. Berry?s recommendations are unique among the bioregionalist authors in that they emphasize more moderate changes over the short term.

Wendell Berry, a farmer living in the Kentucky River Valley, has made notable recommendations for bioregional living in recent years. Berry's recommendations are unque among bioregionalist authors, since they emphasize short-term, moderate reforms in both agriculture and consumption of agricultural products.

 

[SarcasticDwarf]

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate

Originally posted by: SarcasticDwarf
I have a final due in a few hours, and this is all that I have for my first paragraph. My intro paragraphs tend to be weak (there tends to be no flow to my paragraph), and I don't think this one is any exception. I have to leave in about 40 minutes, so any replies should be before then. If anyone makes this sound a lot better, $5 (hey, i'm a college student) will be sent.

Over the past few years, Wendell Berry, a farmer living in the Kentucky River Valley, has made a few recommendations for bioregional living. As a farmer, Berry?s recommendations focus on agricultural and consumer reform. Berry?s recommendations are unique among the bioregionalist authors in that they emphasize more moderate changes over the short term.

Wendell Berry, a farmer living in the Kentucky River Valley, has made notable recommendations for bioregional living in recent years. Berry's recommendations are unque among bioregionalist authors, since they emphasize short-term, moderate reforms in both agriculture and consumption of agricultural products.

Exactly what I was looking for (well, other than the typo). YGPM!

 

[Drakkon]

The world is in ruins. Our crops are dying. Plague is soon to set in. A hero is needed. At a small farm in the Kentucky River Valley resides Wendell Berry. He has made a few recommendations for bioregional living, but nothing too earth shattering, yet. As a farmer, Berry?s recommendations focus on agricultural and consumer reform. Berry?s recommendations are unique among the bioregionalist authors in that they emphasize more moderate changes over the short term.

send $5 to duke1 -at - drakkon.net

 

[pancho619]

My 2¢

Wendell Berry, a farmer living in the Kentucky River Valley, has made notable recommendations for bioregional living in recent years. Berry's suggestions are unique among field experts, since they emphasize moderate short-term reforms in both agriculture and product consumption.

 

[TechnoKid]

Over the past few years, Wendell berries have been growing in the Kentucky River Valley. They grow bioregionaly within the valley. On a farm, the berries are reccomended to agricultural reformists and consumers. These berries are unique in that they come only from the Kentucky River Valley. They make excellent jam and preserves. Some people emphasize the need for more change in the use of the berries, but pureists beg to differ. "Thet are great, new and hopefully will be around for a while," says Psar Castic, a farmer that grows them in the Kentucky River Valley.