Bowel Cleansing

[Carbo]

Originally posted by: Rudee
This is from a SNL parody.

SNL does colon jokes?? The hell, you say!

 

[Rookie]

Originally posted by: MichaelD

Originally posted by: Ulfwald
Homemade Colon Cleaner

Mix a double dose Metamucil with 12 ounces of apple juice and drink it down with 1 Ducolax after dinner.
Chase with at least 64 ounces of water before going to bed.
Make sure you have plenty of toilet paper close by.
1 can of lysol
A good Magazine or something to ready near the toilet as well.


Wake up next morning drink a cup of good strong coffee. (If yopu make it through the coffe without feeling the urge to go, double your dose of metamucil)
Run to bathroom with butt cheeks clenched.
Sit down, Pick up reading material, spray bathroom with Lysol, or light a scented candle.
Do not get up until yo feel like your brain is about to come out of your a-hole. Wiping more than once results in a seriously raw O-ring.

LMAFAO!!!!!!

Best instructions ever!

/still chuckling

:thumbsup:

 

[Ausm]

Originally posted by: Ulfwald
Homemade Colon Cleaner

Mix a double dose Metamucil with 12 ounces of apple juice and drink it down with 1 Ducolax after dinner.
Chase with at least 64 ounces of water before going to bed.
Make sure you have plenty of toilet paper close by.
1 can of lysol
A good Magazine or something to ready near the toilet as well.


Wake up next morning drink a cup of good strong coffee. (If yopu make it through the coffe without feeling the urge to go, double your dose of metamucil)
Run to bathroom with butt cheeks clenched.
Sit down, Pick up reading material, spray bathroom with Lysol, or light a scented candle.
Do not get up until yo feel like your brain is about to come out of your a-hole. Wiping more than once results in a seriously raw O-ring.

The only thing that would make me nervous is "lighting" the candle

Ausm

 

[Deeko]

My simple, light hearted thread about drinking is deleted, and THIS one is let go?

Way to be mods, way to be.

 

[FoBoT]

that is wimpy

i go for super colon blow

Colon Blow

Man.....Phil Hartman




[ fade in on a man at a table, eating oat bran cereal from a bowl ]

Announcer: Hold it! Is that what you?re having for breakfast?

Man: Sure, haven't you heard? Fiber is really good for you.

Announcer: Well, there's fiber, and then there's high fiber. Try this.

[ offstage hands replace cereal box with Colon Blow cereal box ]

Man: Hmm.. Colon Blow. Sounds delicious. But is it really higher in fiber than my oat bran cereal?

Announcer: Take a guess: How many bowls of your oat bran cereal would it take to equal the fiber content of one bowl of Colon Blow?

Man: Two?

Announcer: Guess again.

Man: Three?

Announcer: A little higher.

Man: Four?

Announcer: Keep trying.

Man: Five?

Announcer: No, you'll have to do better than that.

Man: Seven?

Announcer: Guess again.

Man: Eight?

Announcer: We'll give you one more guess.

Man: Nine.

Announcer: Not even close. [ table starts shaking ] It would take over 30,000 bowls. [ a giant pyramid of cereal bowls shoots up from under the man, who yells in terror as it rises ] To eat that much oat bran, you'd have to eat ten bowls a day, every day for eight and a half years.

Man: [ after the pyramid settles; shouts from afar ] Wow! I think I get the picture! Colon Blow must be the highest fiber cereal on the market!

Announcer: Not any more, now that there's new Super Colon Blow.

Man: Super Colon Blow?

[ pyramid rises even higher with the man screaming ]

Announcer: It would take over two and a half million bowls of your oat bran cereal to equal the fiber content of one bowl of Super Colon Blow.

[ pyramid settles ]

Man: [ overwhelmed ]I'm convinced! [ looks down the pyramid in panic ]

[ cut to close-up of bowl with Colon Blow and Super Colon Blow boxes ]

Jingle: "Colon Blow and you-u-u-u in the morning"

Announcer: Colon Blow and new Super Colon Blow.

Voiceover: Warning: may cause abdominal distention. Consult a physician.

[ fade to black ]

 

[Xylitol]

I'm at school and the firewall blocked it lol
said nasty/gross as the reason :shocked:
I'll see it at home

 

[91TTZ]

Originally posted by: Rudee
This is from a SNL parody.

I remember when that skit came on TV. I think it was a cereal.


Announcer: How many bowls of your cereal do you think it would take to equal the fiber contained in one bowl of Colon Blow?

Guy: 1? 2? 4?

Announcer: Not Even Close. It would take over Thirty..THOUSAND bowls of your cereal to equal one bowl of super Colon Blow!

 

[MisfitsFiend]

This isn't for real!

 

[imported_Dimicron]

Originally posted by: ColonBlow!
Colonblow 3-Pack $32.95 ... more

- add a short sleeve t-shirt for just $7 ... more

- add a long sleeve t-shirt for just $11 ... more

- add a poopin' is cool hat for just $9 ... more

Look at the extra stuff! YES!!!!

:beer:

Originally posted by: ColonBlow! -Rating: Excellent "I've never seen anything like what I saw..."

OMG! This is great!!!

Site of the year!

 

[bleeb]

Originally posted by: radioouman
no thanks on the pics

yeah man forget the pics.

 

[radioouman]

any update yet?

 

[Mark R]

OMG, I just read the ingredients.

Basically, it's just a combination of loads of different laxatives. Some of them (like cascara) are completely inappropriate for treating constipation (even severe constipation) due to their severe action and side effects.

By all means use the fibre supplement, but you are unlikely to get any benefit whatsoever from taking the capsules.

 

[SVT Cobra]

Originally posted by: radioouman
no thanks on the pics

 

[Ulfwald]

Save the money and follow my instructions. But, instead of 64 ounces of water, drink 64 ounces of V8 juice. Talk about a truly moving experience.

 

[lokiju]

So how did everything come out?