Blue Tooth Vibrator...

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sao123

sao123

Lifer
May 27, 2002
12,653
205
106
So... your gf wears a vibrator to work and you text message her to orgasm.
Amazing... is it legal to sell this stuff in america?

Girls: fancy an SMS-fired Bluetooth vibrator?
Well, by an amazing coincidence...
By Lester Haines
Published Friday 28th October 2005 15:28 GMT
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NSFW Our female readers are invited to imagine the folllowing scenario: It's Monday, you're at work, you're bored, you're thinking "how could I possibly spice up this trawl of the 2,000 weekend emails in my inbox?" when it occurs to you that if someone were to invent an SMS-triggered Bluetooth vibrator then your partner could bring you to an earth-shattering climax simply by texting a few sweet words of lurv, leaving you totally satisfied as a woman and fit to face the most daunting online task.

Well, you're in luck, because UK outfit the Cool & Groovy Toy Company Ltd has plugged this particular gap in the life-enhancing technology market with The Toy, described as a "hi-tech vibrating bullet". The blurb explains:

Connected to a mobile phone with Bluetooth it becomes an intimate, silent connection between two lovers, regardless of distance. Custom designed for your pleasure, it is intelligent, sophisticated and invented for bliss. The Toy is worn internally, linked to a mobile phone and controlled by sms text messages sent to the phone. Once read, the message is transported automatically to The Toy, which turns it into vibrations - with a huge range of movements, depending on what you have written. Just say what you feel, The Toy will do the rest.

Good Lord. Apparently, you crack off a quick SMS containing a secret six-digit tag which enables the device. Twenty-six letters each have three "different movement profiles" with five speeds and three time settings. This allows 45 possible effects from any single letter and an astounding "7200 variations from a single text message".

No, we haven't really got a clue what that's all about, so let's have a quick shufti at the specs. Suffice it to say, we're talking cutting edge electronics, intelligent CPU and turbo-boost circuitry packed into a throbbing 90mm of can javelin. Oh yes, it also has a 14.5 cm high tensile coated cable antenna which doubles as a handy extractor - a nice touch.

Finally, The Toy is "not discoverable in a Bluetooth search", so there's no chance of your other half being molested by a wireless groper. ®
Click to expand...
 
G

Goosemaster

Lifer
Apr 10, 2001
48,775
3
81
This wuld be great for when the woman won't shut the fvk up about whatever...


just SMS her and the conversations will finally be of interest to us guys:D
 
her209

her209

No Lifer
Oct 11, 2000
56,336
11
0
I don't know if I would want strange men calling up my woman to give her orgasms.
 
thescreensavers

thescreensavers

Diamond Member
Aug 3, 2005
9,916
2
81
I wonder what it will show up as when you serch for it.

edit:I bet the company will recall it at one point becuse it will shock you with electricity or somthing like that.
 
sao123

sao123

Lifer
May 27, 2002
12,653
205
106
Holy Hornball Europeans.... they also have:
the backless thong
internet controlled vibrator

eShoppers get the hots for backless thong
VPL and VTL eliminated. Praise be to the net
By Lester Haines
Published Thursday 28th July 2005 15:13 GMT
Get breaking Reg news straight to your desktop - click here to find out how
In what must be the only story ever to appear on El Reg which can challenge IT-driven material for the sheer weight of TLAs (three-letter acronyms) available to the abbreviation-hungry hack (AHH), UK online lingerie and sex accessory outfit Lovehoney (adult products, natch) has at a stroke eliminated the nightmare of VPL and indeed VTL.

Older readers will remember how women's underwear manufacturers (WUM) battled for years against the scourge of visible panty line - guaranteed to result in ridicule and social exclusion (RSE). Later came the thong, with its own associated visible thong line trauma (TLT)...

The solution? Simple: remove the back of the thong altogether and voila! - backless lingerie for trauma-free partygoing (TFP).

And here's why:

Unprecedented comfort - unlike thongs, Backless Lingerie doesn't ride, wedge or shift. Their soft straps sit snugly below your buttocks, enabling complete freedom. Show your best side at its best - in total comfort.

Yup, the "Backless Lingerie Invisible Thong" (BLIT) is going down a storm with female eShoppers, so much so that it has sold out completely at Lovehoney.

Do not depair, though, we at Vulture Central have the perfect interim solution (PIS): just send us the £9.99 you would have spent on a BLIT and we'll send you absolutely nothing, which will eliminate all trace of VPL and VTL no matter what you wear - guaranteed. ®
Click to expand...




Horny Brits plug into internet vibrator
Net-controlled remote rumpy-pumpy
By Lester Haines
Published Friday 29th July 2005 09:38 GMT
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Right, let's get down to business - you've warmed yourself up with the vibrating knickers, plugged the iPod into the Muff Dock and slipped into the backless thong, but there's still something standing between you and an earth-shattering climax...

Ah yes, your boyfriend is at a data networking conference in Birmingham. But while this would previously have been an insurmountable barrier to sexual intimacy, distance can no longer keep the tech-savvy rumpy-pumpyists from enjoying a private moment together.

Indeed, while less connected couples would have to make do with a bit of solo flying, those with a broadband connection and £79.95 to spare can now avail themselves of the Highjoy Internet Enabled Rabbit, 10.5 inches of non-toxic vinyl rubber net joy which "invites couples to join the online sexual revolution".

Yup, praise be once again to the internet. Here are some of the bangs you get for your bucks:

With your purchase you receive a free membership to HighJoy, the website that enables you to watch and control a partners sex toys from any PC, anywhere in the world!

Whether you spend time away from each other for work, or you just want to meet other like-minded people for true cybersex then this great new innovation is for you.

Naturally, there has to be an IT angle to all this, so here are the system requirements: "Windows 98 or later, serial or USB port, healthy sexual appetite!" Furthermore, those with a purely technical interest in how the Internet Enabled Rabbit actually works are invited to peruse HighJoy's comprehensive user interface tutorial (PDF).

The revolutionary and vibratory Rabbit is available from sextoys.co.uk (motto: "One site fits all"). As the firm's Monique Carty told UK tabloid the Sun: "It brings the most-acclaimed vibrator, the rabbit into the 21st century with a bang." Phwooooar! ®
Click to expand...
 
fleshconsumed

fleshconsumed

Diamond Member
Feb 21, 2002
6,486
2,363
136
Meh, the backless thong is so old, you see it all the time in JAVs... When it comes to sex toys, Japan leads the world. Come to think they lead the world in almost everything :|

BTW, why the hell did they put a serial port on that dildo, was USB so hard to make?
 
C

Crescent13

Diamond Member
Jan 12, 2005
4,793
1
0
Lol!!! Now we wait for somebody to figure out how to hack it. Everything can be hacked, it just takes time...
 
A

AndrewR

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
11,157
0
0
Wouldn't that be awkward in the middle of an important presentation...

"Is the writhing part of the product demonstration?"
 
Zenmervolt

Zenmervolt

Elite member
Oct 22, 2000
24,514
44
91
Originally posted by: sao123
Originally posted by: her209
I don't know if I would want strange men calling up my woman to give her orgasms.
Click to expand...
its password protected.
Click to expand...
I predict that the person who hacks this thing will become an overnight internet legend...

ZV
 
V

Vich

Platinum Member
Apr 11, 2000
2,849
1
0
S

Savij

Diamond Member
Nov 12, 2001
4,233
0
71
Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
Originally posted by: sao123
Originally posted by: her209
I don't know if I would want strange men calling up my woman to give her orgasms.
Click to expand...
its password protected.
Click to expand...
I predict that the person who hacks this thing will become an overnight internet legend...

ZV
Click to expand...

Like the guy who hacked web cams?
 
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