Asian/Indian HS students: Do you ever feel that your parents are trying to one-up you?

[CarlKillerMiller]

I've noticed (not lately, exactly) that my parents (mainly the dad) seem to attempt to one-up me and my sister (especially my sister) when we come home with an accomplishment. Two examples:

Sister comes home today with a 95% on her world history test. I'm real proud of her because she's not the quickest on the uptake in that class, and she improved a lot. My pops compares it to a similar class he took in India, and how he did so much better.

Had a meet tonight and beat another high school 360 to 30. Our team just powerhoused it and crushed them. In the next match, we edged out the #1 team in the state by 20 points. Told the father afterwards, and he just says "360? What's the possible, 600? That's like a 60%. I rememebr when I did (something similar) we were scoring 80%, 90% of the points, easily.

It seems that whenever we accomplish something, he'd always have done something "In India" that was far, far better. I don't know if it's his version of motivation, but it's having a really negative effect on the both of us. We're really sick of it, and my sister has even started to actively hate him for it.


Your thoughts, ATOTers?

 

[z0mb13]

asian parents always feel that you can do better.

 

[faenix]

Stop crying.

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Don't worry about it

If you want to do something about it though, sit down and explain it to them. Tell them how they've taught you some values about working hard giving examples. Tell them you are doing your best and that you will continue doing that without their saying to do even better.

Honestly, their habits probably won't change at this stage in life. They're only trying to let you know that you can keep doing even better. Ever heard of kalla teeka? Parents put that on their kids when they are doing good and don't want something bad to happen. They want you to keep doing as well as you are now.

Just keep doing your best and everything will work out

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Originally posted by: faenix
Stop crying.

He wants an explanation, that's all

 

[Mo0o]

I think he's just trying to tell you you're capable of more.

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Originally posted by: z0mb13
asian parents always feel that you can do better.

Well of course they do, look at how most of them were brought up. My dad lived in a 10ft by 10ft room till his 10th grade. Oh, that was the size of the house, not his room, no joke at all

Today, we're at a much different standard of living

 

[pray4mojo]

I just don't tell them my accomplishments. I never received much praise anyways.

 

[AccruedExpenditure]

You call that a RANT... I've seen better rants on on the walls of stalls in bathrooms!!!1one!! When I was your age my rants were published in the NEW YORK TIMES...

you've disgraced all of ATOT.

ingrateful.

 

[OulOat]

It's just their way of pressuring you to do better. I don't know about your family, but my family comes from poor rural Chinese farmers. Poor as in living in mud huts with mud floors. My dad worked hard to get into college, and worked even harder to get in the US. Now we live a nice life as the middle class. Your father probably wants you to work harder, to succeed, so you don't have to go through the hardships he has gone through.

 

[dataxpress]

Possibly an interesting motivational technique.

Great job on those games, btw!

 

[johnjbruin]

it is typical for indian parents to do that - seen it in many families

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Originally posted by: pray4mojo
I just don't tell them my accomplishments. I never received much praise anyways.

You have to learn to understand what your parents are trying to say and why they do certain things, I'm sure they feel proud when you tell them of your accomplishments.

Just for the record, I don't think I understand my parents that well at all

 

They know they are light in the pants.

 

[amol]

my parents do the exact same thing (indian)

they keep comparing their english classes in india vs my honors english classes here . . . THEY'RE NOT EVEN IN THE SAME LEAGUE!!

 

[amol]

Originally posted by: AgaBoogaBoo

Originally posted by: z0mb13
asian parents always feel that you can do better.

My dad lived in a 10ft by 10ft room till his 10th grade. Oh, that was the size of the house, not his room, no joke at all

Today, we're at a much different standard of living

WOW, SAME HERE!!

except it was 15x15 . . . 2 parents (one professor, one grade school teacher) and 4 kids (9 years apart, youngest and oldest)

 

[TallBill]

Why do you have to make it a racial issue? cant it just be "HS students: Do you ever feel that your parents are trying to one-up you?"

Maybe my parents tried to one up me as well in High School, but obviously you dont care about what I have to say.

 

[imthebadguy]

im indian.....my parents have never been this way....i get along really well with my rentz imo, i dont really find this kinda behavior with other indian parents that we are family friends with....maybe its just your parents and has nothing to do with being indian

 

[PowerMac4Ever]

If I were you I'd have solace in the fact that I'm not growing up in India...

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Originally posted by: TallBill
Why do you have to make it a racial issue? cant it just be "HS students: Do you ever feel that your parents are trying to one-up you?"

Maybe my parents tried to one up me as well in High School, but obviously you dont care about what I have to say.

It's more common among the Indians here compared to those whose parents were born here, that's why he's asking

 

[Kishan]

Most asian parents simply don't know how to show affection to their children. I really don't complain though-I try to understand them, they try to understand me, its a two way street you know?

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Originally posted by: KPSHAH316
Most asian parents simply don't know how to show affection to their children. I really don't complain though-I try to understand them, they try to understand me, its a two way street you know?

:thumbsup:

 

[CarlKillerMiller]

Originally posted by: TallBill
Why do you have to make it a racial issue? cant it just be "HS students: Do you ever feel that your parents are trying to one-up you?"

Maybe my parents tried to one up me as well in High School, but obviously you dont care about what I have to say.

I said this because Indian and Asian parents have a history of using strange motivational techniques to improve their kids. I also said it beause I'm Indian, and i feel i ccan identify with that group best.


But actually I'm just a filthy, filthy racist.

 

[nater]

Watch Better Luck Tomorrow

 

[Kishan]

Originally posted by: nater
Watch Better Luck Tomorrow

i kinda liked the movie even though it, "tried very hard to be cool," and really didn't make too much sense.