Business terms that make you want to strangle someone

[BooGiMaN]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: Ameesh

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: Ameesh

Originally posted by: RishiS
"I touched base with Jack..."

at work i say "i pinged jack"

some people reply "ack" or maybe "nack"

sometimes you can see people walking around the halls saying "ARP!....ARP!" out loud to no one in paticular

I've used "pinged" before, but you guys take it a bit too far... 😉

One I hate is "face time", the concept of having to be at work (say, on a Saturday) not for the purpose of actually working, but for the mere appearance of doing something useful. To be seen by the boss..

lol i was joking about the nack and arp 🙂

Pfew. I was afraid you were going to say something about members of your department doing a verbal TCP handshake to initiate dialogue...

it irrates me to no end for people to use "computer" terms like this...'oh yeah jack ill get with you offline and we will talk about it BLABLABLA'

freaking morons especially non technical people..it seems marketing love to use these terms...

i swear to God next time someone uses any of these terms im gonna bring a stun gun....and start zapping them....'yeah jack im just testing ur 'conductivity'.

ZAP!! ZAP!!!! ZAPPITY ZAP ZAP!!! Offline huh ZAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRPPPP!!!! Handshaking huh ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!

 

[xuanman]

"thinking outside the box" and "work product"

 

[Sukhoi]

strategic deployment

lean

kaizen

 

[isasir]

Oh, and my company doesn't fire people, or lay them off, we "excess" them. WTF does that mean?!?!

 

[bananaFish]

All work phrases are annoying but it's even worse when the phrase is used incorrectly.

I recall an email entitled "Action items while I'm out of the office". It was sent to my department just before my boss went on an extedned leave of absence and I swear to god not one 'action item' was mentioned in any of the 1500 words.

 

[shiner]

Best Practice

Result-Driven

Proactive

Synergy

 

[brtspears2]

Terminated ... apparently fired is a bad word.

 

[bleeb]

"touch base with (insert name here)" ... I really hate this term as well.

 

[DJFuji]

from the dmxzone newsletter:

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