Hold on there slugger, I didn't say that quality is subjective. The "quality" of a beer can be objectively measured against an arbitrary set of standards for what is good quality. If a quality beer should not contain rice, then a beer containing rice is low quality. Fine, I haven't said anything to the contrary.
I'm talking about taste. There is a difference between taste and quality, though I'm not sure you understand that since you seemed to use them interchangeably right now. A better quality beer doesn't necessarily taste better than a lower quality beer, because taste is subjective.
I like milk chocolate; I don't like dark chocolate. You can give me the highest quality dark chocolate money can buy, and I'd still rather eat a Hershey's milk chocolate bar. I just prefer the taste of milk chocolate - dark chocolate is too bitter for me, just like pretty much every expensive beer I've had (except Hoegaarden and similar). Chocolate snobs prefer dark chocolate, I can't stand it.
I drink Miller Lite or Rolling Rock because I prefer the taste. I have tasted other beers and I have subjectively judged Miller Lite and Rolling Rock to taste better. My preference. I won't dispute that there are higher quality beers, but that's not my issue with beer snobs. My issue is that beer snobs say I'm not supposed to prefer the taste of Miller Lite to their beers. If you can suggest a quality beer that tastes similar to Miller Lite (or MGD) or Rolling Rock, I'd happily try it as long as I can find it locally. Don't care about price, I don't drink cheap beer because of the price. I would actually like suggestions, just don't suggest something that tastes bitter.
Those are both low quality American adjunct lagers. They are objectively bad because of the ingredients and manufacturing processes used to make them. They have very little flavor and taste watery. There are many, many, many better lagers out there that don't have hoppy bitterness (I assume that this is the taste that turns you off). Instead of being defensive, you should say "I l like Miller lite, rolling rock, and Hoegaarden. What are some good beers to try?"
You shouldn't let your dislike for bitterness get in the way of enjoying good beer.
Everyone has their things that they are more into than most people. One of yours is beer; mine are pizza and board games. I can see real parallels between board games and beer. I look at what people like me pick as the 10 best board games of all time, and 8 of them are games that I wouldn't even consider trying to play with most people. And I wouldn't consider playing Monopoly myself. But the thing is, we don't expect everyone to like our games. I'd call them better "quality" games, but your enjoyment of a game is based on your taste - which is subjective. A lot of people enjoy Monopoly or Risk. They aren't wrong. And if they played Agricola, there's a good chance they'd want to go back to Monopoly.
As someone who has had a few board game nerd friends and played some of the better games (I've loved the few games of settlers of catan I've played), I would say that someone who likes risk over other strategy games, at the very least, has "unrefined taste." I will readily admit to being a board game neophyte, with less educated tastes than a board game nerd such as yourself. And I would NEVER argue with you that Candy Land is comparable to a good German board game. In fact, I would ask for advice and seek knowledge about board games from you and your ilk. See, the difference here is that I am willing to admit that my taste in board games isn't as developed as yours, because I haven't spent the time to educate myself on the topic.
Now, if a board game 'snob' went to a social gathering and said "Monopoly sucks, I'm not playing it," then they are just assholes with no social skills.
The thing that bugs me about beer snobs is that they act like they'd rather drink out of a urinal than drink my Miller Lite. Since you said you'll drink "shitty rice beer" I don't think I'd call you a beer snob.
I really would like some recommendations if there are quality beers that a Miller Lite drinker is likely to enjoy.
Since you like lagers without a lot of hops, I would recommend you try German Pilsners, which have less of a hop bitterness than their Czech counterparts. Here is a good list:
http://beeradvocate.com/articles/216 -- Read through the blurbs and avoid the ones with that say that they have a lot of hop flavor. Warsteiner is definitely a good one to start out with, because it isn't too expensive and isn't bitter, at all.
You said that you like Hoegaarden. That is a pretty decent Belgian Witbier (a belgian style wheat beer). I'm not too familiar with Witbiers, but here is a list of them with ratings:
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/48
I'm more familiar with the south german style wheat beer, hefeweizen, which is similar (obviously, they're wheat based). It's sweet and not bitter. Two good & easy to find examples are Franziskaner & Sierra Nevada Kellerweis Hefeweizen. Here's a good list:
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/89
You can also look into Belgian Pale Ales, which are MUCH less bitter than many of the faddish, overhopped (and very bitter) American Pale Ales.
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/55 &
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/54. Duvel, though expensive, is heaven. It is sweet and creamy, not bitter.