So, he tried to kill and eat a "kitty", cat gave him toxoplasmosis, which then upped his testosterone and risk-taking, so he decides to bunjee jump off a cliff, gets injured, is saved by medical experts, and is now posting on Anandtech.
Or he was dining on a different "kitty", then realize the lass had some bacterial STI, panicked, and got antibiotics, and is all well now.
Or, he ticked off another vegetarian date and she hired a hitman to take him out for one too many Chicken Tikka Masalas eaten.
(I keep tabs, and I have a decent memory

).