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Best Computer jokes out there?

L

LordRaiden

Banned
Ok, since we've already done a general jokes thread, how about one for Computer Jokes? 🙂 I'll start out with one of my favorites.

"Who's General Protection and what's he doing to my computer?" 😀
 
i don't actually have a joke, but some of the people here at RIT are living, breathing jokes. Some people don't leave their rooms for days, and they spend their weekend nights playing CS or programming, you gotta see it to believe it.
 
Wow, true geeks! 😀

Totally addicted to CS and then some. hehe. I used to do that a lot. Then I got a job. Now I do it at work instead of home. 😀😱😀:Q😀
 
Originally posted by: yobarman
i don't actually have a joke, but some of the people here at RIT are living, breathing jokes. Some people don't leave their rooms for days, and they spend their weekend nights playing CS or programming, you gotta see it to believe it.
Click to expand...

yep, one of the many reasons I didn't go to RIT. Too much brick also. Gracies all you can eat was pretty good though.

oh, I dont have a joke, sorry
 
old joke.


some1 call tech support and told the tech guy he/she got a virus. Tech guy want a copy of the virus on floppy so he/she photocopy the floppy.
 
when asking to close all the windows and hit the re-start button
i have heard that a lady actually went closed all the windows in her room
and then she hit the computer re-start button
 
Originally posted by: LordRaiden
Ok, since we've already done a general jokes thread, how about one for Computer Jokes? 🙂 I'll start out with one of my favorites.

"Who's General Protection and what's he doing to my computer?" 😀
Click to expand...

I knew him when he was a colonel.

 
From Computer Stupidities

A lady's power supply was smoking, so she rang tech support and asked, "Is there a fire in the file server room? Because it's smoking at my end.


😀
 
Bill Gates' Eternity

Bill Gates dies and goes to hell. Satan greets him, "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever."

Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured.

He then takes him to a massive colosseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions.

Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a beautiful young blonde with an alluring look on her face, sitting at a table on which there is a bottle of the finest wine. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option."

"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room.

Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer.

"That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all?"

"That's what everyone thinks," snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it and the girl hasn't."

"What about the PC?"

"It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys."

"Which three?"

"Control, Alt and Delete."

 
This sounds like something that my parents would come up with:
I saw two older looking ladies trying to figure out the computers at a local store. I knew one of them would say something that I could send to Computer Stupidities, so I tried to listen in.

* Woman 1: "What is that little trash can on the screen?"
* Woman 2: "My son says that is call the 'recycle bin'. He tells me when I don't want a Word document anymore and I delete it, it really goes in there."
* Woman 1: "Why in the recycle thingy? Can't you just erase it?"
* Woman 2: "Oh no, Word wouldn't work for very long if I did that, I would run out of blank pages."
* Woman 1: "Why?"
* Woman 2: "Because it cleans the words off the pages, then sends the blank sheets back to Word so they can be used again. That's why it's called the recycle bin."
Click to expand...
 
Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin, and Bill Gates were called in by God. God informed them that he was very unhappy about what was going on in this world. Since things were so bad, he told the three that he was destroying the Earth in 3 days.
They were all allowed to return to their homes and businesses, and tell their friends and colleagues what was happening. God did tell them though, that no matter what they did he was "not"changing his mind. So, . .
Bill Clinton went in and told his staff, "I have good news and bad news for you. First the good news . . . there "is" a God. The bad news is that he is destroying the Earth in 3 days."
Boris Yeltsin went back and told his staff, "I have bad news and more bad news. The first was . . . there "is" a God. The second was that he is destroying the Earth in 3 days."
Bill Gates went back and told his staff, "I have good news and good news. First . . . God thinks I am one of the three most important people in the world. Second . . . you don't have to fix the bugs in Windows 98
 
Customer: "I installed Windows 98 on my computer, and it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Ok, what happens when you turn on your computer?"
Customer: "Boy, are you listening? I said it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Well, what happens when you TRY to turn it on?"
Customer: "Look, I'm not a computer person. Talk regular English, not this computer talk, ok?"
Tech Support: "Ok, let's assume your computer is turned off, and you just sat down in front of it, and want to use it. What do you do?"
Customer: "Don't talk like I'm stupid, boy. I turn it on."
Tech Support: "And then what happens?"
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech Support: "Does anything appear on your monitor? I mean, the TV part."
Customer: "The same thing I saw last time I tried."
Tech Support: "And that is what?"
Customer: "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
Tech Support: "Yes, sir. What is on your screen?"
Customer: "A bunch of little pictures."
Tech Support: "Ok, in the upper left corner, do you see 'My Computer'."
Customer: "No, all I see is that little red circle thing with the chunk out of it."
Tech Support: "You mean an apple?"
Customer: "I guess it kind of looks like an apple."
 
And then:

A friend worked for a company that made IC's. Every few months, their yields would go down to about zero. Analysis of the failures showed all sorts of organic material was introduced in the process, but they couldn't figure out where. One evening, someone was working late and came into the lab. There he found the maintainence crew cooking pizza in the chip curing ovens!

 
Bill Gates and General Motors

Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.

"If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."

"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"



 
Originally posted by: yobarman
i don't actually have a joke, but some of the people here at RIT are living, breathing jokes. Some people don't leave their rooms for days, and they spend their weekend nights playing CS or programming, you gotta see it to believe it.
Click to expand...

Let me guess, they post on ATOT?
 
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