atot females (yes both of you)

[Ns1]

generally speaking, how long does a guy have before being thrown into the fiery depths of platonic hell?

i have a 1-2 month answer

and a ~5 seconds answer

comments?

 

[Jfur]

13 picoseconds

 

[Bullhonkie]

<< 13 picoseconds >>



Sadly, that sounds about right.

 

[Jimbo]

<< 13 picoseconds >>

Yeah, that is about right. Just remember, sex by the second date, or it's too late.

 

[Kadarin]

Haven't you learned anything from the collective wisdom of ATOT? The more you treat her like an ass, the better your chances...

 

[AreaCode707]

Hm, I'm probably not the best person to ask on this because you most likely aren't getting the answer the average female would give you... so you are warned. I can't imagine dating anyone I wasn't friends with first, for at least a month or two. However, if there wasn't some initial attraction (also meaning, some signs that he was attracted to me) within about three or four months, more likely I'd consider you "just a friend", whether or not the relationship started up that fast. It's the attraction that it would rest on, for me. But for me, I want a guy to be a friend before I'd agree to go out with him.

 

[Jfur]

<< Haven't you learned anything from the collective wisdom of ATOT? The more you treat her like an ass, the better your chances... >>



That may be true for insecure women, but otherwise it's a load. Women do determine --perhaps even subconsciusly-- whether you are dateable fairly quickly. It's based on a variety of factors and I'm sure it differs. Once a woman gets close to settling down (not necessarily marrying, but having matured somewhat) some of the "friend" qualities become more appealing.

That first judgment is usually not too severe, and it's the minutes, weeks, or months that follow that further refine her image of whether you are dateable. But if you were deemed not to be in the first cutoff (e.g. you are 97 years old and she is 16, you are perceived to be a jerk, she has a fetish for long blonde hair that impairs her judgment) then you may be relegated to the friend zone.

 

[ohtwell]

<< Hm, I'm probably not the best person to ask on this because you most likely aren't getting the answer the average female would give you... so you are warned. I can't imagine dating anyone I wasn't friends with first, for at least a month or two. However, if there wasn't some initial attraction (also meaning, some signs that he was attracted to me) within about three or four months, more likely I'd consider you "just a friend", whether or not the relationship started up that fast. It's the attraction that it would rest on, for me. But for me, I want a guy to be a friend before I'd agree to go out with him. >>



I agree with you.





: ) Amanda

 

[CrazyDe1]

being friends first builds better relationships...I've actually never gone out w/ anyone I wasn't friends w/ first...but this isn't becuase I choose it...its cause I'm an idiot if I approach a chick...flat out retarded..but if I know them I don't have to try and think of what to say because its like just chillin out and havin fun
usually you already know the person and you're close to them and the physical stuff just adds that much mroe to it

with a friend, they know me so I can make whatever dumb jokes I usually make...and they know all my sarcasm so its all good...and I'm usually all witty n crap cause theres no pressure...if nothing happens u still got an awesome friend and if somethin happens thats even better...

the other side of this is I'm still friends w/ all my ex's cause I was friends w/ them first...and I see no reason not to be friends w/ them afterwards...breakups were always on good terms and some of my ex's are the closest friends I'll ever have...that and exsex is good sex heh

 

[yakko]

I didn't feel like reading everything here.

 

[Orsorum]

<< I didn't feel like reading everything here. >>



Good for you. Neither do I.

And, yet, we both wasted everyone elses' time and our own, plus space on Anand's server to let this be known. Master of the Nef.

 

[Kelvrick]

I don't get the question...

Oh! Platonic...







Found out the girl I've liked and fretted over for months likes me, but then she doesn't want a relationship rigth now. My posts on ATOT won't be as happy as they used to be. Maybe in a month or two it'l lbe happy again.

 

[CKDragon]

I used to think that I could never go out with a girl that I wasn't initially attracted to, but after about 4 months of friendship my current girlfriend grew into a very appealing person, both physically and emotionally. This Saturday will be 6 months with Kelly.

So I've converted and now I'm a believer that there can be attraction AFTER first sight.

CK

 

[TheOmegaCode]

<< Yeah, that is about right. Just remember, sex by the second date, or it's too late. >>


Is that so... I'll have to remember that...

 

[joohang]

<< 13 picoseconds >>

LOL

 

[gopunk]

That may be true for insecure women, but otherwise it's a load.

i concur, it's only good if you're not looking for a nice relationship. you might still get a relationship by being an ass, but it will be rocky, imo.

 

[Nemesis77]

Me and my girlfriend became a couple after we had been best friends for over an year .

 

[LordThing]

I am a habitual "only a friend". Now I have had my share of women I have dated but more times than not the girl uses me as a cuddle dummy when she feels insecure. I agree with HotChic on some points. Yes you have to be friends to have a good relationship, but the rotten truth is that its a cop out to say they have to get to know you to go out with you.


A girl knows when she meets you if she is attracted to you. If she was attracted to you enough, she would be all for dating you as soon as you met and showed interest. You can get to know a person as you go out and do things together. What do you think you guys will do as friends for crying out loud? Hang out and talk. Its not like you have to make out with each other the first few dates. You get stuck in the friend zone when you are a nice guy and do things for her but aren't enough of a challenge to try for you. You are there for her to bitch with and listen. Her safety net. Her d*ck under glass, as it were. With big red letters under it saying "In case of emergency".

Thats if she even shows interest. Sometimes, the sparks are not there...I have had it happen with girls and me. I like them, but I can't seem to see me actually getting intimate with them. Normally its because they are absolutely clingy/loopy, but of course "nice guys" end up comming off like that and probably a good reason why we get stuck in the "friend zone".

Hey, just take it to heart that if she doesn't show interest after a few attempts, give up. Give her the 3 strikes method. If she doesn't pass, move on. If she doesn't want you after you made clear attempts, she obviously doesn't want you. Masturbation is your friend.

 

[Ns1]

<< Masturbation is your friend. >>



agreed

poor kittens