Arg, another rant, sorry bear with me. (NOT YAGT)

johnjohn320

Diamond Member
Jan 9, 2001
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Yes, I've started a thread about this before, not sure where it went, but anyway this really is just a vent. If you'd like to add your thoughts, feel free, but I just need to "exhale" all of this somewhere.

There's a guy named Jake whom I've been very close friends with for years. We hung out all the time, had a blast, he was one of those few that you just really connect with (I get along with just about everyone, but I seem to have a tougher time finding people who I really truly connect with, he was always in the same boat). This past summer, I left town for 3 weeks. I come back, and somehow things had...changed. He had started hanging out with a whole bunch of other people. I'd like to make very clear that this is NOT an issue, I'm not one of those clingy freaks who wants my friends for myself and get pissed when they spend time with anyone else besides me. Matter of fact, his new found group of people are all really neat folks, I get along with them really well. They fall more into the category of "i get along with them great but don't connect with them in that unique way."

So, he and I hang out a few more times throughout the summer, and everytime we do, everything's normal. We still always are laughing it up and having a great time. But, school started, and it seemed to just...cease. It's partially my fault, I got very busy near the beginning of the school year and didn't go out a lot. At the same time, we wasn't calling me to invite me out or anything, but I wasn't calling him either because I was so busy. I've come to the realization lately that he and I have not hung out outside of school since September (maybe early October, I can't remember). I've been calling him a lot, 1-2 times a week or so to see if he wants to hang out. Every time, the answer is no for one reason or another. But then, we end up talking on the phone for half an hour and the conversation is great. Everytime we talk in school, things are just like they always were, the conversation's great, we laugh a lot, and I'm always saying "man, when we gonna hang out again? It's been so long." He'll always reply like "yeah, maybe this weekend" or something.

So, you might think he's just busy, but it's like this: every weekend I call him, and every weekend he can't get together. Then, every monday I hear about how great his weekend was (from him telling me about it), and the time he spent with these other friends.

OK, I know, this just screams to all of you "get over it, move on, find new friends, you two have separated." But, as I said, neither of us really seem all that different I don't think. I don't think I've changed because my other friends and I are just dandy. He doesn't really seem to have changed too much to me, judging by the conversations we have on the phone and in person; except that he does do quite a bit more drugs than he used to. Now, don't judge him, that's not the issue here. I'm not worried about him, he's a smart kid and he hangs out with good people, I do think he gets high too much, but it doesn't really bother me. The other reason it's hard to move on is because, make fun of me all you want, but I really like this guy (and I'm straight, so no jokes there!). You have no idea how close he and I were for so long, he was like a best friend if you will.

What's pushing my buttons this evening in particular (that's drawing my concentration away from studying for my Algebra final tomorrow)? I'm having a little birthday party of sorts on Friday, and he just informed me he can't come. Kind of a shot to the nuts when one of your best friends can't come to your birthday party. It's not like he's hanging out with other people or anything, his parents are dragging him off to a convention this weekend. But still, it's just annoying.

Sigh. :( I always think I have it figured out...
 

KevinH

Diamond Member
Nov 19, 2000
3,110
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In all seriousness...are you a girl? If not are you gay? I'm not being a d1ck. I'm just trying to understand the dynamics of this relationship.
 

johnjohn320

Diamond Member
Jan 9, 2001
7,572
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Originally posted by: KevinH
In all seriousness...are you a girl? If not are you gay? I'm not being a d1ck. I'm just trying to understand the dynamics of this relationship.

No. We are both straight males. Just really close friends, like best friends (or so I thought). I thought I made that clear...
 

pinoy

Golden Member
Nov 19, 2000
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except that he does do quite a bit more drugs than he used to. Now, don't judge him, that's not the issue here. I'm not worried about him, he's a smart kid and he hangs out with good people, I do think he gets high too much,

huh? he's smart but do drugs and gets high too much? man, i bet you, there are other kids in your neighborhood that you can easily connect with. keep on looking!

BTW, if its your B-day, advance Happy Big Day!!
 

Zugzwang152

Lifer
Oct 30, 2001
12,134
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happy b-day :)

he's not your girlfriend or something, why don't you try and get to know his other friends, then you guys can all do sh!t together.
 

tweakmm

Lifer
May 28, 2001
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Originally posted by: pinoy
huh? he's smart but do drugs
What are you thinking John, It's obvious that anybody who uses drugs is stupid
rolleye.gif
 

johnjohn320

Diamond Member
Jan 9, 2001
7,572
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Originally posted by: pinoy
except that he does do quite a bit more drugs than he used to. Now, don't judge him, that's not the issue here. I'm not worried about him, he's a smart kid and he hangs out with good people, I do think he gets high too much,

huh? he's smart but do drugs and gets high too much? man, i bet you, there are other kids in your neighborhood that you can easily connect with. keep on looking!

BTW, if its your B-day, advance Happy Big Day!!

Yes, smart people can do drugs, too. I'm not gonna get into that argument here, though. It's irrelevant and I probably shouldn't have posted it in the first place.

Your threads are long.

I've got a lot to say. :)

he's not your girlfriend or something, why don't you try and get to know his other friends, then you guys can all do sh!t together.
Sounds obvious, but to be honest I hadn't really fully considered this. I already know the other people, I guess I just need to sort of...get to know them better. Who knows, maybe it'll work. It's just odd to sort of try to "force a friendship to happen" you know what I mean?
 

johnjohn320

Diamond Member
Jan 9, 2001
7,572
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Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Where are the cliff notes?

I know, it's 5 whole paragraphs...:confused: It took me about 10 mins to type, should take you very little to read it. :)
 

Deeko

Lifer
Jun 16, 2000
30,213
12
81
Originally posted by: tweakmm
Originally posted by: Deeko
Originally posted by: tweakmm
Originally posted by: pinoy
huh? he's smart but do drugs
What are you thinking John, It's obvious that anybody who uses drugs is stupid
rolleye.gif

his name is not john biotch
Maybe it's just me, but I would think his username would suggest otherwise;)

You think you know...but you have no idea...the diary of AT :p
 

johnjohn320

Diamond Member
Jan 9, 2001
7,572
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Originally posted by: tweakmm
Originally posted by: Deeko
Originally posted by: tweakmm
Originally posted by: pinoy
huh? he's smart but do drugs
What are you thinking John, It's obvious that anybody who uses drugs is stupid
rolleye.gif

his name is not john biotch
Maybe it's just me, but I would think his username would suggest otherwise;)

Actually, he's right. My name's Scott. I'm weird like that.

Incidentally, guess who came up with the screen name johnjohn? Ah yes, the friend this thread is about.
 

tweakmm

Lifer
May 28, 2001
18,436
4
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Originally posted by: johnjohn320
Incidentally, guess who came up with the screen name johnjohn? Ah yes, the friend this thread is about.
that actualy makes a lot of sense :D
:cool:

Maybe you should start smoking as much as he does? ;)
 

Deeko

Lifer
Jun 16, 2000
30,213
12
81
Originally posted by: johnjohn320
Originally posted by: tweakmm
Originally posted by: Deeko
Originally posted by: tweakmm
Originally posted by: pinoy
huh? he's smart but do drugs
What are you thinking John, It's obvious that anybody who uses drugs is stupid
rolleye.gif

his name is not john biotch
Maybe it's just me, but I would think his username would suggest otherwise;)

Actually, he's right. My name's Scott. I'm weird like that.

Incidentally, guess who came up with the screen name johnjohn? Ah yes, the friend this thread is about.

booyah biotches. Booyah. I was gonna tell you his real name, but I figured I'd make you guys guess...guess his last name :Q

So...how did your friend come up with that name?
 

Mill

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
28,558
3
81
Originally posted by: tweakmm
Originally posted by: pinoy
huh? he's smart but do drugs
What are you thinking John, It's obvious that anybody who uses drugs is stupid
rolleye.gif

<---- No, but someone who does drugs too much is stupid.
 

tweakmm

Lifer
May 28, 2001
18,436
4
0
Originally posted by: Millennium
Originally posted by: tweakmm
Originally posted by: pinoy
huh? he's smart but do drugs
What are you thinking John, It's obvious that anybody who uses drugs is stupid
rolleye.gif

<---- No, but someone who does drugs too much is stupid.
true, but Scott(;)) just said that he thought he got high too much, one persons opinion. I'd want to know how often he got high before I made a judgement on whether he smoked too much
but I have to agree that somebody who does too much drugs is stupid

 

johnjohn320

Diamond Member
Jan 9, 2001
7,572
2
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Originally posted by: tweakmm
Originally posted by: Millennium
Originally posted by: tweakmm
Originally posted by: pinoy
huh? he's smart but do drugs
What are you thinking John, It's obvious that anybody who uses drugs is stupid
rolleye.gif

<---- No, but someone who does drugs too much is stupid.
true, but Scott(;)) just said that he thought he got high too much, one persons opinion. I'd want to know how often he got high before I made a judgement on whether he smoked too much
but I have to agree that somebody who does too much drugs is stupid

Alright alright forget I said anything about the drugs, he did drugs when we were good friends and hung out all the time too, hey I smoked with him a few times. That's NOT THE ISSUE.
 

tweakmm

Lifer
May 28, 2001
18,436
4
0
Originally posted by: johnjohn320
Originally posted by: tweakmm
Originally posted by: Millennium
Originally posted by: tweakmm
Originally posted by: pinoy
huh? he's smart but do drugs
What are you thinking John, It's obvious that anybody who uses drugs is stupid
rolleye.gif

<---- No, but someone who does drugs too much is stupid.
true, but Scott(;)) just said that he thought he got high too much, one persons opinion. I'd want to know how often he got high before I made a judgement on whether he smoked too much
but I have to agree that somebody who does too much drugs is stupid

Alright alright forget I said anything about the drugs, he did drugs when we were good friends and hung out all the time too, hey I smoked with him a few times. That's NOT THE ISSUE.
sorry, I just love a good thread hijack now and then
If you are that close to him, have you talked to him about how you feel?

 

johnjohn320

Diamond Member
Jan 9, 2001
7,572
2
76
Originally posted by: tweakmm
Originally posted by: johnjohn320
Originally posted by: tweakmm
Originally posted by: Millennium
Originally posted by: tweakmm
Originally posted by: pinoy
huh? he's smart but do drugs
What are you thinking John, It's obvious that anybody who uses drugs is stupid
rolleye.gif

<---- No, but someone who does drugs too much is stupid.
true, but Scott(;)) just said that he thought he got high too much, one persons opinion. I'd want to know how often he got high before I made a judgement on whether he smoked too much
but I have to agree that somebody who does too much drugs is stupid

Alright alright forget I said anything about the drugs, he did drugs when we were good friends and hung out all the time too, hey I smoked with him a few times. That's NOT THE ISSUE.
sorry, I just love a good thread hijack now and then
If you are that close to him, have you talked to him about how you feel?

I have, but I don't think I've been forward enough. You know how it is, I sort of chickened out and beat around the bush, not really going into as much detail as I really felt, just sort of glazing over it and seeing what happened. I basically told him that I didn't know why we stopped hanging out, and I really want to again (and I added "I dont know if there's a hint [to go away and leave him alone] I'm not picking up on or something", he assured me there wasn't). Basically he agreed we needed to hang out more, but nothing's changed.