Being black sucks (at least for me)

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skyking

Lifer
Nov 21, 2001
22,126
4,922
146
Originally posted by: yellowperil
The problem is not with overt racists. Those kind of people are easy to spot and decried by (almost) all.

I cannot count how many times I have been in the presence (or more accurately, absence) of a certain group of people and the group begins to "talk". People who say they are not prejudiced, in the absence of social pressure and strangers, show their true colors. These are individuals who have accepted tolerance (as in putting up with) of other races but do not appreciate diversity. In other words they've superficially accepted the notion that racism is bad and people shouldn't be discriminated against based on skin color but when they're by themselves they make some of the most vile generalizations I ever heard. I think it happens a lot more common than people think. I've heard it in every place I've worked among employees, and general social settings. One person will make a comment, then another will support him/her, and then all the sudden it becomes a bitch-fest. As soon as someone objects that person will be criticized for being PC. Overhearing stuff like that makes me self-conscious as hell. Call me over-sensitive and thin-skinned but it's hard to look at strangers the same way once you've heard the things they're thinking.
Well said.
Our friend's 10 year old let slip "the n word" when referring to a classmate, and revealed the kind of talk that happens in their household when we are not around. the parents know our sentiments and the fact that we are offended by such talk. A 10 year old will screw up and let you know what is still going on there. Her mother took her outside to talk to her about it, but you know she learned that it was acceptable from her parents. I was not there, my wife was. She was mortifed.
These are intelligent people, and it eludes me why they do not have the discipline to bring their child up in a manner that will help her in the future. They are ignorant to just how much they are cheating and handicapping her for life.

 

BarMan

Banned
Jan 4, 2001
1,204
0
0
There are no stereotypes

yet there is peer pressure and financial status

the two things that REALLY make a person.

Lower class, middle class, and upper class.
Just think about it really.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,967
19
81
I try to be non-racist, but in today's society it's hard to not be a little (things like 'that black guy over there')

That said, I have found the same people that complain about discrimination, also discriminate themselves....so they invalidate their own complaints. You can't be pissed you didn't get a job, when you yourself slight others of another race.

 

specktre

Member
Dec 27, 2002
147
0
0
No stereotyping going on here.

I always type in stereo

(lame):confused:
rolleye.gif
:Q:(
 

Spamela

Diamond Member
Oct 30, 2000
3,859
0
76
Originally posted by: alkemyst
I try to be non-racist, but in today's society it's hard to not be a little (things like 'that black guy over there')

That said, I have found the same people that complain about discrimination, also discriminate themselves....so they invalidate their own complaints. You can't be pissed you didn't get a job, when you yourself slight others of another race.

people aren't born especially conscious of race or color, they are socialized to be that way.
 

Amused

Elite Member
Apr 14, 2001
55,920
14,195
146
Originally posted by: Spamela
Originally posted by: alkemyst
I try to be non-racist, but in today's society it's hard to not be a little (things like 'that black guy over there')

That said, I have found the same people that complain about discrimination, also discriminate themselves....so they invalidate their own complaints. You can't be pissed you didn't get a job, when you yourself slight others of another race.

people aren't born especially conscious of race or color, they are socialized to be that way.

You know, I hear this a lot... but that begs the question, if racism is purely a learned thing, who taught the first racist?
 

Spamela

Diamond Member
Oct 30, 2000
3,859
0
76
Originally posted by: Amused
Originally posted by: Spamela
Originally posted by: alkemyst
I try to be non-racist, but in today's society it's hard to not be a little (things like 'that black guy over there')

That said, I have found the same people that complain about discrimination, also discriminate themselves....so they invalidate their own complaints. You can't be pissed you didn't get a job, when you yourself slight others of another race.

people aren't born especially conscious of race or color, they are socialized to be that way.

You know, I hear this a lot... but that begs the question, if racism is purely a learned thing, who taught the first racist?

one could ask that about just about anything, so i don't think it's a very meaningful question.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,967
19
81
Originally posted by: Spamela
Originally posted by: alkemyst
I try to be non-racist, but in today's society it's hard to not be a little (things like 'that black guy over there')

That said, I have found the same people that complain about discrimination, also discriminate themselves....so they invalidate their own complaints. You can't be pissed you didn't get a job, when you yourself slight others of another race.

people aren't born especially conscious of race or color, they are socialized to be that way.

I agree with you on the majority of it...however, since it's the 'chicken and the egg' arguement, I would still place good money on someone starting discrimination against another that didn't 'look' like them (without outside influence).

 

Arkitech

Diamond Member
Apr 13, 2000
8,356
3
76
Originally posted by: AnyMal
who cares what other people think? just chill and be yourself

sometimes it goes beyond just what people think, when someone spits at you or throws beer cans in your direction and all you're doing is walking down the streets its kinda hard to ignore it
 

Kerouactivist

Diamond Member
Jul 12, 2001
4,665
0
76
Originally posted by: xirtam
Some people are retarded. Ok, most.

If you live your life for them, you'll miss out on living life for you. There's just so much you can do to improve the quality of somebody else's life. Conversations and relationships are two-way streets... you can do your part, but there is a limit.

Just be yourself, and those worthy of your friendship will take note of you for who you are.

Couldn't have said it better myself follow this advice.
 

Muse

Lifer
Jul 11, 2001
37,666
8,187
136
Originally posted by: Arkitech
I usually try to not let it get to me but its tough sometimes. Just a few weeks ago my wife and I were looking at some new homes in a new subdivision in a suburb of Chicago and the lady who was showing the homes actually told us "would'nt you be more comfortable living in an area with your own kind". I was so mad that I just left without saying a word. It would be so nice if people were treated by their actions instead of appearances.
That lady was very stupid and ignorant. I can really understand your being mad about that, and I don't blame you for walking. It's the only thing I can imagine doing in that circumstance. I'm a minority (Jewish) but people can't see I'm Jewish so it's a lot different. However, even being Jewish you can feel really different from other people - Jews have somewhat different values from the Christian majority in America. I'm sure you know that Jews have had their share of persecution. I think it's really important for everyone to realize that the color of your skin and ethnicity in general says nothing about your quality as a person. America has been populated by immigrants. If you take into consideration that even American Indians immigrated here across the Aleutian Straits some thousands of years ago, everyone you see in America is an immigrant. America is a sum of minorities. America without any one of its minorities would be less of what it is. However, I think that America would be diminished more by losing it's black Americans than by losing any other minority. Yes, I think black Americans are something very special. Every minority in America hangs onto something that differentiates them from the others. For most, it's a heritage of customs from the "old country", religious rituals, customs, loyalties, nostalgia, identification with country of origin, etc. Blacks were the one minority that were introduced here against their will. They were therefore deprived of their attachment to their former location, at least in the normal sense. Thus, Casius Clay spurned his "slave name" and took on a new name (Muhamed Ali) based on his heritage and newly adopted religion. However, I think that black Americans, in not having the same attachment to their past represent to a large extent the finest development of the American character. American blacks by and large chose names they decided they could live with. I assume this is how most got their names. Maybe some were given their names by their slaveowners, I don't know. However, they didn't have their African names, they didn't bring their names with them when they came here. I think that's very symbolic of the difference between black Americans and other Americans. However, as such, the black American represents a very noble destiny - that of transcending the past, which is something that everyone has to do to reach a higher level of existence. Yes, America would be more diminished by losing its black citizens than by the loss of any other minority. I think that the finest hopes for America are inextricably entwined with the hopes and destiny of its black citizenry.
 

Being black sucks (at least for me)

But if you're black you can get into the U of M without meeting the requirements that others have to meet. So maybe being black isn't so bad.

:) Kidding. Not being black, I can't really relate, but I know how stereotypes go, and they do hurt sometimes. Just take this as an opportunity to be extra nice and hold all the doors for people in your office to show them that their assumptions about you are completely unfounded.
 

Amused

Elite Member
Apr 14, 2001
55,920
14,195
146
Originally posted by: Spamela
Originally posted by: Amused
Originally posted by: Spamela
Originally posted by: alkemyst
I try to be non-racist, but in today's society it's hard to not be a little (things like 'that black guy over there')

That said, I have found the same people that complain about discrimination, also discriminate themselves....so they invalidate their own complaints. You can't be pissed you didn't get a job, when you yourself slight others of another race.

people aren't born especially conscious of race or color, they are socialized to be that way.

You know, I hear this a lot... but that begs the question, if racism is purely a learned thing, who taught the first racist?

one could ask that about just about anything, so i don't think it's a very meaningful question.

I think it is meaningful. Be it a "herding" instinct, or familiarity thing, humans tend to gravitate toward that which is like them, and fear that which is not. To simplistically say "racism is learned" is to ignore other, less obvious but more insidious causes. Kids, left to their own devices, will form subdivisions amongst themselves with no one teaching them how.

There are many natural things within us we must suppress, or overcome to build a civil society. This is, in part, one of them.
 

amnesiac

Lifer
Oct 13, 1999
15,781
1
71
I think a lot of it depends on your geographical area. Here in LA we have, well, a lot of black people. I have several black friends. I have never known any of them to be discriminated against or stereotyped.
 

Muse

Lifer
Jul 11, 2001
37,666
8,187
136
Originally posted by: amnesiac
I think a lot of it depends on your geographical area. Here in LA we have, well, a lot of black people. I have several black friends. I have never known any of them to be discriminated against or stereotyped.
Very true. And it depends a lot on what scenes you are seeing, "socio-economic" status, what your situation is. Like Alan Ginsberg said in Reality Sandwiches, "we all eat reality sandwiches, don't hide the madness."
 

Siddhartha

Lifer
Oct 17, 1999
12,502
1
81
You can not base who you are, how you feel about yourself, and your self-worth on what other people think.

PM me.
 

heartsurgeon

Diamond Member
Aug 18, 2001
4,260
0
0
time to grow up and quit thinking everything is race based..

people can be just plain mean..
women can be just plain strange (hormones we don't have)
people are jealous
people are envious
people are stupid
people are self-centered

when your in the "workplace" you will meet all sorts of people - some will like you, some will think you are the devil.
it doesn't really matter -
you gotta be proud of yourself, don't worry about others..
you've only got to answer to God..
 

Muse

Lifer
Jul 11, 2001
37,666
8,187
136
Originally posted by: heartsurgeon
time to grow up and quit thinking everything is race based..

people can be just plain mean..
women can be just plain strange (hormones we don't have)
people are jealous
people are envious
people are stupid
people are self-centered

when your in the "workplace" you will meet all sorts of people - some will like you, some will think you are the devil.
it doesn't really matter -
you gotta be proud of yourself, don't worry about others..
you've only got to answer to God..
Cool stuff, Heartsurgeon. Your sig:
"Should ever a wise man walk this Earth, you will know him by this sign... there will be a confederacy of dunces against him" - Jonathan Swift

brings to mind something said by Mark Cuban, billionaire and owner of the Dallas Mavericks and a maverick in his own right - he said that whenever a lot of people are saying he shouldn't do this, shouldn't do that, etc. etc. etc. he knows he's doing OK!

 

sxr7171

Diamond Member
Jun 21, 2002
5,079
40
91
Originally posted by: Arkitech
I usually try to not let it get to me but its tough sometimes. Just a few weeks ago my wife and I were looking at some new homes in a new subdivision in a suburb of Chicago and the lady who was showing the homes actually told us "would'nt you be more comfortable living in an area with your own kind". I was so mad that I just left without saying a word. It would be so nice if people were treated by their actions instead of appearances.

It is people like the bitch that said that to you who tend to claim to not be racist. She probably thought she was doing you a favor by trying to get to live with "people of your own kind." The sad thing is that we are absolutely powerless against racism like that, because people like that don't even think they are racist. There is no cure for stupid people and it sucks.
 

BlitzRommel

Golden Member
Dec 13, 1999
1,529
0
0
EDIT: I read the thread. hehe

I haven't read anyone else's reply before making mine. I didn't want to, honeslty.

I just wanted to say these are some things theories of ethnicity can really do. You have experienced negative effects of having ethnicity internally enforced and externally imposed -- your color has become a badge of distinction for most. :( It's internally enforced in that your co-worker calls you a sell-out because you don't use slang. You will agree just as much as I do when I say that just because you're black doesn't mean you're restricted to certain types of music. And of course, your ethnicity is being externally imposed by those who refuse to talk to you and the like because you're black.

I do hate it when people stereotype. As you know, here in Chicago, there's a LOT of segregation, but there's also suburbs where I see all cultures co-existing together, especially in the southren 'burbs. But also, many blacks do fit the typical stereotypes. It makes it harder to not stereotype people, but I suceed. I cannot be judgemental on things I don't have all the information on.

Look at it this way -- you're doing a good job of being your own self. The hell with everyone's reaction to you. They're obviously weak people who can't have an open mind and avoid stereotyping.

Originally posted by: Arkitech
Somedays I feel like I come from another planet. I'm not black enough for some people and not white enough for others.

One of my co-workers (who is black) labeled me a sell-out because I did'nt use slang and I listened to rock music every now and then. Another co-worker of mine (who is white) once told me that some of the other people in the office were intimidated by me. That really floored me because 98% of the time I'm always in a good mood. I always go out of my way to hold a door for someone or just try to greet people in my work area. But yet some people still refuse to talk me if I say good afternoon, certain women hold their purses tighter when I get on the elevator. Its maddening, I just wish people would see me for a human being instead of a black guy.


and before anyone asks, no I do not:

wear braided hair
drive a vehicle with flashy rims and tinted windows
listen to Nelly, 50 Cents, Ja Rule and whoever the latest thug rapper currently is
use ebonics
smoke weed/grass
blast music while driving
wear extremely baggy pants that fall off of my waist
wear shirts with the designers name imprinted on the front or back
sell drugs
have a parole officer

 

RGN

Diamond Member
Feb 24, 2000
6,623
6
81
Originally posted by: Arkitech
I usually try to not let it get to me but its tough sometimes. Just a few weeks ago my wife and I were looking at some new homes in a new subdivision in a suburb of Chicago and the lady who was showing the homes actually told us "would'nt you be more comfortable living in an area with your own kind". I was so mad that I just left without saying a word. It would be so nice if people were treated by their actions instead of appearances.

wow, I'm not the kind that rats out people, but that is not right. I would have had her job for that. I hope to hell that wasn't my town (Gurnee - send me a pm if it was).

There are white trash and black trash, and I treat both the same. I inherently respect all individuals, and command that same respect back. I'm sorry for what you have to go through, its not fair, not right and very hard to live with.

Other than that, I don't know what to say....