Been to both twice, though only once each as an adult.
In Aruba we stayed at the large Renaissance resort downtown. Good proximity to shops and restaurants. Beach is on a private island they will ferry you to. Poor snorkeling and swimming at this place. The beaches where you are looking along the west side resorts are nice, more of your standard beach setup. As far as island attractions go, much of the island is desert, but there are still a few cool things to check out... natural (collapsed) bridge, natural pool... I think doing a four wheeler tour along the north coast would be fun, we just did it in a rental
aruba diving was much better than sxm, antilla wreck was cool (can see from satellite).
in sxm we stayed in a house near orient beach (french side, north eastish). i love that beach! not as many attractions on sxm imo. the beach by the airport is a must see, but really not as much going on here. also, we went in DEAD season (sept) so many places were closed, even along orient beach. diving is not great on sxm, but i think it is growing (really need to head over to saba which is close but offshore if you want that). dont know much about the area you described, we didnt check it out. if you are into seaglass walk along the beach in grand case (closest town to where you are staying)
i would say aruba is a little less ghetto/carribbean. having spent a lot of time down there it doesn't really bother me but some people may care. aruba is probably the 'nicest' island aside from the caymans IMO and it definitely feels more built up than saint martin.
both have nightlife if you are looking for that. casinos. booze. etc. honestly both are great. it really depends what you are looking for but i dont think you will be disappointed with either choice.