- Jul 18, 2000
- 17,112
- 1
- 0
14> "Mandatory registration and waiting periods for those damned
scooter things."
13> "Beer will be officially added to the USDA pyramid as the
most important food group."
12> "I *will* have sexual relations with that woman,
Miss Zeta-Jones. On network TV. With no commercials."
11> "I'll eliminate government red tape so that McDonald's can
be free to sell Shamrock Shakes the whole year-round."
10> "I'll make this speech short."
9> "And if electered President, I promise to learned to speach
more betterer."
8> "Forget Microsoft -- I'll get the Justice Department to
break up Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt."
7> "Funds will be allocated to make the Statue of Liberty
look much more like Britney Spears."
6> "I'm going to take the social security surplus out of the lock
box, and put it into a Ziploc bag -- not an ordinary one, but
one of those where blue and yellow make green. That way I
know it's safe."
5> "Under my administration, State of the Union addresses will
only last five minutes and will be communicated using
interpretive dance techniques."
4> "If victorious in November, I will after 30 years of seeking
higher and higher public office have finally erased the
serious self-esteem issues which drew me to a career in
government in the first place."
3> "Gore daughters for everyone!"
2> "I intend to dissolve the Presidency and turn control of
the government over to a team of Animatronic chimps."
1> "A chicken in every pot. Ok, screw the chicken -- just
the pot. Loads and loads of pot."
Someone just sent these to me so I thought I would pass them on......
scooter things."
13> "Beer will be officially added to the USDA pyramid as the
most important food group."
12> "I *will* have sexual relations with that woman,
Miss Zeta-Jones. On network TV. With no commercials."
11> "I'll eliminate government red tape so that McDonald's can
be free to sell Shamrock Shakes the whole year-round."
10> "I'll make this speech short."
9> "And if electered President, I promise to learned to speach
more betterer."
8> "Forget Microsoft -- I'll get the Justice Department to
break up Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt."
7> "Funds will be allocated to make the Statue of Liberty
look much more like Britney Spears."
6> "I'm going to take the social security surplus out of the lock
box, and put it into a Ziploc bag -- not an ordinary one, but
one of those where blue and yellow make green. That way I
know it's safe."
5> "Under my administration, State of the Union addresses will
only last five minutes and will be communicated using
interpretive dance techniques."
4> "If victorious in November, I will after 30 years of seeking
higher and higher public office have finally erased the
serious self-esteem issues which drew me to a career in
government in the first place."
3> "Gore daughters for everyone!"
2> "I intend to dissolve the Presidency and turn control of
the government over to a team of Animatronic chimps."
1> "A chicken in every pot. Ok, screw the chicken -- just
the pot. Loads and loads of pot."
Someone just sent these to me so I thought I would pass them on......
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