"Low flow? I don't like the sound of that."
- Kramer, in "The Shower Head"
"You see this? Any thought pops into their head, they're calling me because it's a local call now. I'm used to a 1200-mile buffer zone. I can't handle this. Plus, I've got the dinners, I've got the pop-in's. They pop-in! It's brutal."
- Jerry, about his parents, in "The Shower Head"
"If I don't have a good shower, I am not myself. I feel weak and ineffectual. I'm not Kramer."
- Kramer, in "The Shower Head"
"If you could perhaps conduct the psychopath convention down the hall..."
- Jerry, to his parents and the Costanzas, in "The Shower Head"
"I just took a bath, Jerry. A bath!"
"No good?"
"It's disgusting. I'm sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth. All kinds of microscopic parasites and organisms having sex all around me."
- Kramer and Jerry, in "The Shower Head"
"Now here's the lowdown. Through a certain connection, I've been able to locate some black market shower heads. They're all made in the former Yugoslavia. And from what I hear, the Serbs are fanatic about their showers."
"Not from the footage I've seen."
- Newman and Jerry, in "The Shower Head"