Badly behaved little children
- Thread starter melly
- Start date
jlee
Lifer
- Sep 12, 2001
- 48,518
- 223
- 106
Parents and how they do their job, IMO.
Not to brag or anything, but our family has been complimented multiple times on our behaviour...we are homeschooled (I'm in college now, but I was homeschooled), and my mother stays at home.
Edit: Enviroment/surroundings can obviously affect it as well..but I honestly think that parents have a lot to do with it. Kinda tough when most people have their kids in school all day..
Not to brag or anything, but our family has been complimented multiple times on our behaviour...we are homeschooled (I'm in college now, but I was homeschooled), and my mother stays at home.
Edit: Enviroment/surroundings can obviously affect it as well..but I honestly think that parents have a lot to do with it. Kinda tough when most people have their kids in school all day..
it's hard to say. you can say the parents, but then you can blame that on *their* parents, and so on. but the buck has to stop somewhere.
Parents not doing their job.
Anyone can have a kid. No skill involved. A great many don't accept the responsibility of raising them properly.
Anyone can have a kid. No skill involved. A great many don't accept the responsibility of raising them properly.
i disagree. it's not that *everybody* is trying to pin the blame on someone else, it's that *parents* are trying to do so. in many low income neighborhoods, you will find a few households that are raising their children properly... making sure their children do well in school, are well behaved, etc. are we to think that this is just random chance? or perhaps, could it be that these parents are actually *gasp* doing their job?
i disagree. it's not that *everybody* is trying to pin the blame on someone else, it's that *parents* are trying to do so. in many high income neighborhoods, you will find a few households that are raising their children properly... making sure their children do well in school, are well behaved, etc. are we to think that this is just random chance? or perhaps, could it be that these parents are actually *gasp* doing their job?
It certainly is convenient to blame the parents, and I guess in the final analysis it is their fault.
It's also tough to give kids all the attention and guidance they need and deserve when both parents are working to keep a roof over their head and food on the table.
My six siblings and I had the luxury of growing up in a lower middle income home with a stay at home Mom, but not everyone does.
It's also tough to give kids all the attention and guidance they need and deserve when both parents are working to keep a roof over their head and food on the table.
My six siblings and I had the luxury of growing up in a lower middle income home with a stay at home Mom, but not everyone does.
I work in a somewhat public environment, and merely observe all the nonsense going on. Parents are not keeping an eye on their children, the kids are running loose, bumping into stuff, entering areas clearly marked where they shouldn't be, screaming at the tops of their lungs, etc etc. How easy it would have been for a total stranger to snatch them up in the blink of an eye, I thought, if it were a shopping mall or amusement park. I also had to wonder how these parents do not respect other people who are around, nonetheless the employees. The truth is those parents probably did not want to be bothered.
It's the parents. My wife and I are always getting praise from other people about how well-behaved our six-year-old son is. In his case I think it's a combination of good parenting on our part as well as our son's tender heart - it really upsets him to know that others are not pleased with him.
Then there are the kids in our neighborhood. I'm so glad the apartment complex we live in is only a temporary, six month lease because this is no place that I'd want to raise a child. Why? Because of the other children in it! The only two parents who come outside on a regular basis to check on their kids is myself and another girl's mother. Emily and my son are the only two children in this neighborhood who appear to have parents that care about them.
The rest of the kids never have parents who come and check on them, they never have respect for other parents - like when I tell them to stop throwing rocks - and they will stay outside long after we've called our son to come inside for the evening. We will have elementary-age kids, kids not much older than our son, knocking on our door at 9:00 at night asking if our son can come out and play! WTH? Don't these kid's parents set curfews? And why don't they make it their buisness to know what their kids are doing and where they are at?
And then the attitudes of some of these parents! Once I had to go over to another building and knock on the apartment door of some of the neighborhood kids. These kids were hanging out at our building and I was the only parent around monitoring their behavior since my son was out there too. All day I was telling them not to do things, like throwing rocks, taking my son's toys, bullying the other kids, etc. until finally I had enough. But when I try to nicely ask the kid's parents to do something about their kids because they are at my building and not listing to what I say, they start yelling at me! Imagine that! Their punk-ass kids are ruining my son's playtime and they want to yell at me!
My son was with me and I didn't care to have him see his dad fight with other parents or even be around that hostile atmosphere, so I just walked away. I decided then and there that if it continues to be a problem I would just call the police and have them talk to these kid's parents. Fortunately school started shortly after that so they don't have as much time for trouble-making and I haven't had to get the police involved yet.
So yeah, it's the parents fault...the bastards!
Then there are the kids in our neighborhood. I'm so glad the apartment complex we live in is only a temporary, six month lease because this is no place that I'd want to raise a child. Why? Because of the other children in it! The only two parents who come outside on a regular basis to check on their kids is myself and another girl's mother. Emily and my son are the only two children in this neighborhood who appear to have parents that care about them.
The rest of the kids never have parents who come and check on them, they never have respect for other parents - like when I tell them to stop throwing rocks - and they will stay outside long after we've called our son to come inside for the evening. We will have elementary-age kids, kids not much older than our son, knocking on our door at 9:00 at night asking if our son can come out and play! WTH? Don't these kid's parents set curfews? And why don't they make it their buisness to know what their kids are doing and where they are at?
And then the attitudes of some of these parents! Once I had to go over to another building and knock on the apartment door of some of the neighborhood kids. These kids were hanging out at our building and I was the only parent around monitoring their behavior since my son was out there too. All day I was telling them not to do things, like throwing rocks, taking my son's toys, bullying the other kids, etc. until finally I had enough. But when I try to nicely ask the kid's parents to do something about their kids because they are at my building and not listing to what I say, they start yelling at me! Imagine that! Their punk-ass kids are ruining my son's playtime and they want to yell at me!
My son was with me and I didn't care to have him see his dad fight with other parents or even be around that hostile atmosphere, so I just walked away. I decided then and there that if it continues to be a problem I would just call the police and have them talk to these kid's parents. Fortunately school started shortly after that so they don't have as much time for trouble-making and I haven't had to get the police involved yet.
So yeah, it's the parents fault...the bastards!
Part of it is genetics and environment, that part has been established. Depending on certain inborn factors and the conditions that the child grows up in, he/she can be more prone to certain things such as social disorders, etc.
But the vast majority of behavioral problems are due to parenting. So many people have kids and have no time, no will, or no clue as to how to take care of them. There should be parenting licenses IMO.
But the vast majority of behavioral problems are due to parenting. So many people have kids and have no time, no will, or no clue as to how to take care of them. There should be parenting licenses IMO.
BD231
Lifer
- Feb 26, 2001
- 10,568
- 138
- 106
The majority of ill mannered kids I see have parents that have some type of character flaw. Some parents are lazy sleeze ball's, others just couldn't give a sh*t about their kid, some are violent. It's almost always the parents fault. But there are many kids out there that are sh*t heads from the very start regardless, so you cant really lay a finger down.
I hope you were being sarcastic. I let my son play some of the same games I like to play, UT, RTCW, Operation Flashpoint and others and yet he is still well-behaved. It's not the games themselves that are at fault for corupting a childs behavior, it's the lack of parental guidance while being exposed to the violent content. My son understands that what goes on in these games are just make-belive; in real life guns hurt people and end lives. We have discussions about it and I can tell he understands.
My parents raised ny brother and I very similarly. I went through high school in honors classes, getting As and Bs, learned a lot about cars and computers, went to college, and I now have a job I like and I support myself in my own place.
My brother went through high school with Cs and Ds, not because he couldn't do better, but because he didn't care to. He's been arrested at least twice, just got off probation, hasn't taught himself any useful skills, and knows more about different types of marajuana than almost any other subject. He attends a few classes at a community college so that he can still live with my parents rent free.
So, why did my brother mess up so bad (he has gotten a bit better lately, though. Hopefully he gets his act together pretty soon), while I didn't? It wasn't the parenting.
My brother went through high school with Cs and Ds, not because he couldn't do better, but because he didn't care to. He's been arrested at least twice, just got off probation, hasn't taught himself any useful skills, and knows more about different types of marajuana than almost any other subject. He attends a few classes at a community college so that he can still live with my parents rent free.
So, why did my brother mess up so bad (he has gotten a bit better lately, though. Hopefully he gets his act together pretty soon), while I didn't? It wasn't the parenting.
well....
if your brother was younger, it could have been that your parents were not as anxious to do a good job on him. many younger siblings i know are less well behaved than their older siblings. i think this is for the same reason my younger dog is less behaved than my older dog (we got lazy on training her).
if your brother is older, you could have quite possibly learned from his mistakes, as your parents could have too.
BD231
Lifer
- Feb 26, 2001
- 10,568
- 138
- 106
Caramel is referring to "little children", not grown men. What your talking about is the "in crowed" and "out crowed" highschool mess that kids get sucked into. Your bro wanted in, and kids who are "in" get in trouble. While you were studying he was out getting drunk and laid. Bad choices on his part, nothing to do with being a 4 year old hell raiser.
Well, the worst stuff he did was in high school, but the behavior problems extends back at least until the 6th grade or so, possibly even late elementary school.
If we're only talking about 2-6 year old kids, then I don't know.
I can't imagine anyone had to bother asking this question. The answer should be obvious.
. In rare cases, there are totally incorrigible children. All others are due to bad parenting - period. For those cases, I support 'youthanasia' to age 13--if they haven't demonstrated that they will be an asset to society by then, whether it be from nature OR nurture, put them to sleep like a feral cat and prevent the trauma and expense they will cause others in the future. This policy would reduce bad parenting dramatically!
.bh.
:Q
. In rare cases, there are totally incorrigible children. All others are due to bad parenting - period. For those cases, I support 'youthanasia' to age 13--if they haven't demonstrated that they will be an asset to society by then, whether it be from nature OR nurture, put them to sleep like a feral cat and prevent the trauma and expense they will cause others in the future. This policy would reduce bad parenting dramatically!
.bh.
:Q
datalink7
Lifer
- Jan 23, 2001
- 16,765
- 6
- 81
Same with my parents. Me and my sisters were mostly all well behaved in public, and for the most part at home (I have actually never fought with my parents, ever, if you will believe that :Q (I'm 20)). Some of my sisters would be bratty at home, but not all the time and they would be great in public.
I think part of it is that my parents always made sure someone was at home. They made an agreement when I was born (oldest). For the first 9 years, my mom would be at home and my dad would work. The next 9 years my dad would be at home and my mom would work.
It was a pretty good system. Sure, my parents made plenty of mistakes (who doesn't?), but on the whole did real well. Everyone was homeschooled during middle school, and went to public schools during the rest of the time. We were never really hit. Only a few times, and never for the pain but for suprise factor. I was only hit once, on the bottom when I was like 2, for running in the street. My mom wanted to make sure that I never did that again... and I didn't
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