Just got this in my email, thought I would share it. Warning their might be some interesting language.
Big Ass Snow 2004
by Mr. Wheeler
Twas the night before the snow storm and all through KC
Not a weather man was sleeping, not even Fred Brosky
The TV & radio were spewing the hype
Better get out that shovel and wrap all your pipes
Gary Lezak guaranteed we?ll get at least 8 inches
And maybe enough to bury the fences
When what to my wondering eye should appear
Larry Moore on the tube?like he?s been drinking beer
Smiling and giddy, saying we should get it good
I swear the old goof was sporting some wood
Now we go live to hear from the people
Can the fattest city in the country survive, one day,
without chocolate chip bagels
Price Chopper was jammed with people and carts
In hopes they could get the last box of Pop-tarts
Snowblowers and shovels were off in a fleet
Of course everyone carefully saved their receipt
Overland Park is now on standby with salt and trucks
to lug it
Making sure the use enough to increase next years
budget
The temperature's now falling at 5 degrees an hour
Sure looks like the big one and it's still gaining power
There were updates ON the updates and recaps that followed
All of this crap was getting harder to swallow
Lock up your children and all the you cherish
Leaving the house could cause you to perish
But at the ten o'clock news there's still no sign of precipitation
The weathermen's voices rattled with hesitation
Oh what will we do, they thought, if THIS storm should pass us
We had better think up excuses and cover our asses!
Well it might not hit us now, but make no mistake
We could still see 8 inches or just a few flakes.
Tomorrow as the sun rises one thing's for certain
There will be NO snow when you throw back the curtains!
They call it the river effect or Tonganoxie split
Whatever it is?we didn?t get sh!t!
Oh wouldn?t it be nice if we could all be such knobs
And the next day, get to return to our jobs.
Just once we should get a huge friggin storm
Of biblical proportions, where you?d fight to stay warm.
We would all pull together like birds of a feather
Eating the pets first, saving the children for later.
Could we get through it, we may never know
If only we could get that one big ass snow.
Big Ass Snow 2004
by Mr. Wheeler
Twas the night before the snow storm and all through KC
Not a weather man was sleeping, not even Fred Brosky
The TV & radio were spewing the hype
Better get out that shovel and wrap all your pipes
Gary Lezak guaranteed we?ll get at least 8 inches
And maybe enough to bury the fences
When what to my wondering eye should appear
Larry Moore on the tube?like he?s been drinking beer
Smiling and giddy, saying we should get it good
I swear the old goof was sporting some wood
Now we go live to hear from the people
Can the fattest city in the country survive, one day,
without chocolate chip bagels
Price Chopper was jammed with people and carts
In hopes they could get the last box of Pop-tarts
Snowblowers and shovels were off in a fleet
Of course everyone carefully saved their receipt
Overland Park is now on standby with salt and trucks
to lug it
Making sure the use enough to increase next years
budget
The temperature's now falling at 5 degrees an hour
Sure looks like the big one and it's still gaining power
There were updates ON the updates and recaps that followed
All of this crap was getting harder to swallow
Lock up your children and all the you cherish
Leaving the house could cause you to perish
But at the ten o'clock news there's still no sign of precipitation
The weathermen's voices rattled with hesitation
Oh what will we do, they thought, if THIS storm should pass us
We had better think up excuses and cover our asses!
Well it might not hit us now, but make no mistake
We could still see 8 inches or just a few flakes.
Tomorrow as the sun rises one thing's for certain
There will be NO snow when you throw back the curtains!
They call it the river effect or Tonganoxie split
Whatever it is?we didn?t get sh!t!
Oh wouldn?t it be nice if we could all be such knobs
And the next day, get to return to our jobs.
Just once we should get a huge friggin storm
Of biblical proportions, where you?d fight to stay warm.
We would all pull together like birds of a feather
Eating the pets first, saving the children for later.
Could we get through it, we may never know
If only we could get that one big ass snow.
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