Can I go to a wake w/o wearing a suit or tie?

Blackjack200

Lifer
May 28, 2007
15,995
1,688
126
Just found out that there is a wake scheduled for 5 PM today, and I'm already at work. I didn't know the deceased but I know some of the bereaved very well, so I'm going for them.

It would be a huge PITA for me to go back home and get a suit. Right now I'm wearing a white button down shirt and gray slacks. I look like someone that was wearing a suit but then took off his jacket and tie.

Can I just go like this? Or will I look like a huge d-bag?
 

tokie

Golden Member
Jun 1, 2006
1,491
0
0
If you want to enjoy free food, you need to suit up. If you aren't taking any food, then you will be fine.
 

gophins72

Golden Member
Jul 22, 2005
1,541
0
76
probably would be ok, especially if you are younger (early 20s). if you are THAT worried you can probably get something cheap at walmart on the way eh?
 

IndyColtsFan

Lifer
Sep 22, 2007
33,655
687
126
Just found out that there is a wake scheduled for 5 PM today, and I'm already at work. I didn't know the deceased but I know some of the bereaved very well, so I'm going for them.

It would be a huge PITA for me to go back home and get a suit. Right now I'm wearing a white button down shirt and gray slacks. I look like someone that was wearing a suit but then took off his jacket and tie.

Can I just go like this? Or will I look like a huge d-bag?

Yes, you can go dressed like that without any problem.
 

lxskllr

No Lifer
Nov 30, 2004
59,299
9,805
126
I'd go as-is. If it was easy, stopping at store for a darker shirt, or maybe a sweater wouldn't be a bad idea, but I wouldn't worry about it. Your presence is more valuable than superfluous protocol.
 

Blackjack200

Lifer
May 28, 2007
15,995
1,688
126
If you want to enjoy free food, you need to suit up. If you aren't taking any food, then you will be fine.

Good, I don't care about food.

Yes, you can go dressed like that without any problem.

You don't need to wear a suit, I went to one in Nov.

I'd go as-is. If it was easy, stopping at store for a darker shirt, or maybe a sweater wouldn't be a bad idea, but I wouldn't worry about it. Your presence is more valuable than superfluous protocol.

Awesome. That's what I'll do then.
 

Muse

Lifer
Jul 11, 2001
40,336
9,899
136
Just found out that there is a wake scheduled for 5 PM today, and I'm already at work. I didn't know the deceased but I know some of the bereaved very well, so I'm going for them.

It would be a huge PITA for me to go back home and get a suit. Right now I'm wearing a white button down shirt and gray slacks. I look like someone that was wearing a suit but then took off his jacket and tie.

Can I just go like this? Or will I look like a huge d-bag?
I say go as you are. Anyone who can't tell you are a sincere individual has a problem, their problem. Bring yourself, not your suit. Your body language will say it all,
 

Imp

Lifer
Feb 8, 2000
18,828
184
106
As long as you aren't wearing a tie-dyed shirt and boxing shorts.

A business look is fine, but if you're in the office, just swipe (or ask nicely to borrow) someone's sports coat or jacket.
 

mb

Lifer
Jun 27, 2004
10,233
2
71
Sounds more than fine. I went to one recently and there several people wearing jeans or shorts and t-shirts. I'm sure it was appreciated that they were there instead of missing it because they might have felt under-dressed.
 

CycloWizard

Lifer
Sep 10, 2001
12,348
1
81
I'd go as-is. If it was easy, stopping at store for a darker shirt, or maybe a sweater wouldn't be a bad idea, but I wouldn't worry about it. Your presence is more valuable than superfluous protocol.
This. The bereaved don't care what you're wearing - they care that you're there.
 

Wyndru

Diamond Member
Apr 9, 2009
7,318
4
76
The last few wakes I have been to actually had people in jeans and t-shirts.

It seems the standards for wakes have changed a bit. A little disrespectful, but nobody seems to make a big deal about it anymore.
 

gophins72

Golden Member
Jul 22, 2005
1,541
0
76
I'm sure it was appreciated that they were there instead of missing it because they might have felt under-dressed.

if it comes down to this, definitely do not miss it, no matter what you're wearing.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
In this situation your dress would be more than likely fine. Every wake is different, but in general these are not 'surprise' occassions.

At a black-tie wake showing up in cut offs and sandals is rude regardless of your intentions.

People have lost sight of manners out of convenience to themselves.
 

Texashiker

Lifer
Dec 18, 2010
18,811
198
106
The people that know the deceased, how will they be dressed?

Personally, I would be mad if someone showed up at my funeral in a suit. But that is just me. I dont even own a suit. The closest I have is a jacket and tie.