Beer vs. Poon-tang

[quackagator]

Beer vs. Poon-Tang Finally, the truth is calculated and cannot be disputed.


Beer is always wet.
Poon-Tang needs encouragement.
Winner: BeerBeer tastes horrible served hot.
Poon-Tang tastes better served hot.
Winner: Poon-Tang

Having an ice cold Beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold Poon-Tang makes you Hillary Clinton.
Winner: Beer

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Poon-Tang does not.
Winner: None

If you get a hair in your teeth consuming Poon-Tang, you are not disgusted.
Winner: Poon-Tang

Twenty-four Beers come in a box.
Poon-Tang is a box you can come in.
Winner: Poon-Tang

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
Winner: Poon-Tang

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
Winner: Beer

If you come home smelling like Beer, the layd may get mad.
If you come home smelling like Poon-Tang, she will definitely get mad.
Winner: Beer

Six Beers in a night and you better not drive.
Six Poon-Tangs in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
Winner: Poon-Tang

Buy too much Beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much Poon-Tang and you will get poor.
Winner: None

It is socially acceptable to have a Beer in the stands at a football game.
Getting Poon-Tang in the stands at a football game makes you a legend.
Winner: Poon-Tang

If a cop smells Beer on your breath, you get a arrested..
If a cop smells Poon-Tang on your breath, you get a high-five.
Winner: Poon-Tang

With Beer, bigger is better.
Winner: Beer

Wearing a condom does not make Beer any less enjoyable.
Winner: Beer

Poon-Tang makes you see God.
Beer makes you see the porcelain God.
Winner: Poon-Tang

If you think all day about your next Poon-Tang you are normal.
If you think all day about your next Beer you are an alcoholic.
Winner: Poon-Tang

Peeling labels off of Beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of Poon-Tang is more fun.
Winner: Poon-Tang

Snagging Beer at work gets you fired.
Snagging Poon-Tang at work gets you charged with sexual harassment.
Winner: None

If you drop a Beer it breaks.
If you drop Poon-Tang, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Winner: Beer

If you change to another Beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
Winner: Beer

The best Poon-Tang you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Winner: Poon-Tang.

The worst Poon-Tang you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Winner: Beer

Bad Beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill.
Bad Poon-Tang: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Winner: None

Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, Killian's Red
Good Poon-Tang: Almost all but the above.
Winner: Poon-Tang

The government taxes Beer.
Woman tax their Poon.
Winner: None

Too much Beer results in a headache.
Too much Poon-Tang results in a Willie-ache, but that's a good kind of ache!
Winner: Poon-Tang

Grab the wrong Beer and your drinking buddy gets pissed.
Grab the wrong Poon-Tang and her boyfriend kicks your ass!
Winner: Beer

Beer=10
Poon-Tang=13

The numbers never lie. The winner is Poon-Tang!

 

[Jhill]

Beer AND poon-tang is where it's at.

 

[iwearnosox]

Originally posted by: Jhill
Beer AND poon-tang is where it's at.

That can be a deadly, regrettable combination. I only have one arm, I gnawed the other one off in a horrible incident a while back...

 

[Nyical]

Lock vs ban

 

[Hooligan]

Originally posted by: iwearnosox

Originally posted by: Jhill
Beer AND poon-tang is where it's at.

Those can be a deadly, regrettable combination. I only have one arm, I gnawed the other one off in a horrible incident a while back...

infection?

 

[Vortex22]

HAHAHA

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.

Eww... gross.

 

[gregshin]

he doesnt derserve a ban

btw...poon > all

 

[TheChort]

youre not supposed to actually calculate this stuff!

its like knowing where hamburgers and potato chips come from, it takes all the fun out of it.

 

[ROTC1983]

 

[nativesunshine]

Originally posted by: Nyical
Lock vs ban

I vote for both. Heh..

Just what we were thinking.

AnandTech Moderator

 

[TallBill]

i vote for chocolate milk and sex

 

[touchmyichi]

has quackagator ever even gotten poon lol

 

[SKORPI0]

Or you can have your beer and poon-tang at the same time. :beer:

Poontang
- 3/4 shot(s) Bacardi O
- 1/4 shot(s) Grand Marnier
- 1/2 can(s) Red Bull
- 1 splash(es) Orange Juice


Directions/Comments: Bacardi O and Grand Marnier into a shot glass, Red Bull and OJ into a pint, drop and shoot.

 

[Looney]

I'll like to get a handjob by a milkmaid one of these days... i mean, somebody who spends their day milking cows and churning butter, MUST give good handjobs.... now where can i find some milkmaids... the Amish?

 

[wnied]

I smell a lock.

~wnied~

 

[tkim]

If you get a hair in your teeth consuming Poon-Tang, you are not disgusted.

uhhh...no... hair in my teeeth is nasty... i cant stand when that happens.... the only thing worse is getting it in ur throat... i truly know what cats feel like.

 

[yobarman]

Originally posted by: Nyical
Lock vs ban

douche vs bad vs shut up!


anyways, funny ass list! poontang always wins!