>Blokes' Rules have been made official !!!
>
>1. Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally
>killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
>
>2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
>
>3. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
> > > > >>>>> a. When a heroic dog dies to save it's master
> > > > >>>>>
> > > > >>>>> b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
> > > > >>>>>
> > > > >>>>> c. After wrecking your boss' car.
> > > > >>>>>
> > > > >>>>> d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying
>Game".
> > > > >>>>>
> > > > >>>>> e. When your Date is using her teeth
>
>4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a
>friend out of jail within 12 hours.
>
>5. Acceptable excuse for not helping a friend move
> > > > >>>>> a. Your legs have been severed in a freak threshing
>accident
>
>6. Acceptable excuse for not helping a friend of a friend move:
> > > > >>>>> a. You'd rather stay home and watch Get Smart reruns.
>
>7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
>limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
>
>8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's
>running late is 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time: 6 minutes. For a girl, you
>have
>to wait 10 minutes or every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10
>scale.
>
>9. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a Mate's fridge is
>forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
>
>10. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for
>another man, in fact, even remembering your Mate's birthday is strictly
>optional).
>
>11. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not
>then weakest.
>
>12. While your girlfriend must bond with your Mates' girlfriends
>within 30 minutes of meeting them, you are not required to make nice with
>her
>gal pals' significant dick-heads--- low level sports bonding is all the
>law requires (sorry ladies, it's called a double standard and we drew
>the short straw on that one).
>
>13. Unless you have signed a lucrative endorsement contract, do not
>appear in public wearing more than one swoosh.
>
>14. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you
>may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask
>who's
>playing.
>
>15. You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have
>brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the
>purpose
>of
>flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
>
>16. It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when
>you're sunning on a tropical beach....and it's delivered by a topless
>supermodel...and it's free.
>
>17. Only in situations of Moral and/or Ass peril are you allowed to
>kick another guy in the nuts.
>
>18. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
>
>19. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
>
>20. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem---you didn't see
>nothin'.
>
>21. Women who claim the "love to watch sports" must be treated as
>spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to
>drink as much beer as the other sports watchers.
>
>22. You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death
>of a girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire
>and threw it into a ceiling fan.
>
>23. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must
>remain sober enough to fight.
>
>24. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
>pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.
>
>25. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be
>talking about his choice of beer.
>
>26. Never join your girlfriend or wife in dissing a Mate of yours,
>except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
>
>27. Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while lifting
>weights:
> > > > >>>>> a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
> > > > >>>>>
> > > > >>>>> b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
> > > > >>>>>
> > > > >>>>> c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
> > > > >>>>>
> > > > >>>>> d. Nice Ass, are you a Sagittarius?
>
>28. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal
>footing: both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other
>situations,
>an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
>
>29. Never allow a conversation with a woman to go on longer than
>you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone; Hang up
>if necessary.
>
>30. When a Mate is trying to hook you up, you may sabotage him only
>in a manner that gives you no chance of getting laid either.
>
>31. You cannot rat out a co-worker who shows up at work with a
>massive hangover. You may however, hide the aspirin, smear his chair with
>limburger cheese, turn the brightness dial all the way down so he thinks
>his
>monitor is broken, and have him paged over the loudspeaker every seven
>minutes.
>
>32. The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just a
>friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that your feeling weird
>and
>guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what
>a
>big
>mistake it was.
>
>
>
>
>1. Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally
>killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
>
>2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
>
>3. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
> > > > >>>>> a. When a heroic dog dies to save it's master
> > > > >>>>>
> > > > >>>>> b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
> > > > >>>>>
> > > > >>>>> c. After wrecking your boss' car.
> > > > >>>>>
> > > > >>>>> d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying
>Game".
> > > > >>>>>
> > > > >>>>> e. When your Date is using her teeth
>
>4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a
>friend out of jail within 12 hours.
>
>5. Acceptable excuse for not helping a friend move
> > > > >>>>> a. Your legs have been severed in a freak threshing
>accident
>
>6. Acceptable excuse for not helping a friend of a friend move:
> > > > >>>>> a. You'd rather stay home and watch Get Smart reruns.
>
>7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
>limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
>
>8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's
>running late is 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time: 6 minutes. For a girl, you
>have
>to wait 10 minutes or every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10
>scale.
>
>9. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a Mate's fridge is
>forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
>
>10. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for
>another man, in fact, even remembering your Mate's birthday is strictly
>optional).
>
>11. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not
>then weakest.
>
>12. While your girlfriend must bond with your Mates' girlfriends
>within 30 minutes of meeting them, you are not required to make nice with
>her
>gal pals' significant dick-heads--- low level sports bonding is all the
>law requires (sorry ladies, it's called a double standard and we drew
>the short straw on that one).
>
>13. Unless you have signed a lucrative endorsement contract, do not
>appear in public wearing more than one swoosh.
>
>14. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you
>may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask
>who's
>playing.
>
>15. You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have
>brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the
>purpose
>of
>flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
>
>16. It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when
>you're sunning on a tropical beach....and it's delivered by a topless
>supermodel...and it's free.
>
>17. Only in situations of Moral and/or Ass peril are you allowed to
>kick another guy in the nuts.
>
>18. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
>
>19. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
>
>20. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem---you didn't see
>nothin'.
>
>21. Women who claim the "love to watch sports" must be treated as
>spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to
>drink as much beer as the other sports watchers.
>
>22. You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death
>of a girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire
>and threw it into a ceiling fan.
>
>23. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must
>remain sober enough to fight.
>
>24. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
>pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.
>
>25. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be
>talking about his choice of beer.
>
>26. Never join your girlfriend or wife in dissing a Mate of yours,
>except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
>
>27. Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while lifting
>weights:
> > > > >>>>> a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
> > > > >>>>>
> > > > >>>>> b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
> > > > >>>>>
> > > > >>>>> c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
> > > > >>>>>
> > > > >>>>> d. Nice Ass, are you a Sagittarius?
>
>28. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal
>footing: both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other
>situations,
>an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
>
>29. Never allow a conversation with a woman to go on longer than
>you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone; Hang up
>if necessary.
>
>30. When a Mate is trying to hook you up, you may sabotage him only
>in a manner that gives you no chance of getting laid either.
>
>31. You cannot rat out a co-worker who shows up at work with a
>massive hangover. You may however, hide the aspirin, smear his chair with
>limburger cheese, turn the brightness dial all the way down so he thinks
>his
>monitor is broken, and have him paged over the loudspeaker every seven
>minutes.
>
>32. The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just a
>friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that your feeling weird
>and
>guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what
>a
>big
>mistake it was.
>
>
>
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