Beating your children: Whats so wrong?

[videogames101]

Maybe posting someone else's picture could help with your anger...

How old are you?

I'm not trying to mock you, I really want to know what generation you're a part of.

 

[BoberFett]

And contrary to popular belief, parents don't have all the answers.

Jerks like shadow9d9 think they do.

People like him are the problem with society. There are two types of people. People that know they don't have all the answers, and people who think they do. People that know they don't have all the answers don't try to foist their ignorance on everyone else. People that think they do have all the answers try to make the rest of us live like them.

 

[MonKENy]

I work for a facility that treats court ordered child batterers, parenting, co parenting, Anger Management, Victims awareness, substance abuse, and domestic violence offenders (perpetration and victims)

OP you are severely ignorant to your own issues, you need to seek professional help, seriously. If you think pulling a child's hair, or physically abusing them is in any way shape or form ok.

I am seriously contemplating reporting you, if you think that behavior is acceptable I have a strong suspicion you are using it on your own kids.

that being said

here are the laws on spanking

http://kidjacked.com/legal/spanking_law.asp#california

It is 100% legal to spank your children, You have to do it pretty specific. If you leave a mark that lasts longer than a minute or two...you hit to hard

You hit them anywhere other than the butt, or a slap on the hand, its pretty much out of the question.

I have no problems with occasional spankings. They do need to be used as a LAST tactic not a first. Children are far from stupid. If you try talking with your kids and explaining things you will more often than not get alot farther than hitting.

You get the added benefit of making your child do more than just fear an action, you get them to understand and rationalize an action.

What my experience? I am a father of a very polite and warm hearted 12 year old, Ive only spanked once or twice before he could talk. And only because what he did was dangerous (playing with an electrical outlet) and I think I may have just slapped his hand.

We see oh I dont know, several thousand clients in the same boat a year. No thats not exaggerating. We do 23 classes all with a minimum of 13 people per class a week, 52 weeks a year and thats just 1 type of class.

You know what happens? 80% of the people come in realize its not ok. We had a state study done on all the programs like us. We were the highest rated. Other facilities had around a 40% success rate of non recidivism.

We have an 80% success rate. People were tracked over a several year period following their completions from the programs.

 

[lyssword]

I think we can all agree there's a difference between a parent who lightly spanks a kid a few times, but otherwise is a loving and supportive VS. a parent who sets off on slightest occassions and kicks the kid to the ground and then gives 50 hard belt lashes for a minor mistake by the kid.

Also, the psychologists will tell you that not all kids require the same punishment, usually the more sensitive kids learn to correct their mistakes with far smaller amount of punishment

Some studies against violence vs children:
physical punishment was associated with higher levels of aggression against parents, siblings, peers and spouses,

children who get spanked have lower IQs

childhood mistreatment primes brain for mental illness

bullying and child abuse hastens aging process later in life

 

[BoberFett]

OP you are severely ignorant to your own issues, you need to seek professional help, seriously. If you think pulling a child's hair, or physically abusing them is in any way shape or form ok.

I am seriously contemplating reporting you, if you think that behavior is acceptable I have a strong suspicion you are using it on your own kids.

Go play in traffic, you ignorant, illiterate jackass.

 

[techs]

Beating your wife: Whats so wrong?

Hmm. That's how I equate it.

 

[Mixolydian]

Everyone should just beat everyone. Problem solved.

 

[lyssword]

Beating your wife: Whats so wrong?

Hmm. That's how I equate it.

Immanuel Kant moral philosophy

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Ya know MonKENy, it's bad enough that the government thinks it has to define what constitutes child abuse. The part that really pisses me off is the government ceding daily decision making and interpretation of the laws to piss poor understaffed organizations made up of people who either couldn't find better paying jobs elsewhere or, worse, the kind who believe they have a mandate to "do what's best for the children."

 

[MaxPayne63]

Ya know MonKENy, it's bad enough that the government thinks it has to define what constitutes child abuse. The part that really pisses me off is the government ceding daily decision making and interpretation of the laws to piss poor understaffed organizations made up of people who either couldn't find better paying jobs elsewhere or, worse, the kind who believe they have a mandate to "do what's best for the children."

Didn't you hear?

Children are a social resource. Far too important to leave in the hands of parents.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Didn't you hear?

Children are a social resource. Far too important to leave in the hands of parents.

It must be true if the majority think so.

 

[MonKENy]

Go play in traffic, you ignorant, illiterate jackass.

Thank you for your well reasoned and thought provoking argument. You have shown me the folly of my thinking. I have never been so privileged to see such a cognitive and perfectly articulated juxtaposition to my own thoughts. I will go back through my life and review all the, what I know know to be, mistakes ive made in my life.

Ya know MonKENy, it's bad enough that the government thinks it has to define what constitutes child abuse. The part that really pisses me off is the government ceding daily decision making and interpretation of the laws to piss poor understaffed organizations made up of people who either couldn't find better paying jobs elsewhere or, worse, the kind who believe they have a mandate to "do what's best for the children."

Im glad you know so much about my organization. You must truly be a savant to be able to tell, not only how well we are staffed, but also the quality and pay of each and every clinician we have at our facility having no idea of not only our name, but of any distinguishable characteristic at all.. I am truly humbled by the magnificence I am surrounded by in this thread.

You are more than welcome to come test your assessments at any time. We will be happy to let you sit in on some of the groups and see for yourself how accurate you are. When someone is graced with such truth and knowledge as yourself it must be allowed to be reveled in and admired.

But no, the ones of you who attack the people who feel violence should not be used in the home clearly do not have any issues. You guys are so mature and well rounded. None of you have acted out or lashed out at all.

Seriously, Anyone who wants to come see or facility is welcome too.

 

[MaxPayne63]

Thank you for your well reasoned and thought provoking argument. You have shown me the folly of my thinking. I have never been so privileged to see such a cognitive and perfectly articulated juxtaposition to my own thoughts. I will go back through my life and review all the, what I know know to be, mistakes ive made in my life.




Im glad you know so much about my organization. You must truly be a savant to be able to tell, not only how well we are staffed, but also the quality and pay of each and every clinician we have at our facility having no idea of not only our name, but of any distinguishable characteristic at all.. I am truly humbled by the magnificence I am surrounded by in this thread.

...

You threatened to report someone for child abuse based on a post where they stated they did not have children. You don't get to play the enlightened, intelligent and literate card, sorry.

 

[MonKENy]

If you suspect someone of beating their kids what would you do?

You have a neighbor, they have a dog.

You look across the yard and see that dog lying in the grass. It looks like its a skeleton, literally like skin dried on bone. Its not moving. You assume its dead.

Finally you see it has the shallowest breath.

You never see the neighbor anywhere around the dog.

Would you assume the dog is in good shape and well taken care of? Or do you assume its neglected to the point of pain? Would you ignore that? If not than why would you ignore the possibility that a person who advocates the abuse of children not be abusing his child? And if you suspect that may be the case why would you not report something that could very well save a child's life?

How many cases of death by child abuse do you hear about every year?

How many posts have members on this board posted where some child was severely abused, or killed that made everyone's stomach turn?

Why would you take the chance that its "not" going to happen again? Just because he posts here, he cant be some piece of shit that beats his kids daily?

I'm not saying he is. I'm not even saying I am going to report him. Just that he raises red flags. Now he knows I'm keeping an eye out. Maybe hes just a super troll who likes to stir up shit? I don't know. I'm just making myself aware is all.

 

[MaxPayne63]

Why would you take the chance that its "not" going to happen again? Just because he posts her? He cant be some piece of shit that beats his kids daily?

I'm not saying he is. I'm not even saying I am going to report him. Just that he raises red flags. Now he knows I'm keeping an eye out. Maybe hes just a super troll who likes to stir up shit? I don't know. I'm just making myself aware is all.

I am not saying that I am going to "abuse" my child when and if I do have some, but I am also not saying that hitting your child is wrong. There obviously is a line that defines what hitting your child is vs bruising and battering them and putting them in medical distress. Once again, I just don't understand why this practice is frowned upon, anyone care to chime in? Feel free.

Do those 'red flags' for people that beat their children include having children? I'm just making myself aware, is all.

 

[MonKENy]

Do those 'red flags' for people that beat their children include having children? I'm just making myself aware, is all.

Ok granted, but that still doesnt make me any more confident that he will not fall into the cycle of abuse. It was an observation made that I stand by in any circumstance.

So if he did have children would you still be refuting me?

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Ok granted, but that still doesnt make me any more confident that he will not fall into the cycle of abuse. It was an observation made that I stand by in any circumstance.

So if he did have children would you still be refuting me?

Save it for people who have to listen to your preconceived, pre packaged drivel.
We do not need your help.
We do not need to be educated in child abuse.
We do not need your insight.
And, we especially don't need your overbearing blather on what constitutes child abuse.

 

[MaxPayne63]

No true internet white knight is ever deterred by the lack of a problem when they have a prepackaged, one size fits all solution.

 

[zinfamous]

I was beat as a child, I deserved it, and without it I would 100% be dead or in jail. "times out" didn't work for me, as didn't long ass lectures. I'm glad I was beat as a child.

I, too, am glad you were beat as a child.

:hmm:

 

[BoberFett]

Thank you for your well reasoned and thought provoking argument. You have shown me the folly of my thinking. I have never been so privileged to see such a cognitive and perfectly articulated juxtaposition to my own thoughts. I will go back through my life and review all the, what I know know to be, mistakes ive made in my life.

Start with literacy, fool.

First, the word "I've" is capitalized and contains an apostrophe.

Secondly, the OP never said abuse is OK, but was merely inquiring about how things that used to be considered normal suddenly got reclassified as "abuse" because despite his receiving that treatment, clearly does not feel abused.

Finally, the OP stated:

I am not saying that I am going to "abuse" my child when and if I do have some,

so when you replied:

OP you are severely ignorant to your own issues, you need to seek professional help, seriously. If you think pulling a child's hair, or physically abusing them is in any way shape or form ok.

I am seriously contemplating reporting you, if you think that behavior is acceptable I have a strong suspicion you are using it on your own kids.

it means you didn't even read the post.

You're exactly the kind of ignorant, self-righteous, know-it-all piece of crap I would expect to work for CPS.

 

[dabuddha]

Thank you for your well reasoned and thought provoking argument. You have shown me the folly of my thinking. I have never been so privileged to see such a cognitive and perfectly articulated juxtaposition to my own thoughts. I will go back through my life and review all the, what I know know to be, mistakes ive made in my life.




Im glad you know so much about my organization. You must truly be a savant to be able to tell, not only how well we are staffed, but also the quality and pay of each and every clinician we have at our facility having no idea of not only our name, but of any distinguishable characteristic at all.. I am truly humbled by the magnificence I am surrounded by in this thread.

You are more than welcome to come test your assessments at any time. We will be happy to let you sit in on some of the groups and see for yourself how accurate you are. When someone is graced with such truth and knowledge as yourself it must be allowed to be reveled in and admired.

But no, the ones of you who attack the people who feel violence should not be used in the home clearly do not have any issues. You guys are so mature and well rounded. None of you have acted out or lashed out at all.

Seriously, Anyone who wants to come see or facility is welcome too.

Wow you're an idiot. What is the name of the organization you work for? One of the biggest problems with our society today is the god damned government not letting parents parent their children. Case and point, look at how our society is these days and we have organizations like yours to thank