Bulletstorm ending AKA the worst case of blue balls in the galaxy

[DangerAardvark]

I'd give a spoiler warning, but to borrow from this game's stupid vernacular: "the story ain't for shit".

Not only do you not get to kill the man who's been taunting you nonstop for the last 3rd of the game, but you also never get to bang the mouthy chick in the tank top.

But there's another kind of blue balls going on in this game. GIMME MORE SHIT TO KILL. I don't want to slide down anymore chutes, ride down anymore zip lines, shimmy across anymore overhangs, jump over anymore low walls, or duck under anymore debris. I JUST WANT TO SHOOT PEOPLE. I don't want to take cover every 5 seconds, and I especially don't want to have to buy bullets for my shotgun after every fight.

Oh, and why am I never alone? There's always someone tagging along interjecting shitty one-liners and messing up my shots with their big fat heads.





But it was still pretty fun.

 

[alcoholbob]

I quit that game after a few hours of monotonous spamming of the energy whip...just bored me to tears.

 

[NYHoustonman]

I never had to buy bullets .

But I, too, enjoyed the hell outta the game.

 

[gorcorps]

I dunno, I think borderlands blueballed you just as much if not more.

 

[Lonyo]

Clearly you never played Bioshock.

 

[OptimumSlinky]

I wanted to like this game so much. I wanted a serious, old-school shooter that was just fun. But I found it seriously weak. And yeah, the ending sucks.

 

[yacoub]

I dunno, I think borderlands blueballed you just as much if not more.

Not at all. You got to kill so many baddies in Borderlands. I thought that game was extremely satisfying. It just had a crappy ending because it was the typical mega-monster-from-outer-space cop-out boss fight as though their writing team ran out of imagination. That's no where near the same thing as blue balling you, though.

 

[gorcorps]

Not at all. You got to kill so many baddies in Borderlands. I thought that game was extremely satisfying. It just had a crappy ending because it was the typical mega-monster-from-outer-space cop-out boss fight as though their writing team ran out of imagination. That's no where near the same thing as blue balling you, though.

I disagree, and here's why:

Spoiler

The whole point of the game from the start was that you were searching for some vault full of awesome stuff. Once you got to the end you fight a monster... and then the thing you've been after the whole time closes. You can't get to the vault, ever. The whole point of you fighting your way there and even getting on the bus in the first place was because you were treasure hunting. Teasing you with the idea of something great and then pulling it away at the last second is the DEFINITION of gaming blue balling... if there ever was one. How you could think otherwise is stunning. I'm not saying it wasn't fun, but the ending was without question the most textbook definition of tease & blue balls I've ever seen.

 

[KIAman]

I viewed Bulletstorm as more of a kill-with-quality rather than kill-with-quantity type of shooter. Yeah, it seemed like there were never enough enemies to kill but the fun wasn't the killing, it was HOW you killed.

I thought a lot of the kill achievements were pretty hilarious. There are even kill achievements you can get that aren't even defined in the kill list so you can do a lot of random things to try to get a non-defined achievement. It seems the developers went pretty deep into how a kill achievement is defined so you might get surprised on the variations.

The dialogue was funny as hell. I found myself laughing out loud a lot in this game. It was probably the best part of the game for me. My favorite dialogue is

Spoiler

when the unkillable golem-like monster that you had to kill with the helicopter rotor earlier, comes down the stairs and you say "hey, one of your boyfriends just showed up" and the chick responds by saying something like "shut the hell up." The monster bonks his head on something, trips down the flight of stairs into the pool of acid and disintegrates. Then you say "I feel like I should say something witty here..."

. That part had me laughing so hard for a couple minutes.

The overall story sucked but I would gladly play Bulletstorm 2 when it comes out.

 

[DangerAardvark]

The other thing that bugged me was why, in a game where action is supposed to take precedence over story, was the action constantly being interrupted by cut scenes and exposition? And elevators. The one enemy I dreaded seeing the most in this game was the elevator.

 

[coloumb]

Not only do you not get to kill the man who's been taunting you nonstop for the last 3rd of the game, but you also never get to bang the mouthy chick in the tank top..

"Rating: Mature - Content descriptors: Blood and Gore, Intense Violence, Partial Nudity, Sexual Themes, Strong Language, Use of Alcohol"

Wait a minute - partial nudity?? I don't recall any partial [female] nudity...

Yeah..they could've taken it one step further and at least hinted or showed them bangin' in the escape pod...