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Business terms that make you want to strangle someone

T

trmiv

Lifer
My boss just came up to me and asked what "action items" I "have on my plate." I wanted to strangle her right then and there. What trendy business terms annoy you?
 
Bwahaah, I hate "action items" too. I actually told my boss that if she ever said I had "action items" that I'd quit. Unfortunately, we joked about it to the point where it's now common 🙁 🙂
 
"You want me to de-prioritize my current reports until you advise of a status upgrade?"

"You need to make these your primary action items."

😀
 
Issues.
Everything has "issues".
It's a way of talking about problems without admitting they are problems.
And yeah, Action Items is irritating.
 
"marry up"

grrrrr

'we'll write the code for the databas then get the vendor to provide the interface then we'll marry them up!" la al lalla lla easy as pie!
 
Originally posted by: RishiS
"I touched base with Jack..."
Click to expand...

at work i say "i pinged jack"

some people reply "ack" or maybe "nack"

sometimes you can see people walking around the halls saying "ARP!....ARP!" out loud to no one in paticular
 
Originally posted by: Ameesh
Originally posted by: RishiS
"I touched base with Jack..."
Click to expand...

at work i say "i pinged jack"

some people reply "ack" or maybe "nack"

sometimes you can see people walking around the halls saying "ARP!....ARP!" out loud to no one in paticular
Click to expand...

I've used "pinged" before, but you guys take it a bit too far... 😉

One I hate is "face time", the concept of having to be at work (say, on a Saturday) not for the purpose of actually working, but for the mere appearance of doing something useful. To be seen by the boss..
 
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: Ameesh
Originally posted by: RishiS
"I touched base with Jack..."
Click to expand...

at work i say "i pinged jack"

some people reply "ack" or maybe "nack"

sometimes you can see people walking around the halls saying "ARP!....ARP!" out loud to no one in paticular
Click to expand...

I've used "pinged" before, but you guys take it a bit too far... 😉

One I hate is "face time", the concept of having to be at work (say, on a Saturday) not for the purpose of actually working, but for the mere appearance of doing something useful. To be seen by the boss..
Click to expand...

lol i was joking about the nack and arp 🙂
 
Originally posted by: Ameesh
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: Ameesh
Originally posted by: RishiS
"I touched base with Jack..."
Click to expand...

at work i say "i pinged jack"

some people reply "ack" or maybe "nack"

sometimes you can see people walking around the halls saying "ARP!....ARP!" out loud to no one in paticular
Click to expand...

I've used "pinged" before, but you guys take it a bit too far... 😉

One I hate is "face time", the concept of having to be at work (say, on a Saturday) not for the purpose of actually working, but for the mere appearance of doing something useful. To be seen by the boss..
Click to expand...

lol i was joking about the nack and arp 🙂
Click to expand...

Pfew. I was afraid you were going to say something about members of your department doing a verbal TCP handshake to initiate dialogue...
 
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: Ameesh
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: Ameesh
Originally posted by: RishiS
"I touched base with Jack..."
Click to expand...

at work i say "i pinged jack"

some people reply "ack" or maybe "nack"

sometimes you can see people walking around the halls saying "ARP!....ARP!" out loud to no one in paticular
Click to expand...

I've used "pinged" before, but you guys take it a bit too far... 😉

One I hate is "face time", the concept of having to be at work (say, on a Saturday) not for the purpose of actually working, but for the mere appearance of doing something useful. To be seen by the boss..
Click to expand...

lol i was joking about the nack and arp 🙂
Click to expand...

Pfew. I was afraid you were going to say something about members of your department doing a verbal TCP handshake to initiate dialogue...
Click to expand...


no we use UDP cause its connectionless.
 
I suggest reading "Way of the Weasel" by Scott Adams, the Dilbert creator. Best books ever for managment skills, seriously. There's a whole section devoted to these "weasel words" that you've all mentioned. It's the first indicator that your boss or co-worker is a weasel.
 
Originally posted by: trmiv
My boss just came up to me and asked what "action items" I "have on my plate." I wanted to strangle her right then and there. What trendy business terms annoy you?
Click to expand...

LOLOL

That's classic.

"Moving Forward" is my favorite. WTF does that even mean? Is there another way to move?
 
Originally posted by: DainBramaged
"Sound's like somebody has a case of the Mondays." I swear my boss talks just like Lumbergh.
Click to expand...

Ummmmmmm.... yeaaahhhhh.... okaaayyyyyyy. I'maaaa, gonna have to ask you to come in saturdayyyyyy, so yeah.... why don't you just go ahead and come in at around.... 9? That'd be greaaaaatttt.

😀

I hate "proactive" and "e-anything" that isn't email. Oh, and "mission statement", and "team" and any sugar coated replacement word for employee, ie "team member", "partner", etc.
 
"We need to be more proactive" Argh! You know there is a "we" in that sentence, how bout you do something! Oh yeah, and was that subject brought to "change control" is a real pisser!
 
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