ATTN: Hipsters. if your thin/scrawny pale. A lumberjack beard looks bad on you.

[mmntech]

¿Por qué no los dos?

"Modern Woodsman". Bet he never even got beyond Beaver Scouts.

 

[vi edit]

beards are so in these days. Almost everyone has them. But the upkeep on them must be crazy

Nah it's easy. That's what I love about them. I spend about 5 minutes a week in facial hair maintenance. With a beard it's no big deal if you have some stubble on your neck. It takes me about 2 minutes in the shower 2x a week to touch up my cheeks and neck. Use a beard trimmer about every 1.5 weeks to cull the length.

Lots of room for error and laziness.

 

[Ruptga]

Nah it's easy. That's what I love about them. I spend about 5 minutes a week in facial hair maintenance. With a beard it's no big deal if you have some stubble on your neck. It takes me about 2 minutes in the shower 2x a week to touch up my cheeks and neck. Use a beard trimmer about every 1.5 weeks to cull the length.

Lots of room for error and laziness.

Yeah, about once per week I trim mine with a #1 or #2 guard, then I take the guard off and shave my mustache and neck. I never bother with razors unless I have somewhere "official" (stuffy) to be, and I'm always done within ten minutes. Being blonde helps though, if my hair were dark it would be more noticeable and I'd probably need to touch up twice per week.

 

[angminas]

Can't be bothered to write a title that isn't sloppy, bitchy, and lazy, but you want to advise other people on how they appear to the world? Lol.

 

[TwiceOver]

#2 looks like your average Joe guy. The other three look like twat waffles.

 

[FerrelGeek]

All hipsters look awful in every piece of hipster uniform. That's the point, they're monumentally unattractive people who are trying to look even worse intentionally so they can pretend their lack of physical appeal is done ironically.

Not to mention that they've had way too much influence on the craft / micro-brew beer market. Way too many IPAs now. I love a nice IPA in the summer, but the companies seem to be trying to outdo each other in over-hopping to satisfy these rejects. You might just as well drink concentrated fermented grapefruit juice.

 

[NetWareHead]

Not to mention that they've had way too much influence on the craft / micro-brew beer market. Way too many IPAs now. I love a nice IPA in the summer, but the companies seem to be trying to outdo each other in over-hopping to satisfy these rejects. You might just as well drink concentrated fermented grapefruit juice.

This...man so this. I love a good IPA but for the last few years it has been a contest who can overhop their beers to the point of disgust. Eventually it becomes a number, who has the most bitterness units and no balance.

 

[Atomic Playboy]

Not to mention that they've had way too much influence on the craft / micro-brew beer market. Way too many IPAs now. I love a nice IPA in the summer, but the companies seem to be trying to outdo each other in over-hopping to satisfy these rejects. You might just as well drink concentrated fermented grapefruit juice.

That's the hipster way; they intentionally seek out things that nobody could possibly like so they can feel morally superior. A good IPA is a thing of beauty, but hipsters aren't happy unless it tastes like sucking Pine-Sol through a gym sock. True story; Bridgeport Brewing, the company responsible for reviving the IPA style in the mid-90s with their Gold-medal winning IPA, received judges' tasting notes at a 2009 beer competition that their IPA was "not true to style" because it wasn't 100+ IBUs.

 

[Newell Steamer]

Chicks don't dig it, yet these guys get laid all the time.

What, you think that hepatitis came from all the needle usage? Well, how do you explain the gonorrhea and crabs?

 

[BoberFett]

Not to mention that they've had way too much influence on the craft / micro-brew beer market. Way too many IPAs now. I love a nice IPA in the summer, but the companies seem to be trying to outdo each other in over-hopping to satisfy these rejects. You might just as well drink concentrated fermented grapefruit juice.

Grapefruit juice actually makes for a nice mellow IPA. Try Ballast Point Grapefruit Sculpin.

 

[BurnItDwn]

beards are so in these days. Almost everyone has them. But the upkeep on them must be crazy

I spend about 5-10 minutes a month trimming.

I used to shave my neck every couple days, but I always got ingrown hairs there, so I let the neck beard grow as well.

 

[zephyrprime]

Chicks don't dig it, yet these guys get laid all the time.

Chicks do dig it. It's all about image for chicks. Superficial is reality for chicks. Having some sort of image is better than being generic by a mile as far as chicks are concerned.

 

[Hugo Drax]

Chicks do dig it. It's all about image for chicks. Superficial is reality for chicks. Having some sort of image is better than being generic by a mile as far as chicks are concerned.

But the image of someone who just survived malnutrition and lived under a bridge does not seem like a good image.

 

[destrekor]

I couldn't grow a beard to save my life.

But it would be a classy one if I could, a normal, everyman type of beard. Not something a hipster would sport. I couldn't do that.

 

[Platypus]

beards are so in these days. Almost everyone has them. But the upkeep on them must be crazy

Quite the opposite in my experience, my hair grows fast and thick.. I spend like 10-15 minutes a month if that on upkeep. I keep it trim and occasionally clean up neck/cheek area with a razor.

That certainly beats spending ~5 minutes shaving every single day with a razor for me.

 

[Genx87]

¿Por qué no los dos?

They stuck all the terrible fads over the past 30 years into a single outfit and sold it.

 

[Mr.IncrediblyBored]

That's the hipster way; they intentionally seek out things that nobody could possibly like so they can feel morally superior. A good IPA is a thing of beauty, but hipsters aren't happy unless it tastes like sucking Pine-Sol through a gym sock. True story; Bridgeport Brewing, the company responsible for reviving the IPA style in the mid-90s with their Gold-medal winning IPA, received judges' tasting notes at a 2009 beer competition that their IPA was "not true to style" because it wasn't 100+ IBUs.

What's wrong with that? Bridgeport didn't invent the IPA. Winning medals for your IPA is easy when few others are doing it. There is just more competition now.

 

[MrPickins]

¿Por qué no los dos?

Truth.

 

[Aharami]

Truth.

 

[norseamd]

Nothing wrong with a thin guy keeping a full beard at all.

And this is from someone who is 5'11.5" and 240 lbs.

 

[norseamd]

Not to mention that they've had way too much influence on the craft / micro-brew beer market. Way too many IPAs now. I love a nice IPA in the summer, but the companies seem to be trying to outdo each other in over-hopping to satisfy these rejects. You might just as well drink concentrated fermented grapefruit juice.

This...man so this. I love a good IPA but for the last few years it has been a contest who can overhop their beers to the point of disgust. Eventually it becomes a number, who has the most bitterness units and no balance.

That's the hipster way; they intentionally seek out things that nobody could possibly like so they can feel morally superior. A good IPA is a thing of beauty, but hipsters aren't happy unless it tastes like sucking Pine-Sol through a gym sock. True story; Bridgeport Brewing, the company responsible for reviving the IPA style in the mid-90s with their Gold-medal winning IPA, received judges' tasting notes at a 2009 beer competition that their IPA was "not true to style" because it wasn't 100+ IBUs.

You guys are just anti-hipster hipsters and can suck it.

Hoptimum is a holy creation of god and no one, basic bro or hipster, is going to make me care if they drink it at all.

 

[norseamd]

beards are so in these days. Almost everyone has them. But the upkeep on them must be crazy

Que?

You sure?

 

[Gooberlx2]

beards are so in these days. Almost everyone has them. But the upkeep on them must be crazy

I guess the very long ZZtop beards, where they gotta be combed or something lest they turn into knotted messes, kept out of food on the table, etc...

I grew my beard out several inches last year, at least as long as the guy's in the lumbersexual picture. All I ever did was shampoo and condition with the runoff from my hair, and trim it occasionally, which I have to do anyway. It was fine.

 

[SparkyJJO]

beards are so in these days. Almost everyone has them. But the upkeep on them must be crazy

Nah, I have one partly because I'm lazy. Quick trim one weekend, full trim next weekend. A lot less work than shaving every morning. I keep it pretty short so it is very low maintenance.

 

[kage69]

#2 looks like your average Joe guy. The other three look like twat waffles.

I knew this thread would be informative. Heh.

That might be even funnier than "spunk trumpet."