HappyPuppy
Lifer
Just a couple of jokes I came across and thought were funny/appropo. If you've heard them before that's OK, I never claimed to be original.
A nurse walks into a bank, preparing to endorse a check.
She reaches in her pocket and pulls out a rectal thermometer
and tries to write with it. She looks up at the teller, pauses for
a moment, then realizing her mistake, she says, "Well that's great......
just great.....Some asshole's got my pen."
__________________________________________________
I've sure gotten old. I've had 2 By-pass surgeries. A hip
replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half
blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications
that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't
remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But.....Thank God,
I still have my Florida driver's license!
A nurse walks into a bank, preparing to endorse a check.
She reaches in her pocket and pulls out a rectal thermometer
and tries to write with it. She looks up at the teller, pauses for
a moment, then realizing her mistake, she says, "Well that's great......
just great.....Some asshole's got my pen."
__________________________________________________
I've sure gotten old. I've had 2 By-pass surgeries. A hip
replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half
blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications
that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't
remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But.....Thank God,
I still have my Florida driver's license!
