Oil will top $300 a barrel.
The eco-KOOKS will finally get proven wrong about global warming. Dozens of coal plants will be reopened to avert another ice age, and recycling will become a capital crime.
Obama's Kenyan birth certificate will be found right before he takes office, and the presidency will be awarded to McCain. He will have a heart attack two days later, and Palin will be sworn into office as the first female president of the US. The cognative dissonance will render feminists everywhere catatonic.
New documents will be released which will prove the US government's role in orchestrating 9/11, the Kennedy assassination, and the moon landings. Israel will be forced to admit their role in coordinating these conspiracies, and after an enormous wave of rioting and public outcry, they will activate their highly-placed agents in every country and stage a worldwide coup. They will share leadership of the One World Government with the lizard people.
The shock of this development will lead to the formation of an undercover organization dedicated to overthrowing the new government. Due to politics making for strange bedfellows, the organization will unite such warring groups as Al Qaeda, the KKK, the Lavender Panthers, and the Westboro Baptist Church. A black market trade route between the former US and the Middle East will arise, ferrying AK-47s and RPGs into the US and Truck Nutz into the Middle East.
And fuzzybabybunny will put aside his stuffed animals and become the next Pickup Artist on MTV.
