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Californians

B

Brutuskend

Lifer


Youknow you're from California if:

1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercing's and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember . . . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember . . . .is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.
 
None of those are applicable except #10 and #20. Everyone knows pot is illegal. Even the mayor of San Francisco. Nice try!

10/10
 
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
Click to expand...

Semi-related, I went into a grocery store in Fresno. My uncle and I were the only white people in the entire store.
 
14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a repost on every news station: "STORM WATCH."
Click to expand...

(slight fix, but makes sense 😛 )

So true... around here, three of the local stations (ABC30, KSEE (NBC) 24, and CBS47) have these weather promotion wars, with such exotic instruments as "Storm Warn 30," "Live Pinpoint Doppler 2400," and "True View." It seems more absurd to have these in Fresno, where we usually aren't subject to really heavy downpours/flooding, than in a place like L.A. Sometimes excessive coverage is warranted, though, because the area is still quite ag-centric, and things like frost can be quite devastating to farmers. It's also quite helpful to know when you aren't going to be able to see more than 100 feet in front of you in the morning, so you can be extra-alert for people going 90mph down Jensen Avenue that you can't see or react to in the fog.
 
I've been thinking of moving back to Cali... I will never be able to afford a house but me and my gf can go to the beach on the weekends, lol.
 
Most are true except for the pot thing. Of all my friends, the ones who smoke pot number very few overall. And some of that sh1t isn't California, it's the US in the 60s/70s 😛
 
Originally posted by: FleshLight
None of those are applicable except #10 and #20. Everyone knows pot is illegal. Even the mayor of San Francisco. Nice try!

10/10
Click to expand...

Of course he knows, he just doesn't care about laws (which is odd considering he is holding public office). 😉
 
22. If someone asks you how far some place is, you tell them how long it takes to get there rather than the actual distance.
 
I've grown up in San Diego and here is my take.

Piercings on coworker isn't true... there are freaks all over US with tons of piercings.

Housing is definitely expensive... my damn condo costs more then most people's middle class homes.

Being shocked about english being spoken on public transportation is definitely true.

If people thought pot was legal in CA you'd notice. No, everyone knows its illegal.

Never heard of a baby shower with two lesbos and a donor there... I actually havent even met a lesbo family my entire life living here.

I can care less about the cofee bean, so long as it doesn't taste like ass.

Pot again, scroll up.

It is only hard to find parking in downtown San Diego. Otherwise I never have any problems.

Gas is way too expensive here, I wish there was a regulation to how much it varies throughout the country.

I've never seen George Clooney in person.

Car insurance isn't too bad if you know how to drive well. Don't get tickets and dont crash your car.

Pot again, scroll up.

People do not freak out about sprinkling rain. Thats an outsider joke and doesn't fit. I've been to Wisconsin at winter time where it was -11ºF and -30ºF wind chill and never complained, its a jelousy joke to try and make fun of us cuz we got nice weather.

Elementary kids with cell phones and pagers is wrong unless its a private school full of rich kids. Middle school though, you can expect it.

There will always be a lot of acidents in California whether it be due to weather or not... we just have a sh#tload of drivers and its harder to drive on packed freeways then open ones. I know for a fact learning to drive in SoCal helped me become a great driver due to how demanding it is. I've been to Ohio where people ping pong back and forth between their lanes...

Pot again, scroll up.

Arnold rules, that is all.

I sure as heck don't want to give the illegals drivers licences... but the way things are going, Bush wants it to be legal for them to work here as well. Sad times.
 
Youk now you're from Oregon if:

1. Your co-worker has less than 8 teeth in his head.

2. You house doesn't have indoor plumbing.

3. You don't know how to pump your own gas.

4. Your child's 10th grade teacher is also his lover.

5. You can't remember . . . . is pot illegal?

6. You've never been to a baby shower that has two parents.

7. You have a very strong opinion about personal hygiene and insist that one should shower at least on a monthly basis.

8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

9. You personally know of someone who's been killed by a Logging Truck.

10. You've never checked your own oil at a gas station

11. The guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like your Mayor really IS your Mayor.

12. Car Insurance, what's that?.

13. You can't remember . . . .is pot illegal?

14. It doesn't rain for a week there's a report on every news station: "DROUGHT WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are ducking for cover.

16. It's barely snowing outside, so you stay home from work to avoid getting run over by a Logging Truck.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. You go into a bike shop and an old bald guy with a pony tail works there😉

19. You actually have a Governor?

20. If you drive legally that makes you the exception not the norm.

 
Originally posted by: DurocShark
All except #6 for me. Only cuz most lesbians around here that I know have a "friend" act as "sperm donor".
Click to expand...
I'm from Merced which is a Dumbfvckistani Outpost in California so I don't know any Lesbians.

 
Originally posted by: Red Dawn
Youk now you're from Oregon if:

1. Your co-worker has less than 8 teeth in his head.

2. You house doesn't have indoor plumbing.

3. You don't know how to pump your own gas.

4. Your child's 10th grade teacher is also his lover.

5. You can't remember . . . . is pot illegal?

6. You've never been to a baby shower that has two parents.

7. You have a very strong opinion opinion about personal hygiene and insist that one should shower at least on a monthly basis.

8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

9. You personally know of someone who's been killed by a Logging Truck.

10. You've never checked your own oil at a gas station

11. The guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like your Mayor really IS your Mayor.

12. Car Insurance, what's that?.

13. You can't remember . . . .is pot illegal?

14. It doesn't rain for a week there's a report on every news station: "DROUGHT WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children ducking for cover.

16. It's barely snowing outside, so you stay home from work to avoid getting run over by a Logging Truck.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. You go into a bike shop and an old bald guy with a pony tail works there😉

19. You actually have a Governor?

20. If you drive legally that makes you the exception not the norm.
Click to expand...

touché

(I DO have most of MY teeth though. But then I grew up in Ind. and Mo. 😉 )

I never went to school here, so I missed out on screwing my teacher. 🙁

It pot legal?
 
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