- Feb 26, 2000
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These are from a song I'm listening to called "Bad Jokes" from the Prairie Home Companion Original Soundtrack feel free to pitch some you know 
.
The blind man's Seeing Eye dog pissed on the blind man's shoe
the blind man said "here rover, here's a piece of beef for you."
His wife said "don't reward him; you can't just let that pass."
The blind man said "I have to find his mouth"
"So I can kick him in the ass"
When GOD created woman,
he gave her not two breasts but three
when the middle one got in the way GOD performed surgery.
The woman stood before GOD with the middle breast in hand.
She said "What do we do with the useless boob?"
and GOD created man.
Gramps turned 80 the other day, and everybody was there,
And he was dressed up in a brand new suit sitting in his big arm chair.
When beautiful young naked woman stood up in front of the group
She offered gramps some soup for sex and he said "I'll take the soup!"
Olly went to the neighborhood dance and he won the big door prize.
Was a toilet brush and he took it home.
Next week one of the guys said "Olly how's that toilet brush, the one you won from the neighbors?" Olly said "Oh it works pretty good, but I prefer toilet paper."
The Farmer had a champion bull that bread 200 times a year. The farmer?s wife said "200 times isn't that wonderful dear. Maybe you ought to watch him; maybe he'll show you how"
Farmer said "He's a heck of a bull but it wasn't all with the same cow."
Question: Did you hear about the Viagra shipment that got stolen?
Response: No, who they think did it?
Answer: Well they don't know, but they?re on the lookout for hardened criminals
Svin said to his friend "Oh I think my wife died"
His friend said "What do you mean you think?"
Svin said "Well the sex is still the same, but the dishes are stackin up."
Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?
Yep, it runs in your jeans.
Why do they call it PMS?
Because Mad Cow was already taken
What do you get when you cross holy water with castor oil?
A religious movement.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"It's cute but can you really breathe through that thing?"
.The blind man's Seeing Eye dog pissed on the blind man's shoe
the blind man said "here rover, here's a piece of beef for you."
His wife said "don't reward him; you can't just let that pass."
The blind man said "I have to find his mouth"
"So I can kick him in the ass"
When GOD created woman,
he gave her not two breasts but three
when the middle one got in the way GOD performed surgery.
The woman stood before GOD with the middle breast in hand.
She said "What do we do with the useless boob?"
and GOD created man.
Gramps turned 80 the other day, and everybody was there,
And he was dressed up in a brand new suit sitting in his big arm chair.
When beautiful young naked woman stood up in front of the group
She offered gramps some soup for sex and he said "I'll take the soup!"
Olly went to the neighborhood dance and he won the big door prize.
Was a toilet brush and he took it home.
Next week one of the guys said "Olly how's that toilet brush, the one you won from the neighbors?" Olly said "Oh it works pretty good, but I prefer toilet paper."
The Farmer had a champion bull that bread 200 times a year. The farmer?s wife said "200 times isn't that wonderful dear. Maybe you ought to watch him; maybe he'll show you how"
Farmer said "He's a heck of a bull but it wasn't all with the same cow."
Question: Did you hear about the Viagra shipment that got stolen?
Response: No, who they think did it?
Answer: Well they don't know, but they?re on the lookout for hardened criminals
Svin said to his friend "Oh I think my wife died"
His friend said "What do you mean you think?"
Svin said "Well the sex is still the same, but the dishes are stackin up."
Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?
Yep, it runs in your jeans.
Why do they call it PMS?
Because Mad Cow was already taken
What do you get when you cross holy water with castor oil?
A religious movement.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"It's cute but can you really breathe through that thing?"
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