Bar Stories

JoeKing

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
10,641
1
81
I was exchanging bar tales with a bartender friend I know and since I put so much time into typing it out I thought I'd share it with you guys. Please feel free to share yours

*names and locations have been changed to protect the inebriated*
spelling and grammer sucks so live with it.
-------------

I used to do a lot of interning in college back in CA with radio and tv stations, trying to get some real world experience with my degree. lotta help

that did right? but I digress.

So I landed an internship with one of the the best stations in town. used to be an alt/modern rock station that most of the college crew dug. I would go out and do remote live broadcasts at local bars during the day you know "coming to you live from the Crazy Wrench" and such. I was never on air I just helped setup booths and carried a bunch of equipment around. grunt work mostly.

But one of the perks was I got to know the bouncers and bartenders pretty well during the day so I could get in later on in the night without having to wait in a long ass line. sorta made me and my "posse" look pimp since we got to hop the the velvet ropes when the bouncers waved us through.

One night I went out solo cause I really didn't feel like going to a shin dig the rest of my buds wanted to check out. I went to one of my favorite hole in the wall bars where I was pretty good friends with the bartenders and got my drinks quick (you bartenders don't serve me liquor quick enough!). My plan was to get piss drunk pretty quick so I could go crash the party later and make my friends look like ass... wow seemed like a good plan at the time. so I order a double shot of jager, followed by an irish car bomb, then a jager bomb to really get me going. $4 jager night every thurs at Normal rocks!

As I'm drinking the jager bomb and starting to feel the shots I notice these two girls (I call them girls because they're obviously not 21 probably 18-19 year old freshmen using their older sisters liscencs) sitting next to me. I can see they're gonna be pledges soon, probably lib arts majors...

hmm me likey right? So I buy them an adios motherfvcker, more or less a neon blue long island this bar is normally known for the teas it makes, and get to talking. You know hi, how are yeah, what's your major blah blah blah. btw one was a lib arts major the other was a buisniess major... what can I say my spidey sense were a little off I was starting to feel the car bomb by then. Then they ask how come on I got to cut through the line like that to get in. "Cause I work with the radio station" I tell them. "are you a DJ?!" they ask excitedly.


Comon Coop
you know me...


"Yup I do the mid morning show every Wendsday and Thurs"

"cool!"

I'm done with my jager bomb by then, they buy me another of the same... cool! but damn I'm asian and that stuff gets to you.

See one of the bartendars working that night was Randy a guy I knew pretty well and usually bullsh1t with, I guess he'd been listening in on the conversation. "yeah? I thought phil did the midmorning shifts?" he pipes in

man is grinning up a storm

okay damage control

"Actually I just started going on air last week but I've been doing remotes for a while" I glare

"oh yeah now I remeber... hey joe you know our regular DJ couldn't come in today, do you think you could cue up some songs for us on the board?"

motherfvcker!


Balls deep right coop? well here I am neck deep in my web of lies.
I knew I was more or less hosed with the girls as they listened to our exchange with some confusion on their faces, but screw it BALLS DEEP!


Sure I'll put up a few songs Randy, red bull and liquor fueling me. Dick looked suprised for an instant I was hoping he'd back down, he didn't.

"lemme just go ask the manager if that's alright" oh god please let the manager say no

"go ahead he says"

mothertrucker

manager is laughing his ass off in the back.

I go up to the dj stand thinking I'm asian I can figure this out. I get there and WTF is this crap?! The sound system was fvcking ancient with 3 cd players and a mixer and a switch board. a-holes had been playing premade mix cds. Screw this ****** I think I don't have the mad skills. I look up from the mountain of cds, gone are the girls, randick and the rest of the bartendars along with a few regulars are standing there grinning they're ass off. I'm pretty drunk and getting pissed. So I rifle through the cds find one to use load it up hit play and I wobble out of there as Karma Chameleon starts playing. Ha take that a-holes!

I later found out one of the girls was Randicks sister.

no bullshitting either I went back there the next day to get my card cause I forgot it behind the bar when I left. At least he didn't charge me the teas.


*cliff notes*
graphic description of wild college bar orgy with sorority girls.
 

Red Dawn

Elite Member
Jun 4, 2001
57,529
3
0
Originally posted by: JoeKing
I was exchanging bar tales with a bartender friend I know and since I put so much time into typing it out I thought I'd share it with you guys. Please feel free to share yours

*names and locations have been changed to protect the inebriated*
spelling and grammer sucks so live with it.
-------------

I used to do a lot of interning in college back in CA with radio and tv stations, trying to get some real world experience with my degree. lotta help

that did right? but I digress.

So I landed an internship with one of the the best stations in town. used to be an alt/modern rock station that most of the college crew dug. I would go out and do remote live broadcasts at local bars during the day you know "coming to you live from the Crazy Wrench" and such. I was never on air I just helped setup booths and carried a bunch of equipment around. grunt work mostly.

But one of the perks was I got to know the bouncers and bartenders pretty well during the day so I could get in later on in the night without having to wait in a long ass line. sorta made me and my "posse" look pimp since we got to hop the the velvet ropes when the bouncers waved us through.

One night I went out solo cause I really didn't feel like going to a shin dig the rest of my buds wanted to check out. I went to one of my favorite hole in the wall bars where I was pretty good friends with the bartenders and got my drinks quick (you bartenders don't serve me liquor quick enough!). My plan was to get piss drunk pretty quick so I could go crash the party later and make my friends look like ass... wow seemed like a good plan at the time. so I order a double shot of jager, followed by an irish car bomb, then a jager bomb to really get me going. $4 jager night every thurs at Normal rocks!

As I'm drinking the jager bomb and starting to feel the shots I notice these two girls (I call them girls because they're obviously not 21 probably 18-19 year old freshmen using their older sisters liscencs) sitting next to me. I can see they're gonna be pledges soon, probably lib arts majors...

hmm me likey right? So I buy them an adios motherfvcker, more or less a neon blue long island this bar is normally known for the teas it makes, and get to talking. You know hi, how are yeah, what's your major blah blah blah. btw one was a lib arts major the other was a buisniess major... what can I say my spidey sense were a little off I was starting to feel the car bomb by then. Then they ask how come on I got to cut through the line like that to get in. "Cause I work with the radio station" I tell them. "are you a DJ?!" they ask excitedly.


Comon Coop
you know me...


"Yup I do the mid morning show every Wendsday and Thurs"

"cool!"

I'm done with my jager bomb by then, they buy me another of the same... cool! but damn I'm asian and that stuff gets to you.

See one of the bartendars working that night was Randy a guy I knew pretty well and usually bullsh1t with, I guess he'd been listening in on the conversation. "yeah? I thought phil did the midmorning shifts?" he pipes in

man is grinning up a storm

okay damage control

"Actually I just started going on air last week but I've been doing remotes for a while" I glare

"oh yeah now I remeber... hey joe you know our regular DJ couldn't come in today, do you think you could cue up some songs for us on the board?"

motherfvcker!


Balls deep right coop? well here I am neck deep in my web of lies.
I knew I was more or less hosed with the girls as they listened to our exchange with some confusion on their faces, but screw it BALLS DEEP!


Sure I'll put up a few songs Randy, red bull and liquor fueling me. Dick looked suprised for an instant I was hoping he'd back down, he didn't.

"lemme just go ask the manager if that's alright" oh god please let the manager say no

"go ahead he says"

mothertrucker

manager is laughing his ass off in the back.

I go up to the dj stand thinking I'm asian I can figure this out. I get there and WTF is this crap?! The sound system was fvcking ancient with 3 cd players and a mixer and a switch board. a-holes had been playing premade mix cds. Screw this ****** I think I don't have the mad skills. I look up from the mountain of cds, gone are the girls, randick and the rest of the bartendars along with a few regulars are standing there grinning they're ass off. I'm pretty drunk and getting pissed. So I rifle through the cds find one to use load it up hit play and I wobble out of there as Karma Chameleon starts playing. Ha take that a-holes!

I later found out one of the girls was Randicks sister.

no bullshitting either I went back there the next day to get my card cause I forgot it behind the bar when I left. At least he didn't charge me the teas.


*cliff notes*
graphic description of wild college bar orgy with sorority girls.
I'm sober and that story sucked, I can just imagine how boring it would be if I was half in the bag at a bar
 

rh71

No Lifer
Aug 28, 2001
52,844
1,049
126
I read the long version but didn't see any "orgy" in there.
 

Wapp

Golden Member
Jun 5, 2003
1,648
0
0
Why are bar stories all the same? "So I was getting super drunk and..."
 

Scarpozzi

Lifer
Jun 13, 2000
26,391
1,780
126
One time I walked into a bar packed with sorority girls, cheerleaders, and volleyball players. They were all HOT!!! I drank a beer and went home with EVERY GIRL THERE. It was great.

/thread
 

PingSpike

Lifer
Feb 25, 2004
21,751
595
126
Originally posted by: Red Dawn
Originally posted by: JoeKing
snip
I'm sober and that story sucked, I can just imagine how boring it would be if I was half in the bag at a bar

Thats one of the great things about the bars, its usually so fvcking loud you can't hear these kinds of stories anyway.