Best emergency equipment?

[Jaepheth]

I would like to put together a series of display cases for my room that have "In case of <X> Break Glass"

What items are best?

Examples:

AK-47 - "In Case of Revolution, Break Glass"
alternative Red Dawn option: "In case of Russian Paratroopers, Break Glass"

Machete and gas mask - "In case of Zombies, Break Glass"

Crowbar - "In case of Resonance Cascade, Break Glass"

Wooden Stake/Holy Water/Crucifix - "In Case of Vampires, Break Glass"

Towel - "In case of Planetary Demolition, Break Glass"

 

[xanis]

Condom - "In (unlikely) case of female, break glass"

 

[MotF Bane]

Blow Up Doll - "In case of unexpected "urges", break glass."

 

[IronWing]

Bible - In case of reason...

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

screen saver: In case of Goatse...

 

[IronWing]

Protractor, a ruler, a piece string - In case of alien starship packed with atomic bombs, break glass.

 

[ivan2]

Replacement Glass - In case of broken glass, break glass.

 

[l0cke]

Clothes - In case you are naked, break glass

 

[GodlessAstronomer]

Replacement Glass - In case of broken glass, break glass.

 

[l0cke]

Alternator - In case of beef measurement

 

[RocksteadyDotNet]

Yeah, you forgot to not do that.

 

[Dominato3r]

Chloroform

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

In case of thirst, break glass...no wait!

 

[zerocool84]

Replacement Glass - In case of broken glass, break glass.

/thread

 

[911paramedic]

Nike shoes - Hale-Bopp comet

 

[brainhulk]

Condom - "In (unlikely) case of female, break glass"

and hope condom does not break