Black Friday death and injury predictions

[Kazukian]

I'm predicting 2 deaths and 40-50 injuries

 

[highland145]

Sadlyl. 40%+ obese rate...bouncy balls. Not enough.


I might need to start a BF fat ass league for 60% off if there's a kill.

 

[Red Squirrel]

I'm going to go with 1 death and 7 injuries. Feeling a little optimistic today.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

I'm going to go with 1 death and 7 injuries. Feeling a little optimistic today.

1 death and 7 injuries can happen in a single Wal-Mart. That's too optimistic

3 Deaths and 81 injuries.

 

[shortylickens]

1 dead
200 injured

 

[highland145]

8K dead and no one else cares if they weren't toddlers.

Just sayin'.

 

[Ken g6]

So, did anybody predict the forum as an injury?

 

[highland145]

IDK but I've seen some butt hurt people in P&N. I bet their blood pressure meds are squealing.

 

[Imp]

I heard there was a shooting in California. Some mall brawl is making the news too.

 

[Red Squirrel]

So, did anybody predict the forum as an injury?

Stray bullet from nearby wallmart must have hit the server.

I joke, but this happened at a microwave communication building we monitor during hunting season. A 22 went through the door and right into the SR500 radio. Blew out a bunch of cards lol.

 

[SKORPI0]

A compilation of 2016 Black Friday brawls from around the world
https://www.rt.com/usa/368192-black-friday-shootings-fights/ (more videos)

They need to abolish BLACK FRIDAY shopping....

 

[twinrider1]

Just..wow. 3 of the 4 clips in that video were over soap or toilet paper.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

A compilation of 2016 Black Friday brawls from around the world
https://www.rt.com/usa/368192-black-friday-shootings-fights/ (more videos)

Gotta get me some paper towels yo.

Seriously? Videos like this is more of an illustration of why education is such a problem.

 

[Eug]

^^^ Around the world? Who has Black Friday besides US and Canada? Just wondering.

BTW, the only reason Black Friday is a thing in Canada is because Canadian stores were losing sales from cross-border shopping in the US (especially online in the last decade). Typically the big sale day was Boxing Day, but now we get both Black Friday and Boxing Day for sales.

P.S. This year I bought exactly nothing. Didn't go out shopping and didn't buy anything online.

 

[Eug]

42 Million Dead In Bloodiest Black Friday Weekend On Record

NEW YORK—According to emergency personnel, early estimates indicate that more than 42 million Americans were killed this past weekend in what is now believed to be the bloodiest Black Friday shopping event in history.

First responders reporting from retail stores all across the nation said the record-breaking post-Thanksgiving shopping spree carnage began as early as midnight on Friday, when 13 million shoppers were reportedly trampled, pummeled, burned, stabbed, shot, lanced, and brutally beaten to death while attempting to participate in early holiday sales events.

Law enforcement officials said the bloodbath only escalated throughout the weekend as hordes of savage holiday shoppers began murdering customers at Wal-Mart, Sears, and JCPenney locations nationwide, leaving piles of dismembered and mutilated corpses in their wake.

“The level of bloodshed this year was almost beyond imagination—no prior Black Friday could have prepared us for this,” said National Guard commander Frank Grass, talking to reporters in front of the still-smoldering remains of a local Best Buy that was burned to the ground Saturday. “We had fire trucks, police cruisers, and guardsmen stationed at multiple locations, but it was useless. At the moment, hundreds of thousands of American shoppers are still unaccounted for, and we expect $2 billion in damage has been wrought upon our cities. ”

“The stench of death is unbearable,” a tearful Grass added. “Simply unbearable.”

As the weekend of sales drew to a close, ambulances could be seen circling the now empty and completely ravaged shopping complexes as they searched for signs of life, while clean-up crews worked to clear the rubble, overturned cars, and large pools of blood from local Kohl’s and Macy’s parking lots.

The White House issued an official response, stating, “We mourn the deaths of those 42 million American shoppers who tragically lost their lives this Black Friday.”

Survivors of the deadly holiday sales event said that while the weekend began as a chance to “get in on some unbeatable post-Thanksgiving deals,” it quickly escalated into a merciless, no-hold-barred fight to the death.

“At some point in time we all stopped caring about the deals and the holiday shopping and were pretty much just out for blood,” said Dana Marshall, 37, a Target shopper who suffered seven broken ribs and a cracked sternum while fighting two other customers for a discounted Nikon digital camera. “I remember just sitting on top of a woman and smacking her head with a DVD player until her face was completely unrecognizable. I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

 

[chubbyfatazn]

Fidel Castro died. Does that count?

 

[Red Squirrel]

lol The Onion always delivers.

 

[sportage]

And everybody wants in on the fun

 

[Imp]

Just..wow. 3 of the 4 clips in that video were over soap or toilet paper.

Didn't watch it but local TV keeps showing a clip of people getting "excited" over bath towels. I've been using the same few for years.

 

[Eug]

 

[GagHalfrunt]

And everybody wants in on the fun

See, that's just bad marketing. They need to hold a post Black Friday sale. People will not know if they need to be shopping for funerals until the Black Friday riots are over.

 

[TwiceOver]

Not many "gotta have it deals" year over year. I looked at the deals for what local stores I have and found no reason to go to any of them. Bought some things online.