better way to put this sentence? grammar

[jingramm]

This year, we are only giving out holiday cards and no gifts (same as last year) to our employees, and the order has been placed. Once the cards have been received, we will distribute them to each CODi team for distribution to the client. Please let me know if you have any questions.

 

[Crusty]

This year we are not giving out gifts, only holiday cards to our employees. We've already placed the order and once it is received we will distribute them to each CODi team for distribution to the client. Please let me know if you have any questions.

 

[El Guaraguao]

fuck those cards. give them a pizza party or some shit, ya ungrateful rat bastard!

 

[FoBoT]

This year, we only give the holiday cards and gifts (like last year) our employees, and perfume. Once they received certificates, we distribute them to each team, for the distribution of client code. Please let me know if you have questions.

 

[dullard]

This year, we are only giving out holiday cards and no gifts (same as last year) to our employees, and the order has been placed. Once the cards have been received, we will distribute them to each CODi team for distribution to the client. Please let me know if you have any questions.

"This year" - Useless clutter, of course you are talking about this year.

"(same as last year)" - Again, it doesn't add much value to your words.

"only giving out holiday cards and no gifts" - The word "only" implies no gifts.

"and the order has been placed" - Doesn't add anything of value. In fact, it sounds spiteful. "Take that! I don't care what you say! The order has been placed!"

"Once the cards have been received" - You could remove this if you wish. It would be hard to distribute cards before you receive them. So it is implied. I don't think this phrase is too distracting if you decide to leave it in.

You are left with:

We are only giving out holiday cards to our employees. We will distribute them to each CODi team for distribution to the client. Please let me know if you have any questions.

Now, it is still unclear. Are you giving them to employees or are you giving them to clients? I can't tell. If you fix that problem, then you will likely have fixed it all.

 

[calvinbiss]

dullard's version seems to impersonal - like a robot would say.

"Similar to last year, we will be giving out holiday cards to our employees this season. We will distribute them to each CODi team for distribution to the client. Please let me know if you have any questions."

dullard's final question is valid though.

 

[DingDingDao]

Via translationparty.com (which translates to Japanese, back to English, back to Japanese, and so on and so forth until it reaches equilibrium):

This year, our company, the order Horidegifutokado (last year), the employee is not in the same position. One team is one of the two distribution customers of one card is that the distribution of CODi. If you can change something to make me happy to please the next question.

:awe:

Seriously, though, Dullard's seems the best. Just change the first sentence to read, "We are only giving out holiday cards to our clients."

 

[dullard]

dullard's version seems to impersonal - like a robot would say.

"Similar to last year, we will be giving out holiday cards to our employees this season. We will distribute them to each CODi team for distribution to the client. Please let me know if you have any questions."

dullard's final question is valid though.

I will agree that I left it impersonal. But, I had to get there to highlight the problem. After it is fixed, then put in fluff as desired.

 

[daw123]

This year will be the same as last year, where we will be issuing holiday cards instead of gifts to our employees. The order has been placed and once we have received the cards, they will be issued to each CODi team for distribution to our clients. Please let me know if you have any questions.

 

[FoBoT]

Via translationparty.com (which translates to Japanese, back to English, back to Japanese, and so on and so forth until it reaches equilibrium):

This year, our company, the order Horidegifutokado (last year), the employee is not in the same position. One team is one of the two distribution customers of one card is that the distribution of CODi. If you can change something to make me happy to please the next question.

:awe:

i used google.com/translate for mine. i took the original, translated it to Hebrew and then back to English and got what i posted

 

[DingDingDao]

i used google.com/translate for mine. i took the original, translated it to Hebrew and then back to English and got what i posted

I love that yours added perfume :biggrin:

 

[FoBoT]

I love that yours added perfume :biggrin:

do you know what a "Horidegifutokado" is?

 

[PlasmaBomb]

do you know what a "Horidegifutokado" is?

Nope.

 

[DingDingDao]

do you know what a "Horidegifutokado" is?

No, and it doesn't translate in google either. Somehow it got inserted into the sentence around the 9th or 10th switch.

 

[PlasmaBomb]

We are only giving out holiday cards to our employees. We will distribute them to each CODi team for distribution to the client. Please let me know if you have any questions.

We have given a Christmas card for employees. The following example, each team, and agents, each client must be codi distribution. You can change something to be happy to please me the following question: If you.

 

[AyashiKaibutsu]

We're sticking it to you and only giving you cards this year; much like last year. Asking questions will get you on my list.

 

[DingDingDao]

we have given a christmas card for employees. The following example, each team, and agents, each client must be codi distribution. You can change something to be happy to please me the following question: If you.

lol

 

[PlasmaBomb]

lol

You should see the daily notice thread for the notice translationparty style...

 

[DingDingDao]

You should see the daily notice thread for the notice translationparty style...

5 minutes 15 minutes Tuesday, November 25th Thursday 12:15 15,4 12时Forum Saturday, August 00 6,1, low-income private sector, will be held in the first quarter. In this case, during the interregnum, please do not find something more productive. Oh, your bathroom, Tairugurauto, world peace. What is the bus like? Oh, curse, and finally we see our people, after this short break, I thank the good people.

Where the hell did that come from? LOL

 

[nerp]

This year, we are only giving out holiday cards and no gifts (same as last year) to our employees, and the order has been placed. Once the cards have been received, we will distribute them to each CODi team for distribution to the client. Please let me know if you have any questions.

Like last year, we will be giving out holiday cards and no gifts to employees. The order has been placed and once the cards arrive, each CODi team will recieve them for distribution to clients. Let me know if you have any questions.

 

[FoBoT]

ok, here is my office space version

Your holiday gift is the same as your raise this year, zilch. We are going to print out some cards with PrintShop, check your interoffice mail for it later. Happy fricking Festivus.

The Boss

 

[CRXican]

wow, that's pretty bad

 

[Kadarin]

Please be noting of the time this year as we are only to be giving out cards of holiday sans gifts of the same as the year of previous our employees, and placed the order has been. Upon card receives we will of the be distribution to each team of the CODi of the be distribution to client. Please be letting me know of any questions you are having.

 

[bobdole369]

We are only distributing holiday cards in lieu of gifts this year. We will send them to each CODi team for clients, once they cards have been received. The cards have been ordered. Please let me know if you have any questions.

 

[jonks]

Per the Ebonicsfier:

This year, we's iz only giving out holiday cards an' nahh gifts (same as last year) ta our employees, an' da order has been placed. Once da cards gots been received, we's will distribute dem ta each CODi team fo' distribution ta da client. Please let me know if ya gots any questions. ya'll is mad stupid.