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Area plows using Skittles to maintain roads

Red Squirrel

No Lifer
Seems like a good idea to me. Only issue I see is all the squirrels and birds are going to get diabeetus.


NORTH BAY — Citing the rising cost of road salt and environmental concerns, area snowplows are now using Skittles to maintain winter highways at milder temperatures.

Drew Strickland is the head of Ferronial Services, the contractor responsible for clearing local highways.

“We were just as skeptical as anyone with the initiative,” says Strickland, “but it works. Skittles consist of a hard shell which shatter when frozen and create grit. The citric acid inside also helps break down pre-existing ice and prevents build-up when the temperature drops.”

Invented in 1974, Skittles are a hard candy that comes in a variety of colours and flavours, including Tropical, Wild Berry, Dessert, Sweet Heat and Sour.

“As far as I know, our plows are using Original Recipe Skittles,” says Strickland.

Cost-Efficient

Ferronial Services is a company that “values innovative, cost-efficient, and sustainable solutions,” explains Strickland.

“I believe using Skittles is innovative and sustainable, and it is very cost-efficient. The current price for road salt is $57.71 per ton, whereas the current price for Skittles is $43.96 per ton.”

“That’s a lot of money the taxpayer is saving.”

Minor Issues

While the project has proven “fruitful and flavourful,” Strickland says there have been “a few bumps in the road.”

“Originally, we wanted to use mints because they shatter better, but they were cost prohibitive. Then, we tried using Mentos, but that proved disastrous. Someone threw a can of Coke out the window and we lost half a kilometer of Highway 63.”

So the company settled on Skittles.

“It’s been great so far,” smiles Strickland. “They’re effective. Our only current concern is the deer population, which appears to have become addicted to them. They’re getting bolder. Too bold, really. After the last attack we thought about arming our men.”

“But I don’t think we’ll have to do that. Yet.”
 
Two cents a pound? Now I can have a van that says "Free Candy" on the side and actually afford to give out free candy. The cops are going to be so confused.
I don't think parents will be happy with some guy in a van giving free candy to kids. And neither will the police. Be very careful as may get arrested and having to explain yourself to the Judge.

I can see the headlines now. "Child molester caught in white van using skittles to lure children for Child Sex Trafficking ring".

Don't do it you will be only asking for trouble.
 
I don't think parents will be happy with some guy in a van giving free candy to kids. And neither will the police. Be very careful as may get arrested and having to explain yourself to the Judge.

I can see the headlines now. "Child molester caught in white van using skittles to lure children for Child Sex Trafficking ring".

Don't do it you will be only asking for trouble.
I'm pretty sure he was joking, sparky.
 
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Has anybody thought of the increased cost of dental work for all the little furry wild critters?

Is the health care system in Canada able to adsorb the added load?
 
Has anyone done any science to determine how Skittles bio-degrade? What happens if they stick around and just get gooey when the weather warms up in the summer? The whole highway system could turn into a giant glue trap and all the little hosers will be stuck like mice. Obviously I'm not saying that would be a bad thing, it would be really really entertaining for the rest of the world.
 
Has anybody thought of the increased cost of dental work for all the little furry wild critters?

Is the health care system in Canada able to adsorb the added load?
Little furry wild critters are eating and provide fur for crafts and other uses.
 
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